Asking for a day off as an SA Forum

[rpupkin]

No one at the firm will likely care. An eyebrow may be raised by one or two people, but no one will likely hold it against you. But now that's one time you've done a thing that no one else has yet, and really early in your tenure at the firm. Next time you want to take anniversary off, or kid's after-school thing, etc., you keep upping the risk of becoming 'that guy.' Again, not saying this is definitely you or how you will turn out, but merely that it's one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place. Maybe you'll keep hitting homers forever after. But risk-averse me doesn't plan that way.

Your advice is consistently poor. You have yet to work a day as a summer associate (let alone as an actual lawyer at a firm), and yet you freely opine on matters about which you know nothing. No eyebrows will be raised; no "strikes" against the OP will be counted; and the OP has not upped the risk of becoming "that guy," whatever that is supposed to mean. This is ridiculous.

[El Pollito]

holy shit no one is going to care if you take a couple days off to get married, you god damn autists

[AVBucks4239]

I also have 9 years experience working in the legal field with a number of Biglaw firms as my day-to-day clients, as opposed to, what, generally 1-3 years in a single firm's culture that the 'experienced' greybeards here usually boast? Bitch, please.

Ah, so your observations from the outside give you credibility for how things actually work? No.

Please stop giving bad advice.

In all seriousness, I will (1) give you twenty million dollars, (2) buy you a lottery ticket every day for the rest of your life, and (3) cut my dick off and sew it to my forehead if anybody at Married Dude's firm gives a single fuck that he takes a day off for HIS OWN WEDDING.

Cunt, please.

[TLSModBot]

I also have 9 years experience working in the legal field with a number of Biglaw firms as my day-to-day clients, as opposed to, what, generally 1-3 years in a single firm's culture that the 'experienced' greybeards here usually boast? Bitch, please.

Ah, so your observations from the outside give you credibility for how things actually work? No.

Please stop giving bad advice.

In all seriousness, I will (1) give you twenty million dollars, (2) buy you a lottery ticket every day for the rest of your life, and (3) cut my dick off and sew it to my forehead if anybody at Married Dude's firm gives a single fuck that he takes a day off for HIS OWN WEDDING.

Cunt, please.

It's almost as though I said THAT EXACT SAME THING. Oh wait, I did. So yes, the things I didn't say are certainly bad advice. Well done - you have a career in politics ahead of you that might rival brianiac himself.

To respond to what I actually said, though, would you repeat the same offer if OP does this AND makes a habit of similar planning issues down the road? Again, not assuming that he definitely will because I didn't say that either. Sorry to repeat myself but it appears reading previous posts is not your strong suit.

Edit: this is seriously derailing the convo but yes, a decade working closely with associates from ~20 V50 firms, often on-site, does give me some insight into the day-to-day workings of their firms. I would be interested to hear what you consider 'better' experience - someone who has 'stepped foot' into a single law firm and has no other experience with how other firms operate?

[AVBucks4239]

It's almost as though I said THAT EXACT SAME THING. Oh wait, I did. So yes, the things I didn't say are certainly bad advice. Well done - you have a career in politics ahead of you that might rival brianiac himself.

To respond to what I actually said, though, would you repeat the same offer if OP does this AND makes a habit of similar planning issues down the road? Again, not assuming that he definitely will because I didn't say that either. Sorry to repeat myself but it appears reading previous posts is not your strong suit.

OP didn't say he was going to make a career of poor planning, so maybe you shouldn't put words in his mouth, either.

[AVBucks4239]

BUT WOULDN'T YOU AGREE THAT THIS MIGHT INDICATE POOR PLANNING DOWN THE ROAD?!?!?

No, aspie, calm down. Nobody gives a shit.

[North]

This thread makes me hate TLS, and I never say that shit. What the fuck is wrong with you guys.

