Is an Hour (Driving) Commute a Dealbreaker for Big Law? Forum

[Desert Fox]

I think her MO was to come late, like 10:30, and then leave around 8 to miss most of the traffic. She had a huge house way out past Reston.

Was it an hour drive at 10:30 and 8. Cause if so that's probably 1:30 or 2 during rush.

[haus]

There was an associate at my summer firm who lived about an hour outside DC. Like, deep in the Virginia burbs. She seemed to be able to make it work. If it's an hour of actually driving as opposed to sitting in gridlock, I don't think it would be so terrible. Get a good audiobook, listen to some podcasts, etc. Might actually be a nice way to decompress at the end of the day.

I know some people who do this, but I really can't understand how they do it.

I work in Arlington and I live out in Western Loudoun County.

Although I do not work BigLaw, I do run an InfoSec incident response team (hours can be long), and I am a part-time law student. My morning commute usually takes about 75-90 minutes (longer if I am feeling cheep and do not want to pay for the toll roads), and I usually work late enough that traffic lightens up and I can make it home in about 50 minutes.

Most of the time I do not mind the drive (I could do without the sitting in traffic part), and having a place off the beaten path can be relaxing (when I get to be there) and my wife and daughter seem to enjoy the relatively peaceful environment.

[TheSpanishMain]

I think her MO was to come late, like 10:30, and then leave around 8 to miss most of the traffic. She had a huge house way out past Reston.

Was it an hour drive at 10:30 and 8. Cause if so that's probably 1:30 or 2 during rush.

Yeah around that. I think she said that without traffic she could do it in like 50 minutes.

[AJordan]

Your studio idea is immediately what I thought when I read your OP. Both my father and my best friend's father did this for years. It was no big deal at all and they didn't even have face time/Skype. The paychecks will help you pay off the house and the studio's costs will be ameliorated a bit by the few hundred bucks per month you'll save in auto maintenance/gas. Drive in to work Monday morning. Stay until you're done for the week. Drive home and stay until Monday morning. It's totally doable.

As a married guy who genuinely enjoys spending time with his wife I can see the downside but we were engaged and living separately and it was no big deal at all. Plus, if your wife is anything like mine, you will easily be able to sell her on the idea that it is a small cost for the future stability this time will provide to an eventual family. Especially since (if?) you don't have kids this is just a no brainer. Four nights a week away from the wife isn't going to hurt your marriage unless one of you is super insecure.

[mecarey]

No offense, but this thread is so melodramatic. It's an hour. Millions and millions of people commute an hour or longer for 1/3 of the pay of big law every day.

[Desert Fox]

No offense, but this thread is so melodramatic. It's an hour. Millions and millions of people commute an hour or longer for 1/3 of the pay of big law every day.

I commuted an hour a day for years. big law is a lot harder because the hours are longer and people expect you to be available. Just look at the example being discussed. 10:30-8pm means away from house 9:30-9. That's a pretty light biglaw day (9.5hr in office).

And less money makes its easier to commute not less. Your time is worth less.

[A. Nony Mouse]

Your time is worth less to your employer, but not to you.

But I agree if you're expected to be immediately available/in the office all the time it would be much more complicated than being able to just work from home.

[BigZuck]

Your studio idea is immediately what I thought when I read your OP. Both my father and my best friend's father did this for years. It was no big deal at all and they didn't even have face time/Skype. The paychecks will help you pay off the house and the studio's costs will be ameliorated a bit by the few hundred bucks per month you'll save in auto maintenance/gas. Drive in to work Monday morning. Stay until you're done for the week. Drive home and stay until Monday morning. It's totally doable.

As a married guy who genuinely enjoys spending time with his wife I can see the downside but we were engaged and living separately and it was no big deal at all. Plus, if your wife is anything like mine, you will easily be able to sell her on the idea that it is a small cost for the future stability this time will provide to an eventual family. Especially since (if?) you don't have kids this is just a no brainer. Four nights a week away from the wife isn't going to hurt your marriage unless one of you is super insecure.

