Biglaw Bonus Watch (2013) Forum

[stillwater]

K&E bonus memo just dropped:

TO: The fucking sons-of-bitches at KIRKLAND & ELLIS LLP

FR: Uncle Weymouth

RE: MARKET SHATTERING BONUSES

CLASS OF 2012: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2011: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2010: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2009: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2008: SHATTERS THE MARKET

CLASS OF 2007: YOU'RE A PARTNER

classic

[thesealocust]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

Formula: Number of bonus mentions = Number of partners you made last year/7.

[Big Shrimpin]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

But it's just so funny dooder.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

But it's just so funny dooder.

TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.

[stillwater]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

But it's just so funny dooder.

TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.

they haven't run their course. im pretty sure i heard credible rumors of STB to 190 recently. CREDIBLE

[84651846190]

Also posted like a dozen times ITT?

But it's just so funny dooder.

TBF since the NY to 190 and Skadden DOUBLES flames have long since run their course, there hasn't been a whole lot of new material.

they haven't run their course. im pretty sure i heard credible rumors of STB to 190 recently. CREDIBLE

Stop it.

[thesealocust]

NY TO 190!

[09042014]

NY TO 190!

NY will NEVER get to 190. EVER EVER

[thesealocust]

NY TO 190!

NY to 190!

WOOOOOO!

[keg411]

Needs moar QUINN REMAINS jokes.

[Big Shrimpin]

Needs moar QUINN REMAINS jokes.

Oceans rise

Cities fall

QUINN remains

[Anonymous User]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

[Anonymous User]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys

/fixed

[Big Shrimpin]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys

/fixed

HAH!

[echooo23]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

For real?

[TTRansfer]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys

/fixed

Well played.

[Anonymous User]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190,000 attorneys

/fixed

It would solve the legal unemployment problem!

[Big Shrimpin]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

For real?

I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.

[Anonymous User]

I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.

[Anonymous User]

I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.

DLA drive-thru windows are poppin up in DROVES

[Old Gregg]

I can confirm that when firm gives internal presentations about the market featuring a scatter plot of firms based on the variables of PRESTIGE and complexity of work, DLA Piper is one of the firms it places in the TTT/Massive/commoditized/non-peer category

Actually almost cracked up at the absurdity of the chart came up during the presentation.

To be fair, I've got no bones against dla piper as a firm. It knows its place and its partners are making bank. I'd rather be an equity partner at dla piper any day (though maybe not in their Kandahar office) than an associate in S&C. Yeah, the partners are not making crazy money like S&C partners, but I wouldn't be surprised if the life was better. Good life+$500-$700k... not much you can ask for.

But associates? If you're thinking of going to DLA Piper, then beware.

[Blindmelon]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

For real?

I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.

Given that DLA does not even pay market (160) for all new associates, this is a really stupid joke.

[Old Gregg]

i gotta post this anon to protect my source but Jan 3, DLA Piper to 190

For real?

I'm going to need a verification that the source has been vetted.

Given that DLA does not even pay market (160) for all new associates, this is a really stupid joke.

I thought it was awesome because at least one person seemed to have fell for it. But before that? Yeah, stupid joke.

[Big Shrimpin]

yEah i was Not serious, Just stOking the flame Yo. It haD potentiaL And PossIbly could have PiquEd some aspie inteRest.