[jchiles]

I told my firm I'd need two days at the end of the summer for my wedding and it hasn't been an issue - one lawyer told me (nicely) that there was no chance the whole place would stop operating without me around. Picking a date that works for our families is a lot more important than avoiding some tiny, probably nonexistent risk of irritating the firm. I wouldn't want to get married in the middle of the summer but that's just because I'd want to take the honeymoon right away and taking two weeks off might be an actual problem.

[TLSModBot]

I do love the tried-and-true tactic of 'You're an idiot' and any response is met with 'Calm down aspie what's the big deal.'

Sorry for offending, North. I don't know when to stop feeding the trolls. I'll stop now - AV feel free to keep strawmanning me to your heart's content, you're doing a bangup job on both sides of the argument.

Edit: retake, go to t6 with $$, whatever the groupthink answer is, all times, forever. God forbid a different opinion get debated like adults.

[moonman157]

I can't believe there are actually people here suggesting that OP should have, two years in advance, sacrificed his and his wife's ideal wedding in order to make himself 100% available for a job he had yet to secure, during a time when he is completely useless to his firm (and everyone at the firm knows it). Maybe it comes from a lack of understanding of how little control you have over your wedding date if you have a set venue in mind, or want to work around everyone's schedules, but come on people.

[smallfirmassociate]

To respond to what I actually said, though, would you repeat the same offer if OP does this AND makes a habit of similar planning issues down the road?

Right, and if someone gets a speeding ticket today and makes a habit of similar issues of disregarding the law down the road, he may be guilty of murder. Of course, that type of pure speculation means fuck all. Nobody is going to bring up the speeding ticket at a murder trial.

Nobody is going to care that this guy takes a day off for his own wedding. Nobody will remember it if he goes back to the firm next year. Nobody will hold it against him.

If he then goes back to his firm and screws up in other ways, they will hold those other ways against them but still won't care that he took a day off for his wedding. You seem to be all but admitting this while simultaneously trying in vain to hold on to the remnants of a poor argument.

[AVBucks4239]

I do love the tried-and-true tactic of 'You're an idiot' and any response is met with 'Calm down aspie what's the big deal.'

Sorry for offending, North. I don't know when to stop feeding the trolls. I'll stop now - AV feel free to keep strawmanning me to your heart's content, you're doing a bangup job on both sides of the argument.

Edit: retake, go to t6 with $$, whatever the groupthink answer is, all times, forever. God forbid a different opinion get debated like adults.

I don't think you're an idiot. You're probably smarter than I am, attending a better school than I did, and will work at a better firm than I'm at.

What I will say is that I don't think it's fair to call OP "dumb" for planning his wedding during an SA he didn't know he would have, especially since that seems to be the best choice given his wife's particular taste in venue and season (the alternatives appear to be during bar exam study or during his first year as an associate...both worse options than doing it during his SA).

I also don't think it's fair to say that taking this day off is "one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place." That's just not how law firms work. They not only won't know OP was gone, they won't even remember that he took a day off for his wedding when he comes back after taking the bar exam. Seriously, everyone from the receptionist to the paralegals will have way more important things to do than worry about where OP is, and the partners and senior associates won't even know OP's name until three months into his time as a junior associate.

I also don't think it's fair to say that this could lead to bad habits for OP with regard to hours. Even firms with partners and senior associates that worship Satan understand that life happens.

That's all I'm saying, albeit with whiny and immature prose because I'm bored and waiting to get comments/revisions on an assignment I spent 30 hours on last week that I'm likely going to have to do over once the partner defecates on everything I wrote.

[CaptainJapan]

Edit: retake, go to t6 with $$

Ok this is pretty good.

[TLSModBot]

I do love the tried-and-true tactic of 'You're an idiot' and any response is met with 'Calm down aspie what's the big deal.'

Sorry for offending, North. I don't know when to stop feeding the trolls. I'll stop now - AV feel free to keep strawmanning me to your heart's content, you're doing a bangup job on both sides of the argument.

Edit: retake, go to t6 with $$, whatever the groupthink answer is, all times, forever. God forbid a different opinion get debated like adults.

I don't think you're an idiot. You're probably smarter than I am, attending a better school than I did, and will work at a better firm than I'm at.

