2021 End of Year Bonuses Forum

[Anonymous User]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

[Wanderingdrock]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

[Poldy]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

I don't know about any state taxes, but at the federal level it doesn't really matter. Unless you have other income, you will be in the second highest tax bracket from year 1 through the end of year 8.

[rokiv]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

This is a bad take, the fact that tax brackets change aside, whether you’re a first year or a second (or a third for that matter) your bonus is going to be taxed at the same marginal tax rate. All income over roughly $209,000 is taxed at 35% under brackets for 2021 (the next bracket doesn’t start till over 500k). In short, if your being paid at current market numbers, your tax liability as a percentage of your income is likely not affected much by whether you’re a first or whatever year when your bonus is paid.

[Anonymous User]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

I don't know about any state taxes, but at the federal level it doesn't really matter. Unless you have other income, you will be in the second highest tax bracket from year 1 through the end of year 8.

Gets a bit more complicated if you're married and/or have credits/deductions. For married joint filers it's 24% until ~330 then 32% after. I can see that hitting annoyingly.

[Anonymous User]

Something nobody has mentioned yet—my bonus is usually subject to withholding at almost 50%. If you receive your bonus by the end of the year, you would be filing for a refund in about 4 months, but if you receive it by the beginning of next year, you essentially have to wait 16 months to claim your refund. So all things equal (as other posters noted), it is significantly worse to get it at the beginning of next year.

[Barrred]

Less tax-law discussion, more rampant bonus speculation. Anyone expect first-movers announcing EOY bonus numbers by the end of next week?

[Anonymous User]

You want some rampant speculation? Here's some rampant speculation.

1st Year $25,000
2nd Year $50,000
3rd Year $75,000
4th Year $90,000
5th Year $115,000
6th Year $135,000
7th+ $150,000

[ChairmanKaga]

$20k (from $15k)
$40k (from $25k)
$75k (from $50k)
$100k (from $65k)
$115k (from $80k)
$125k (from $90k)
$135k (from $100k)

[MrTooToo]

Less tax-law discussion, more rampant bonus speculation. Anyone expect first-movers announcing EOY bonus numbers by the end of next week?

Above the Law does a great write-up on this (when bonus announcements occur) going all the way back to 2006. The dates range from as early as October 29 (in 2007) (wtf) to as late as December 11 (in 2006) (again, wtf)--2015 was almost as late with a date of December 7. If you look at all the data, the most common time to get the first announcement is actually right around Thanksgiving, plus or minus a few days. (The overwhelming majority of the time it's Cravath that makes the first announcement.)

I guess this is all to say that there's a lot of uncertainty about when this happens. I think people are eager to hear the news, of course, and there's some recency bias around the idea of it happening soon because in the last two years the first announcement did happen in the first two weeks of November. But there's nothing preventing it from not breaking until e.g., December 1.

Edit: Also, holy shit, Cravath was paying out $110k EoY bonuses to 7th years in 2007.

[Anonymous User]

$20k (from $15k)
$40k (from $25k)
$75k (from $50k)
$100k (from $65k)
$115k (from $80k)
$125k (from $90k)
$135k (from $100k)

LETS GO MILBANK

[Anonymous User]

Less tax-law discussion, more rampant bonus speculation. Anyone expect first-movers announcing EOY bonus numbers by the end of next week?

Above the Law does a great write-up on this (when bonus announcements occur) going all the way back to 2006. The dates range from as early as October 29 (in 2007) (wtf) to as late as December 11 (in 2006) (again, wtf)--2015 was almost as late with a date of December 7. If you look at all the data, the most common time to get the first announcement is actually right around Thanksgiving, plus or minus a few days. (The overwhelming majority of the time it's Cravath that makes the first announcement.)

I guess this is all to say that there's a lot of uncertainty about when this happens. I think people are eager to hear the news, of course, and there's some recency bias around the idea of it happening soon because in the last two years the first announcement did happen in the first two weeks of November. But there's nothing preventing it from not breaking until e.g., December 1.

