2015 Biglaw Boneus Thread Forum

[Actus Reus]

Don't bitch about clients not affording our salaries but then go and raise your billing rates. Such a bummer partners can't afford their house addition this year. Real bummer.

[Big Shrimpin]

Don't bitch about clients not affording our salaries but then go and raise your billing rates. Such a bummer partners can't afford their house addition this year. Real bummer.

but they CAN still afford to remodel that kitchen or buy daughter the new C-Class for her sweet 16

the selected prose in th dpw memo is befuddling

classic blame the victims

billing rates up, PPP up, associate salaries stagnant/down

BUT TEH POOR CLIENTS

actually pretty 180 move by dpw

[dixiecupdrinking]

I mean, also the "clients" are all basically make-believe brands attached to piles of assets and bank accounts. "Don't forget, our client Acme Corp's revenues are down 5%" is not exactly Tiny Tim as far as Christmas sob stories.

[Big Shrimpin]

I mean, also the "clients" are all basically make-believe brands attached to piles of assets and bank accounts. "Don't forget, our client Acme Corp's revenues are down 5%" is not exactly Tiny Tim as far as Christmas sob stories.

yeah i love that

oh man please consider our struggling clients they're only going to beat earnings this year by a mile

who the fck we think actually wrote the memo??? like, did someone make their assistant do it without reviewing???

[bearsfan23]

Meanwhile, Boies associates pick up their new 7 Series from the dealership while you think about your ding and sigh deeply in your Kia: http://abovethelaw.com/2015/12/associat ... 50k-again/

Sucks that you were median and couldn't even get a Boies callback, doesn't it Mono?

[Actus Reus]

I mean, also the "clients" are all basically make-believe brands attached to piles of assets and bank accounts. "Don't forget, our client Acme Corp's revenues are down 5%" is not exactly Tiny Tim as far as Christmas sob stories.

yeah i love that

oh man please consider our struggling clients they're only going to beat earnings this year by a mile

who the fck we think actually wrote the memo??? like, did someone make their assistant do it without reviewing???

Right - the "client" is really the GC that kicks you business. They're there for the shareholders. So there you go, shareholders > associate employees. Enjoy Christmas!

That memo really was shit. The charity pandering was hard to believe. If bonuses had gone up, I would have understood

[Big Shrimpin]

I mean, also the "clients" are all basically make-believe brands attached to piles of assets and bank accounts. "Don't forget, our client Acme Corp's revenues are down 5%" is not exactly Tiny Tim as far as Christmas sob stories.

yeah i love that

oh man please consider our struggling clients they're only going to beat earnings this year by a mile

who the fck we think actually wrote the memo??? like, did someone make their assistant do it without reviewing???

Right - the "client" is really the GC that kicks you business. They're there for the shareholders. So there you go, shareholders > associate employees. Enjoy Christmas!

That memo really was shit. The charity pandering was hard to believe. If bonuses had gone up, I would have understood

biglaw is DONE HERE

[Anonymous User]

I mean, also the "clients" are all basically make-believe brands attached to piles of assets and bank accounts. "Don't forget, our client Acme Corp's revenues are down 5%" is not exactly Tiny Tim as far as Christmas sob stories.

yeah i love that

oh man please consider our struggling clients they're only going to beat earnings this year by a mile

who the fck we think actually wrote the memo??? like, did someone make their assistant do it without reviewing???

Right - the "client" is really the GC that kicks you business. They're there for the shareholders. So there you go, shareholders > associate employees. Enjoy Christmas!

That memo really was shit. The charity pandering was hard to believe. If bonuses had gone up, I would have understood

biglaw is DONE HERE

I'm embarrassed to work here after that memo. Last year I wore my gym bag logo to the front. This year I'll be sure to flip it.

[Johann]

lol except for the olds, we're all morons

you should also include average rent in places like NYC in 2000 (adjusted) and now....lol

+1

taxes have also gone up. and the trend is they will be going up again. like ive said, T14 -> biglaw is the best ticket there is to upper middle class. law is a sucker's game these days.

[Johann]

The tone of the DPW e-mail is not good. Basically our clients are struggling, be grateful we gave you this bonus, give it to charity. While last year's was extremely celebratory - we are the best, our clients are the best, make it rainnnnnnn. Weird.

NY to 190 = no.

The tone leaving open bonuses next year decreasing = yes.

i also said this in another thread or here - i forget. clients have been fighting bills again recently. last 8 months have not been good to be on the front lines and the next year does not look good either.

[mvp99]

The tone of the DPW e-mail is not good. Basically our clients are struggling, be grateful we gave you this bonus, give it to charity. While last year's was extremely celebratory - we are the best, our clients are the best, make it rainnnnnnn. Weird.

NY to 190 = no.

The tone leaving open bonuses next year decreasing = yes.

i also said this in another thread or here - i forget. clients have been fighting bills again recently. last 8 months have not been good to be on the front lines and the next year does not look good either.

What do you know? should we buy gold?