What I will say is that I don't think it's fair to call OP "dumb" for planning his wedding during an SA he didn't know he would have, especially since that seems to be the best choice given his wife's particular taste in venue and season (the alternatives appear to be during bar exam study or during his first year as an associate...both worse options than doing it during his SA).

I also don't think it's fair to say that taking this day off is "one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place." That's just not how law firms work. They not only won't know OP was gone, they won't even remember that he took a day off for his wedding when he comes back after taking the bar exam. Seriously, everyone from the receptionist to the paralegals will have way more important things to do than worry about where OP is, and the partners and senior associates won't even know OP's name until three months into his time as a junior associate.

I also don't think it's fair to say that this could lead to bad habits for OP with regard to hours. Even firms with partners and senior associates that worship Satan understand that life happens.

That's all I'm saying, albeit with whiny and immature prose because I'm bored and waiting to get comments/revisions on an assignment I spent 30 hours on last week that I'm likely going to have to do over once the partner defecates on everything I wrote.

Bleh. I said I was gone and should've stuck with it, but fuck it - it deserves a response. That is a fair counterpoint - it was hasty to jump on the 'dumb' train and I was wrong about that.

My perspective is that I've seen people seriously get railroaded for stupid shit - not this exact scenario but with things that started off as innocent one-offs. But life keeps 'happening' and one-offs accumulate. Is it aspie to want to minimize every such opportunity for issue? Probably - I'll own up to that. But my broader point isn't that 'one ticket eventually leads to murder'. I think a more fair analogy along the same line would be: one ticket doesn't make a difference for Bar admission C&F purposes, but maybe a large number of the same types of tickets might (admitted conjecture here - but I read at least that consistently getting petty infractions like speeding/moving violations can warrant deeper investigation).

Maybe I'm prematurely jaded from personal experience - but from what I've seen at the top firms, law is a brutal and unforgiving place if you actually want to stay in BigLaw for any length of time. Obviously, if you're in the 'stay until I pay my debts and then get out' camp, different standards of behavior apply.

Aside: I also don't think weddings are as big a deal as some do here, which probably played into a misalignment of values - there's no 'right' answer, it's all about personal preferences, etc. - but my view (and my SO, thankfully) is that it was more important to have a light dealie we could have fun with than go all-in on a super formal, super stressful big event.

[lawschoolftw]

This thread makes me hate TLS, and I never say that shit. What the fuck is wrong with you guys.

[DoubleChecks]

No one at the firm will likely care. An eyebrow may be raised by one or two people, but no one will likely hold it against you. But now that's one time you've done a thing that no one else has yet, and really early in your tenure at the firm. Next time you want to take anniversary off, or kid's after-school thing, etc., you keep upping the risk of becoming 'that guy.' Again, not saying this is definitely you or how you will turn out, but merely that it's one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place. Maybe you'll keep hitting homers forever after. But risk-averse me doesn't plan that way.

Your advice is consistently poor. You have yet to work a day as a summer associate (let alone as an actual lawyer at a firm), and yet you freely opine on matters about which you know nothing. No eyebrows will be raised; no "strikes" against the OP will be counted; and the OP has not upped the risk of becoming "that guy," whatever that is supposed to mean. This is ridiculous.

Editing. I was still talking about OP when people are apparently talking about some other guy getting married during SA (which taking a day or two off for is 100% okay). My mistake.

[AVBucks4239]

Bleh. I said I was gone and should've stuck with it, but fuck it - it deserves a response. That is a fair counterpoint - it was hasty to jump on the 'dumb' train and I was wrong about that.

My perspective is that I've seen people seriously get railroaded for stupid shit - not this exact scenario but with things that started off as innocent one-offs. But life keeps 'happening' and one-offs accumulate. Is it aspie to want to minimize every such opportunity for issue? Probably - I'll own up to that. But my broader point isn't that 'one ticket eventually leads to murder'. I think a more fair analogy along the same line would be: one ticket doesn't make a difference for Bar admission C&F purposes, but maybe a large number of the same types of tickets might (admitted conjecture here - but I read at least that consistently getting petty infractions like speeding/moving violations can warrant deeper investigation).