Edit: Also, holy shit, Cravath was paying out $110k EoY bonuses to 7th years in 2007.

Old school was wait for Cravath to go just after Thanksgiving. But the new school is much earlier - the last two years have been 11/11 and 11/7 for the first announcements. I bet someone goes next week.

[Anonymous User]

Major Lindsay is a somewhat respectable shop. Let’s hope Summer didn’t say this just as a clickbait:

https://abovethelaw.com/2021/11/how-muc ... n-bonuses/

[Wanderingdrock]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

This is a bad take, the fact that tax brackets change aside, whether you’re a first year or a second (or a third for that matter) your bonus is going to be taxed at the same marginal tax rate. All income over roughly $209,000 is taxed at 35% under brackets for 2021 (the next bracket doesn’t start till over 500k). In short, if your being paid at current market numbers, your tax liability as a percentage of your income is likely not affected much by whether you’re a first or whatever year when your bonus is paid.

For highly educated white collar professionals, y'all have weird misunderstandings of how taxes work. I'm married, so my tax brackets have dividing lines somewhere under $200k and over $300k. And... am I mistaken in thinking y'all aren't taking any deductions into account? A first year is making significantly less than $200k in taxable income if they're dumping money into their 401(k) and HSA, paying insurance pre-tax, and whatever else. It won't matter every year, but the marginal rates on your bonus absolutely matter some years for some people. Though, as I said, you're likely to get some advantage back on the last bonus you collect.

But EDITING TO PROVIDE MY RAMPANT SPECULATION:

First mover will just match 2021's EOY and make a simultaneous spring bonus announcement, hinting at fall bonuses to come. Second or third mover will then come in over the top with a modest EOY bonus bump, and spring bonus announcement at 2021's level with hints at fall to come. A new mover will then jump them, bumping EOY even slightly higher, and announcing spring AND fall bonuses to match 2021's.

[Anonymous User]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

This is a bad take, the fact that tax brackets change aside, whether you’re a first year or a second (or a third for that matter) your bonus is going to be taxed at the same marginal tax rate. All income over roughly $209,000 is taxed at 35% under brackets for 2021 (the next bracket doesn’t start till over 500k). In short, if your being paid at current market numbers, your tax liability as a percentage of your income is likely not affected much by whether you’re a first or whatever year when your bonus is paid.

For highly educated white collar professionals, y'all have weird misunderstandings of how taxes work. I'm married, so my tax brackets have dividing lines somewhere under $200k and over $300k. And... am I mistaken in thinking y'all aren't taking any deductions into account? A first year is making significantly less than $200k in taxable income if they're dumping money into their 401(k) and HSA, paying insurance pre-tax, and whatever else. It won't matter every year, but the marginal rates on your bonus absolutely matter some years for some people. Though, as I said, you're likely to get some advantage back on the last bonus you collect.

But EDITING TO PROVIDE MY RAMPANT SPECULATION:

First mover will just match 2021's EOY and make a simultaneous spring bonus announcement, hinting at fall bonuses to come. Second or third mover will then come in over the top with a modest EOY bonus bump, and spring bonus announcement at 2021's level with hints at fall to come. A new mover will then jump them, bumping EOY even slightly higher, and announcing spring AND fall bonuses to match 2021's.

In my wildest dreams and fantasies

[Anonymous User]

Cannot understand the Scrooge mentality of places that wouldn't pay out a year end bonus until several months into the next year; it sounds like it would be a complete mood killer for the holidays to be like "yes, I will receive my bonus around Easter." Kirkland announces bonuses mid-to-late December (usually the week before Christmas) and the money is in your bank account before New Year's Eve.

Not defending the practice, but for some it's based on the fiscal year. My V25's coincides with the calendar year, and a big chunk of the firm's cash comes in during December. The firm is (probably overly) conservative, so they pay out at the bonuses with the next paycheck following the end of the FY.

It is worse for taxes, sucks to see peers get bonuses much earlier, and screws us over if we want to lateral and get a full bonus the next year. However, I at least understand where the partners are coming from. March is objectively unreasonable, though.

