Total detachment from classmates when employment situation is uncertain? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Posting about callbacks on facebook is such an asshole move. I've only seen one person from my school do that and it was so cringey. I'm sorry your classmates are doing that

[Anonymous User]

The interview and callback week will bring out the worst qualities in law students. It's just the way it is.

[Johann]

it seems impossible, but the best advice is to enjoy your friends' successes with them. surround yourself with them more. it will help you relax.

you are in the pre- first step of your career that has limitless opportunities ahead of you that you couldn't even imagine if you tried. plenty of people get biglaw who strike out in OCI and 3L hiring. plenty of people have very fulfilling, financially lucrative, successful careers that never work a day in biglaw. you haven't even graduated school yet.

[Anonymous User]

Posting about callbacks on facebook is such an asshole move. I've only seen one person from my school do that and it was so cringey. I'm sorry your classmates are doing that

yeah, this.

I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's really not cool, and that kind of behavior is something people remember for a long time.

I know which people in the classes ahead of mine were extra-douchey about jobs. But I have never heard anyone say a single negative word about someone "striking out" or looking for a job through the fall/winter. Rather the opposite, a lot of people who had trouble finding jobs are really well-liked and respected.

It will be okay, I promise. It's hard right now and it hurts. I get that. But your friends love you and your friends are not judging you right now.

[Anonymous User]

bumping this. feeling pretty low today.

[zot1]

Time for a plan of action:

What should you do next? Still wanna go firm route?

Then look into networking, massmailing, hitting up alumni, etc.

Don't wanna go the firm route? What do you need to gather for other fields?

[encore1101]

OP, I think this is similar enough, but I spent 4 years in the military after undergrad, and my friends were one of the worst parts about it. While I was making like, $20k a year, they were making $75k-$100k. When I was in the middle of Bumfuck-nowhere, Iraq, my friends were getting married, having kids, or buying houses. I came out of the military with no real translatable skills, not that much money to my name, and not having had a relationship in the entire time (every time I met someone, oops, gotta deploy or go on a 2 month training op).

There were absolutely times I felt like shit, and, like you, I withdrew from my friends. It got so bad that I did not attend one of my best friend's wedding, because I didn't want to hear "Oh so what are you plans now?" (had none), "what are you doing with your life?" (no idea), "where are you living?" (back home with the parents at 27).

It took me a while to realize that most of my close friends genuinely wanted the best for me. None of them were pleased that I was in a bad place. At worst, they were neutral, but most wanted me to do well, but nobody wanted to see me actually fail.

Happiness is not a zero-sum product. Their happiness does not have to affect your well-being. I understand why it does because you can't help but compare yourself to them, but understand that nobody wants to see you fail. Shit, we're a bunch of anonymous internet people who don't even know you, and we want you to be well.

Anyway, my point is, it's perfectly normal to feel the way you do, and all this stuff now ("I got an offer!") really doesn't matter in the long run. Nobody is going to remember who got an offer when in two years, and even if they do, they're an idiot if they infer some deeper implication behind it.

[tyroneslothrop1]

Yeah it sucks but you need to buck up. I talked a lot of shit w/ my best friend 1L about how we were going to crush NY biglaw. He lands V10 - I strike out. Wasn't fun but you have to get over it. I ended up at a job in my secondary city hometown making pretty much half dat 180K and you know what, I'm pretty happy.

[Genius]

I'm in the same boat. Most of the people that I have talked to offered to help with mock interviews and get me in touch with their connections. Definitely don't isolate yourself.

It's bad for mental health and it's bad for finding the job.

I definitely wouldn't spread the news wide either because there are definitely people who think less of you for not getting an offer in the first round. But such tools identify themselves from a mile away.

So much this. Ppl are more compassionate and empathetic than you think. I helped all my close friends use whatever connection I had.

[Anonymous User]

Posting about callbacks on facebook is such an asshole move. I've only seen one person from my school do that and it was so cringey. I'm sorry your classmates are doing that

No way. Who does this?? Id be so embarrassed for them.

[ruski]

Posting about callbacks on facebook is such an asshole move. I've only seen one person from my school do that and it was so cringey. I'm sorry your classmates are doing that

No way. Who does this?? Id be so embarrassed for them.

just wait until you graduate. then you have to deal with weekly posts that are some variation of "4AM and just got home - just another day at the office"

[zot1]

Posting about callbacks on facebook is such an asshole move. I've only seen one person from my school do that and it was so cringey. I'm sorry your classmates are doing that

No way. Who does this?? Id be so embarrassed for them.

just wait until you graduate. then you have to deal with weekly posts that are some variation of "4AM and just got home - just another day at the office"

So much this.

Actually, most people posting about their new BMWs, club seats, and sailing trips over the summer, hardly go on Facebook anymore. They gone.

[Anonymous User]

I relate so much to this except I have felt like isolating myself earlier on than that as I realized people seemed to get more interviews, better grades, etc. It just reminds me of how I could have done better or something. In my experience, it helps to see the big picture. Try to ignore everyone else's situations and make the most out of your situation. Even striking out, life is not over. You will get a job, and you will probably even get paid a good amount. I try to be the best version of myself I can be and that's all I can do. Try to take an outlook on life where you're at peace and happy, rather than bitter if your success comes more slowly. Hang in there. The road to success is not nearly as treacherous as you fear.