New associate fuck up thread (and tips for slacking) Forum

[baal hadad]

Johann you need to do a biglaw slacking advice thread

I don't know much and whatever I know I learned from DF. Everything I would say is rather intuitive I just have the balls or apathy to go for it. But I'm sure if you started a thread, DF me and Los blancos would participate. I believe both had less hours than me at September hours check.

Where is the hours check thread?

[Anonymous User]

I'm just a new associate, but regarding DZ's story, I'd think the bigger issue would be lying to a partner. Anyone have any advice about how to learn what security lawyers actually do, and how it works? I have learned the fancy terms, but don't get the big picture.

[Danger Zone]

I'm just a new associate, but regarding DZ's story, I'd think the bigger issue would be lying to a partner.

Lying?

[Anonymous User]

Oh, from the context it seemed like you weren't actually bringing the work home. If that's not the case, I apologize. I'd think that going home when you have no work is at worst a tad disrespectful. I'd think that not being trusted is a game changer, because how would you get work if you're not trusted?

[Danger Zone]

A lot to unpack there but I don't want to make this thread about me.

Anyone else fuck up already?

[ditch digger]

Not me (honestly), but one associate in my firm miscalculated the SOL and let the client's claim become time-barred.

[brotherdarkness]

A lot to unpack there but I don't want to make this thread about me.

Anyone else fuck up already?

The usual smattering of typos, formatting mistakes, and so on. Plus I have no idea what I'm doing. So, yeah, I'm sure I've fucked up plenty. Oh well.

ETA - I'm also OP (accidental anon), so there's that.

[baal hadad]

Johann you need to do a biglaw slacking advice thread

I don't know much and whatever I know I learned from DF. Everything I would say is rather intuitive I just have the balls or apathy to go for it. But I'm sure if you started a thread, DF me and Los blancos would participate. I believe both had less hours than me at September hours check.

Where is the hours check thread?

I always just make a new one.

Oh the last one was in sept I see

I just missed the last 2 I guess

[dixiecupdrinking]

Not me (honestly), but one associate in my firm miscalculated the SOL and let the client's claim become time-barred.

Who would rely on a stub year associate to do this

[baal hadad]

I'm the second year associate, about to go into my third year, and if anything I feel like I fuck up more now

Getting more responsibility increases the opportunities to fuck things up

[Anonymous User]

(not that funny but i love this thread and look forward to contributing often)

Tried to conference in a partner to an existing call I was on with senior associate. Partner didn't answer. I could not hear his answering machine after I pressed the buttons on the phone to return to the existing. Ended up leaving this message on his phone:

Me: hey [senior associate] are you there??
Senior Associate: you know we are leaving a message on partner's phone?
Me: ummmm er um...do you want to?
Senior Associate: no we're fine, i'll send him an email



and for my next trick, I will make my career...disappear

[baal hadad]

(not that funny but i love this thread and look forward to contributing often)

Tried to conference in a partner to an existing call I was on with senior associate. Partner didn't answer. I could not hear his answering machine after I pressed the buttons on the phone to return to the existing. Ended up leaving this message on his phone:

Me: hey [senior associate] are you there??
Senior Associate: you know we are leaving a message on partner's phone?
Me: ummmm er um...do you want to?
Senior Associate: no we're fine, i'll send him an email



and for my next trick, I will make my career...disappear

Why is this a fuck up

[lawschoolftw]

I'm the second year associate, about to go into my third year, and if anything I feel like I fuck up more now

Getting more responsibility increases the opportunities to fuck things up

This.

[rpupkin]

(not that funny but i love this thread and look forward to contributing often)

Tried to conference in a partner to an existing call I was on with senior associate. Partner didn't answer. I could not hear his answering machine after I pressed the buttons on the phone to return to the existing. Ended up leaving this message on his phone:

Me: hey [senior associate] are you there??
Senior Associate: you know we are leaving a message on partner's phone?
Me: ummmm er um...do you want to?
Senior Associate: no we're fine, i'll send him an email



and for my next trick, I will make my career...disappear

You guys don't even know what a fuck up is.

[smaug]

Why are you billing so hard, bd?

[Danger Zone]

Also curious

[20160810]

Leaving the office at 5:30 once is a fuck-up? GTFO.

(1) Don't be wrong in research memos ever.
(2) Don't reinvent the wheel when you should be using templates and pleading and practice books.
(3) Don't send witty reply-alls unless that shit is legitimately hilarious.
(4) Don't wear suits on Friday.

Otherwise, you're fine.

[brotherdarkness]

My secretary and I are having a power struggle. I turned the thermostat down in my office (I like it cold); a little while later, my secretary comes in and says she's cold and asks if she can turn the temperature up. Apparently the cold air drifts out of my office. Anyway, I said fine and she turns it up.

The next weekend I'm in the office finishing up some work and get warm. Turn the AC down. Forget to turn it up. Following week, she comes in complaining that she's cold. I tell her to turn the thermostat up. She calls maintenance to check the temperature and while they're in my office she asks if they can put a locking device on the thermostat. I laugh, loudly. The maintenance people left without installing a lock. But LOL at her even asking about this while I sit there as if I'm not in the room!

Also, she hasn't added my name to her footer. All of the other secretaries appear to have added their new associates, but not mine. Don't want to seem petty by bringing it up, but it's been a month now.