It’s worse all around - but isn’t it better for taxes? As someone else said ITT, Kirkland pays on 12/31 (or 12/30) and I kinda wish it was 1/2 instead so that I’d get an extra year before I had to pay taxes on it. (It’s never withheld at a high enough rate)

It's worse for taxes in the sense that you get your bonus when you're in the next salary range up (e.g., 1st year bonus is paid when you're getting paid as a 2nd year, 2nd as a 3rd, etc.) so you may end up paying taxes on your bonus in a higher bracket than you would have had you received it the previous calendar year. Of course, if you stick around for your last bonus and then quit right after getting it to go in-house or to the government, you end up paying substantially less on that last bonus, so maybe it cancels out.

This is a bad take, the fact that tax brackets change aside, whether you’re a first year or a second (or a third for that matter) your bonus is going to be taxed at the same marginal tax rate. All income over roughly $209,000 is taxed at 35% under brackets for 2021 (the next bracket doesn’t start till over 500k). In short, if your being paid at current market numbers, your tax liability as a percentage of your income is likely not affected much by whether you’re a first or whatever year when your bonus is paid.

For highly educated white collar professionals, y'all have weird misunderstandings of how taxes work. I'm married, so my tax brackets have dividing lines somewhere under $200k and over $300k. And... am I mistaken in thinking y'all aren't taking any deductions into account? A first year is making significantly less than $200k in taxable income if they're dumping money into their 401(k) and HSA, paying insurance pre-tax, and whatever else. It won't matter every year, but the marginal rates on your bonus absolutely matter some years for some people. Though, as I said, you're likely to get some advantage back on the last bonus you collect.

But EDITING TO PROVIDE MY RAMPANT SPECULATION:

First mover will just match 2021's EOY and make a simultaneous spring bonus announcement, hinting at fall bonuses to come. Second or third mover will then come in over the top with a modest EOY bonus bump, and spring bonus announcement at 2021's level with hints at fall to come. A new mover will then jump them, bumping EOY even slightly higher, and announcing spring AND fall bonuses to match 2021's.

I'm warming up to the idea posted a couple pages back that they're not going to bother announcing fall bonuses in any specific way. Why tie their hands to something 9-10 months out given all the economic uncertainty still associated with the COVID recovery. I think it's more likely we'll get EoY + Spring and then very vague language hinting about possibly more comp. in the fall.

[Anonymous User]

I’m convinced the first mover is going to go above the prior EOY scale. I’m a 7th year and I have never seen a more palpable sense of anger at the workload and lost nights/weekends by every single associate I interact with at my V20-30. Over half the associates in my group quit this calendar year already. Most of whom are left are already planning exit strategy for spring. If Firms don’t make it up to associates in compensation from these record profits and the low morale among associates, then they are going to lose the midlevels and seniors. Would be great time to be an in-house recruiter.

[Anonymous User]

I’m convinced the first mover is going to go above the prior EOY scale. I’m a 7th year and I have never seen a more palpable sense of anger at the workload and lost nights/weekends by every single associate I interact with at my V20-30. Over half the associates in my group quit this calendar year already. Most of whom are left are already planning exit strategy for spring. If Firms don’t make it up to associates in compensation from these record profits and the low morale among associates, then they are going to lose the midlevels and seniors. Would be great time to be an in-house recruiter.

I'm seeing a similar phenomenon in my V50. We've had a good amount of associates in my M&A/CAPM group leave - more or less equal split between in-house and lateral moves - but more concerning is the amount of midlevels/senior associates who have been very open about their plans to leave (who are engaging recruiters, putting out feelers, etc. right now).

It's going to take a good chunk of change to convince even the people who aren't vocal about leaving to stick around for the better part of next year. Like many others, this year has taken so much from me and put a significant strain on my family, mental health and physical health.

[TigerIsBack]

But more importantly...will today be the day? Thursday feels like a nice day for an announcement.

I don't think the first mover will match last year's scale, I think we'll see someone like Milbank set a new scale higher than last year, and either folks will match or someone like DPW will increase that scale.

