How to not quit Forum

[Anonymous User]

Also associates are way more dependent on partners' goodwill than the other way around, and depending on the partner's and your standings at the firm, telling them to cut it out isn't going to be a great path to career success.

Depends on your group and who the associate is. If you’re a PE associate at Kirkland, the partner doesn’t need you.

If you’re a top performing associate in a smaller group (but large enough you can avoid work from that partner), the leverage can shift. Partners always want the top associates on their deals, not only for clients, but because it makes their lives easier.

Sure, which is why I said “depending on your and the partner’s standing.” Do you think that even a top associate is going to have much success getting the screamer to stop yelling, or just in not having to work with them? (Honest question, not rhetorical.)

OP here: How hard would it be to say formally, I do not want to work with this specific person anymore? Not a rainmaker, and others have way more than enough work to fill my plate. But I'm sure this would make me not seem like a team player and the firm may not react well.

At my firm, there were a few partners who were notoriously awful. Everyone knew who they were, including the other partners. If an associate brought up not wanting to work with them to partners/management, it was obvious why. It's not a secret which partners are terrible to associates. I think this is pretty common at every other firm with bad partners.

My advice would be to try to talk to other associates who you trust about how to handle it. There was a rainmaker at my firm who caused several associates to leave because she was so terrible, yet management never did anything about it because, well, there was always a revolving door of associates for her to make miserable. I reached a breaking point with her and talked openly and honestly about it with a partner who I trust and who had a lot of sway in assigning work, which is what an associate/friend recommended. The matter I was on with the partner was close to settling, so I was asked to see the case through settlement and then I wouldn't have to work with her again. It worked fine (because the client was very happy with us), but I was also planning to leave (and did leave) the firm shortly after. I know of several other associates who complained about her and were eventually taken off matters with her.

I understand that this is not always a possible solution and sometimes you just have to deal with it or leave. It's also not always the best idea if you want to stay at a firm long-term.

Being open and honest in a professional and productive way is probably the best course of action, so a frank discussion is usually a smart, but ultimately everyone at a firm is human and can be irrational. At my old firm there was a partner who was notorious for yelling and belittling people, as were the senior associates he trained up, and I was routinely on that team. I finally had a discussion where I politely said that angry, belittling language was making it harder to do the job and really increasing the stress level. After that he was super icy to me. A partner I had a better relationship with told me later that I was, unofficially, not supposed to be staffed on his deals anymore. A blessing if anything, but I know that it was issue for the staffing team trying to move associates around on deals. I left the firm, so in a sense it all turned out for the best, but in terms of career lessons it's my own cautionary tale about whether some people are capable of having these kinds of discussions at all.