[baal hadad]

My secretary and I are having a power struggle. I turned the thermostat down in my office (I like it cold); a little while later, my secretary comes in and says she's cold and asks if she can turn the temperature up. Apparently the cold air drifts out of my office. Anyway, I said fine and she turns it up.

The next weekend I'm in the office finishing up some work and get warm. Turn the AC down. Forget to turn it up. Following week, she comes in complaining that she's cold. I tell her to turn the thermostat up. She calls maintenance to check the temperature and while they're in my office she asks if they can put a locking device on the thermostat. I laugh, loudly. The maintenance people left without installing a lock. But LOL at her even asking about this while I sit there as if I'm not in the room!

Also, she hasn't added my name to her footer. All of the other secretaries appear to have added their new associates, but not mine. Don't want to seem petty by bringing it up, but it's been a month now.

Mine added me in like the first couple days

U can ask her

[baal hadad]

I sent the wrong answer to a partner who flipped it to a client who got mad at the partner who got mad at me.

How important was the answer

[baal hadad]

My secretary and I are having a power struggle. I turned the thermostat down in my office (I like it cold); a little while later, my secretary comes in and says she's cold and asks if she can turn the temperature up. Apparently the cold air drifts out of my office. Anyway, I said fine and she turns it up.

The next weekend I'm in the office finishing up some work and get warm. Turn the AC down. Forget to turn it up. Following week, she comes in complaining that she's cold. I tell her to turn the thermostat up. She calls maintenance to check the temperature and while they're in my office she asks if they can put a locking device on the thermostat. I laugh, loudly. The maintenance people left without installing a lock. But LOL at her even asking about this while I sit there as if I'm not in the room!

Also, she hasn't added my name to her footer. All of the other secretaries appear to have added their new associates, but not mine. Don't want to seem petty by bringing it up, but it's been a month now.

What is a footer?

Give her some work. If she is surly or doesn't do it. Freeze her out forever. Never give her a gift, etc. Give her bad yearly reviews. You don't really need a secretary anyway.

If you need one for some reason, just ask for a new one.

How do you not need a secretary?

I get mine to do a bunch of random stuff that the partners don't want to see on the bills (or want to see very little time on)

Like calling a judges assistant to ask about something mundane

[brotherdarkness]

Why are you billing so hard, bd?

Also curious

Pretty much entirely out of my control. People give me work, I do it. Been super slow the past couple of days tho, so I'm trying to enjoy the downtime while it lasts.

[rpupkin]

My secretary and I are having a power struggle. I turned the thermostat down in my office (I like it cold); a little while later, my secretary comes in and says she's cold and asks if she can turn the temperature up. Apparently the cold air drifts out of my office. Anyway, I said fine and she turns it up.

The next weekend I'm in the office finishing up some work and get warm. Turn the AC down. Forget to turn it up. Following week, she comes in complaining that she's cold. I tell her to turn the thermostat up. She calls maintenance to check the temperature and while they're in my office she asks if they can put a locking device on the thermostat. I laugh, loudly. The maintenance people left without installing a lock. But LOL at her even asking about this while I sit there as if I'm not in the room!

Also, she hasn't added my name to her footer. All of the other secretaries appear to have added their new associates, but not mine. Don't want to seem petty by bringing it up, but it's been a month now.

What is a footer?

Give her some work. If she is surly or doesn't do it. Freeze her out forever. Never give her a gift, etc. Give her bad yearly reviews. You don't really need a secretary anyway.

If you need one for some reason, just ask for a new one.

I get where DF is coming from, but be careful with a "screw your secretary" strategy. If your secretary only works for worthless junior associates like yourself, then fine. But if she works for a key partner in your practice group (or even if she is just generally well-liked by partners in your group), then you better find a way to play nice.

[smaug]

It's mainly the first week or two that baffles me. I get eventually falling into that groove, but 60+ right away seems absurd to me.

[baal hadad]

My secretary and I are having a power struggle. I turned the thermostat down in my office (I like it cold); a little while later, my secretary comes in and says she's cold and asks if she can turn the temperature up. Apparently the cold air drifts out of my office. Anyway, I said fine and she turns it up.

The next weekend I'm in the office finishing up some work and get warm. Turn the AC down. Forget to turn it up. Following week, she comes in complaining that she's cold. I tell her to turn the thermostat up. She calls maintenance to check the temperature and while they're in my office she asks if they can put a locking device on the thermostat. I laugh, loudly. The maintenance people left without installing a lock. But LOL at her even asking about this while I sit there as if I'm not in the room!

Also, she hasn't added my name to her footer. All of the other secretaries appear to have added their new associates, but not mine. Don't want to seem petty by bringing it up, but it's been a month now.

What is a footer?

Give her some work. If she is surly or doesn't do it. Freeze her out forever. Never give her a gift, etc. Give her bad yearly reviews. You don't really need a secretary anyway.

If you need one for some reason, just ask for a new one.

I get where DF is coming from, but be careful with a "screw your secretary" strategy. If your secretary only works for worthless junior associates like yourself, then fine. But if she works for a key partner in your practice group (or even if she is just generally well-liked by partners in your group), then you better find a way to play nice.

Also this