[cornerstone]

Yet another day without a Mintz associate to confirm if they got this year's retention bonuses. At this point I think it's safe to assume they didn't and are too ashamed to admit it.

[Anonymous User]

But more importantly...will today be the day? Thursday feels like a nice day for an announcement.

I don't think the first mover will match last year's scale, I think we'll see someone like Milbank set a new scale higher than last year, and either folks will match or someone like DPW will increase that scale.

I would put all of my money on next Friday.

[rgn122000]

But more importantly...will today be the day? Thursday feels like a nice day for an announcement.

I don't think the first mover will match last year's scale, I think we'll see someone like Milbank set a new scale higher than last year, and either folks will match or someone like DPW will increase that scale.

I would put all of my money on next Friday.

I'll take that bet. Next Thursday is my bet.

[Anonymous User]

I’m convinced the first mover is going to go above the prior EOY scale. I’m a 7th year and I have never seen a more palpable sense of anger at the workload and lost nights/weekends by every single associate I interact with at my V20-30. Over half the associates in my group quit this calendar year already. Most of whom are left are already planning exit strategy for spring. If Firms don’t make it up to associates in compensation from these record profits and the low morale among associates, then they are going to lose the midlevels and seniors. Would be great time to be an in-house recruiter.

I'm seeing a similar phenomenon in my V50. We've had a good amount of associates in my M&A/CAPM group leave - more or less equal split between in-house and lateral moves - but more concerning is the amount of midlevels/senior associates who have been very open about their plans to leave (who are engaging recruiters, putting out feelers, etc. right now).

It's going to take a good chunk of change to convince even the people who aren't vocal about leaving to stick around for the better part of next year. Like many others, this year has taken so much from me and put a significant strain on my family, mental health and physical health.

I think everyone here is too focused on retention. Of course retention is extremely important and may be half (or more) of the reason for EOY bonuses or any special bonuses, but let's not forget that even for associates who aren't actively looking to leave, larger EOY bonuses serve as a morale boost that makes them feel appreciated and part of the "team" as partner comp skyrockets year after year, and likely increases work quality/attitudes. I have no plans to leave my V10 as a senior corp associate but I sure as hell will work a little harder and a little better throughout the year if EOY bonuses are huge given the resentment and burnout I'm feeling now.

Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous User]

I think everyone here is too focused on retention. Of course retention is extremely important and may be half (or more) of the reason for EOY bonuses or any special bonuses, but let's not forget that even for associates who aren't actively looking to leave, larger EOY bonuses serve as a morale boost that makes them feel appreciated and part of the "team" as partner comp skyrockets year after year, and likely increases work quality/attitudes. I have no plans to leave my V10 as a senior corp associate but I sure as hell will work a little harder and a little better throughout the year if EOY bonuses are huge given the resentment and burnout I'm feeling now.

Just my 2 cents.

That is quite literally what retention is... retention is more effective IMO when it is proactive, not reactive.

[Anonymous User]

I think everyone here is too focused on retention. Of course retention is extremely important and may be half (or more) of the reason for EOY bonuses or any special bonuses, but let's not forget that even for associates who aren't actively looking to leave, larger EOY bonuses serve as a morale boost that makes them feel appreciated and part of the "team" as partner comp skyrockets year after year, and likely increases work quality/attitudes. I have no plans to leave my V10 as a senior corp associate but I sure as hell will work a little harder and a little better throughout the year if EOY bonuses are huge given the resentment and burnout I'm feeling now.

Just my 2 cents.

That is quite literally what retention is... retention is more effective IMO when it is proactive, not reactive.

It's quite literally not what retention means. Retention is about retaining people (i.e., not having them leave the firm), whereas the previous post is about making those who will stay regardless work harder/be happier.

I, for one, am sticking around for my paychecks until the partners tell me to leave (or promote me), but raising comp/bonuses still has an impact on me by encouraging me to work harder/more. That's not retention, bruh.

Edit: grammar.