I'm probably just insecure but I don't think the bolded is a universal truth

[waldorf]

.

[A. Nony Mouse]

Your studio idea is immediately what I thought when I read your OP. Both my father and my best friend's father did this for years. It was no big deal at all and they didn't even have face time/Skype. The paychecks will help you pay off the house and the studio's costs will be ameliorated a bit by the few hundred bucks per month you'll save in auto maintenance/gas. Drive in to work Monday morning. Stay until you're done for the week. Drive home and stay until Monday morning. It's totally doable.

As a married guy who genuinely enjoys spending time with his wife I can see the downside but we were engaged and living separately and it was no big deal at all. Plus, if your wife is anything like mine, you will easily be able to sell her on the idea that it is a small cost for the future stability this time will provide to an eventual family. Especially since (if?) you don't have kids this is just a no brainer. Four nights a week away from the wife isn't going to hurt your marriage unless one of you is super insecure.

I'm probably just insecure but I don't think the bolded is a universal truth

I think it absolutely depends on the couple. So I guess it's not universal but it's also not wrong.

That said, it would also suck.

[BigZuck]

Your studio idea is immediately what I thought when I read your OP. Both my father and my best friend's father did this for years. It was no big deal at all and they didn't even have face time/Skype. The paychecks will help you pay off the house and the studio's costs will be ameliorated a bit by the few hundred bucks per month you'll save in auto maintenance/gas. Drive in to work Monday morning. Stay until you're done for the week. Drive home and stay until Monday morning. It's totally doable.

As a married guy who genuinely enjoys spending time with his wife I can see the downside but we were engaged and living separately and it was no big deal at all. Plus, if your wife is anything like mine, you will easily be able to sell her on the idea that it is a small cost for the future stability this time will provide to an eventual family. Especially since (if?) you don't have kids this is just a no brainer. Four nights a week away from the wife isn't going to hurt your marriage unless one of you is super insecure.

I'm probably just insecure but I don't think the bolded is a universal truth

I think it absolutely depends on the couple. So I guess it's not universal but it's also not wrong.

That said, it would also suck.

Right

The "Just rent/buy a small place and stay there whenever EZ GAME bruh" thing is silly IMO. It might work. But it might not.

Just like driving two hours a day might work or it might not.

YMMV but people saying this is a no brainer or easy is bananaland

[Desert Fox]

Has anyone ever had a second apartment without starting a second family.

[A. Nony Mouse]

Has anyone ever had a second apartment without starting a second family.

I thought the point of a second apartment was to pretend you didn't have a family.

[Desert Fox]

Has anyone ever had a second apartment without starting a second family.

I thought the point of a second apartment was to pretend you didn't have a family.

Good point.

[Rlabo]

My commute is an hour via subway and it's not ideal but it works. I live at home (parents house) so I save quite a bit on rent in NYC as well as countless other incidental expenses – again, not ideal but anyone with loans would understand.

[nealric]

Gotta factor in Texas drivers, which are literally the worst. If this is Houston and you're, like, coming in from Sugarland or Katy or something then best of luck.

Everyone always insists their city has the worst drivers.

this is very true.

Yeah but I've lived in cities with notoriously bad drivers and they ain't got nothing on Houston

Sorry bros you're just going to have to take the L on this one

I live in Houston. NYC is worse.

K but pretty sure driving in New York City isn't even a thing that actually happens nice try though.

Admit it, you're one of those pass people on the right going 85 MPH Houstonians aren't you? We all know you tax bros go buck wild.

(By all means take your life into you own hands by driving two hours a day with a bunch of Houstonians but let's not pretend that isn't a harrowing, death defying experience)

Yeah, all those cars on the road in NYC are just figments of your imagination

Regarding my driving habits, I refuse to incriminate myself on this forum, but I do have a thing for fast cars