Maybe I'm prematurely jaded from personal experience - but from what I've seen at the top firms, law is a brutal and unforgiving place if you actually want to stay in BigLaw for any length of time. Obviously, if you're in the 'stay until I pay my debts and then get out' camp, different standards of behavior apply.

Aside: I also don't think weddings are as big a deal as some do here, which probably played into a misalignment of values - there's no 'right' answer, it's all about personal preferences, etc. - but my view (and my SO, thankfully) is that it was more important to have a light dealie we could have fun with than go all-in on a super formal, super stressful big event.

[DoubleChecks]

See above edit.

[AVBucks4239]

Seriously really excited for Minions this summer, though.

[AVBucks4239]

I also have 9 years experience working in the legal field with a number of Biglaw firms as my day-to-day clients, as opposed to, what, generally 1-3 years in a single firm's culture that the 'experienced' greybeards here usually boast? Bitch, please.

Ah, so your observations from the outside give you credibility for how things actually work? No.

Please stop giving bad advice.

In all seriousness, I will (1) give you twenty million dollars, (2) buy you a lottery ticket every day for the rest of your life, and (3) cut my dick off and sew it to my forehead if anybody at Married Dude's firm gives a single fuck that he takes a day off for HIS OWN WEDDING.

Cunt, please.

Okay, I think we've strayed a bit now. I thought OP was talking about taking a day off....after July 4th weekend, an extra day, to celebrate an anniversary.

Nah, some dude getting married derailed this thread into the shitshow it became and now we should probably turn our aspie anger and passive aggressiveness towards him.

[TLSModBot]

Seriously really excited for Minions this summer, though.

Shit yes. Despicable Me is my jam.

Also: "Aspie Anger and the Passive Aggressives" is going to be my new alt-rock band name.

[DoubleChecks]

I also have 9 years experience working in the legal field with a number of Biglaw firms as my day-to-day clients, as opposed to, what, generally 1-3 years in a single firm's culture that the 'experienced' greybeards here usually boast? Bitch, please.

Ah, so your observations from the outside give you credibility for how things actually work? No.

Please stop giving bad advice.

In all seriousness, I will (1) give you twenty million dollars, (2) buy you a lottery ticket every day for the rest of your life, and (3) cut my dick off and sew it to my forehead if anybody at Married Dude's firm gives a single fuck that he takes a day off for HIS OWN WEDDING.

Cunt, please.

Okay, I think we've strayed a bit now. I thought OP was talking about taking a day off....after July 4th weekend, an extra day, to celebrate an anniversary.

Nah, some dude getting married derailed this thread into the shitshow it became and now we should probably turn our aspie anger and passive aggressiveness towards him.

Haha sorry, just caught on.

Yeah, taking a day or two off to get MARRIED during your SA is definitely okay...and whether one could have or should have planned around it, I personally wouldn't have cared as an associate. I mean a person is getting married and its just an SA, not like some huge legal deal that actually would be affecting lots of people and tons are counting on you to be there and you had a lot of advance notice...and even then, for a wedding...lol.

[Anonymous User]

but my view (and my SO, thankfully) is that it was more important to have a light dealie we could have fun with than go all-in on a super formal, super stressful big event.

Original married dude here. Because this thread has gone off the deep end, I'll add some levity--you and your S.O probably got it right. Not the case on my end (and not the case with my S.O.), but no time to go back now! Well there is, but that's an entirely different story

[sublime]

..

[skers]

It isn't a big a deal and no one really cares what summers do. As for long-lasting effects, lol. I'd be surprised if anyone even remembers the day off half-way through the summer. It's shitty solely for the fact you don't get to enjoy your wedding as much as you would otherwise w/r/t taking time off and a honeymoon and all that, but the 10 week interview stuff and blowback inferences here are hilarious.