[Johann]

The tone of the DPW e-mail is not good. Basically our clients are struggling, be grateful we gave you this bonus, give it to charity. While last year's was extremely celebratory - we are the best, our clients are the best, make it rainnnnnnn. Weird.

NY to 190 = no.

The tone leaving open bonuses next year decreasing = yes.

i also said this in another thread or here - i forget. clients have been fighting bills again recently. last 8 months have not been good to be on the front lines and the next year does not look good either.

What do you know? should we buy gold?

i dont know shit other than public news. probably bitcoin, though.

[jkpolk]

At a v5 and filling out apps (based almost exclusively on comp) to non law jobs. GG

[Anonymous User]

Sorry if this is really dumb but what is considered a "first year" for Big Law purposes?

I assume most people start at the end of the summer in like September or October? So is a first year prorated bonus for those people who have been working 3-4 months?

[Clearly]

Sorry if this is really dumb but what is considered a "first year" for Big Law purposes?

I assume most people start at the end of the summer in like September or October? So is a first year prorated bonus for those people who have been working 3-4 months?

Yep.

[Anonymous User]

ok thanks

[Desert Fox]

[TLSModBot]

I don't even get the notion behind saying "here's a bonus, please think of our clients' poor market environments." What?

It's because last year some asshole clients bitched to the media about how they were paying for associates to go buck wild at the mall on their dime. Which is retarded. It's not like there is a line item on bills for bonus. Partners would just keep it.

Yeah but partners are also chumming with said clients, so clients get to see their bills put to good use like yachts and summer chateaus (of which clients can partake or at least chat about over cocktails). Letting an associate pay off his bills a little quicker just reeks of the icky poor and who wants their money going there?

[Anonymous User]

Also - at a non-DPW V5 corp here as well, and most of us are twiddling our thumbs. I don't know how DPW is faring, but things are beyond slow with no end in sight. It's great but when a partner tells you this is the slowest quarter in our group since 2008, you start to wonder.

[Anonymous User]

I'm Corporate at one of the Fab Five or whatever in NYC:

2015 was on pace to be busier than 2014 until fall, when markets went weird. Work slowed down significantly. I think it's just a hiccup and things will proceed apace soon. But gave excuse for comments like DPW made about clients facing difficulties, etc.

Not at a white shoe NYC firm, but this strikes me as right. Capital markets work seems to have downshifted to a lower gear the past few months or so, I'm sure those mega M&A deals are keeping enough associates busy/enough partner shopping for bigger yachts, but not the real "too much work too few associates!" scrum of the last few years. Could see things settling down at a normal pace for a bit, rather than bouncing back to gangbusters, but who knows.

[Anonymous User]

The bear market might explain some of the slowdown, but they haven't gone down THAT dramatically. Maybe companies are putting a brake on deals until they see what happens to interest rates. But I just don't see what's out there that's spooking clients so much. We were on pace to smash the M&A record this 3/4 of the way through the year.

[Anonymous User]

We did smash the record for M+A it was a record year. But record M+A does not equal record fees. Fees for a 100 billion deal for example aren't 100x a 1 billion deal (even if you're at Wachtell it's a scaled fee).

I worked on several M+A deals with capped fees too (far more than the previous year)

Sure, M+A fees are probably high this year but capital markets/finance have been essentially closed for Q4.

[Mola Ram]

The DPW language was incredibly gauche. Think of the struggling joint lead running manager! Their fixed income desk is like Jacob Marley's house! I get that the VC-backed stuff is starting to look shaky, IPOs have been put off and oil/gas is troubled. Your associates are a cost of doing business, like any other piece of capital. You don't say how struggling your clients are to the Cannon copier guy, so don't say it to people who work for you in a public forum.

One idea for DPW to put their money where their mouth is on the charity front would be to havethe equivalent of a director's honorarium. Give every 3rd year and associate above $1,000 that they can donate to any qualified charity of their choice. Contribution is by DPW in the name of the associate.

The optics would be fantastic for very little money. Everyone would talk about the support for charities in need and not the bonuses. Clients bitch? Hey, we support the community! We could have paid these assholes more but wanted to do good!

[Johann]

Also - at a non-DPW V5 corp here as well, and most of us are twiddling our thumbs. I don't know how DPW is faring, but things are beyond slow with no end in sight. It's great but when a partner tells you this is the slowest quarter in our group since 2008, you start to wonder.

Damn good luck corporate people. Pretty funny how these threads Started with hopes of big bonuses and 190k and will end with hope of just keeping your job. If you like job security, there is no worse field to pick than law.

[Morgan12Oak]

Also - at a non-DPW V5 corp here as well, and most of us are twiddling our thumbs. I don't know how DPW is faring, but things are beyond slow with no end in sight. It's great but when a partner tells you this is the slowest quarter in our group since 2008, you start to wonder.

Damn good luck corporate people. Pretty funny how these threads Started with hopes of big bonuses and 190k and will end with hope of just keeping your job. If you like job security, there is no worse field to pick than law.

Except it's actually probably one of the best for job security that's why you sacrifice pay for the security. Finance is 10x worse. Look at the downturn, you had only a few firms publicly lay off associates - every finance, bank, etc did.