Lawyers tell you how to get no offered. Forum

[exitoptions]

I know someone who tried to accept all the assignments on the firm's electronic assignment system. Then they went on a binge of all nighters trying to finish them, but ended up just being crazy. Big fat no offer.

[El Pollito]

Make your cocaine habit obvious.

[cdelgado]

I know someone who tried to accept all the assignments on the firms electronic assignment system. Then they went on a binge of all nighters trying to finish them, but ended up just being crazy. Big fat no offer.

Classic. I know too many people who would do this.

[rickgrimes69]

Call up opposing counsel and offer to settle.

[IAFG]

I know someone who tried to accept all the assignments on the firms electronic assignment system. Then they went on a binge of all nighters trying to finish them, but ended up just being crazy. Big fat no offer.

Try to stand out.

[bjsesq]

Call up opposing counsel and offer to settle.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

[exitoptions]

Call up opposing counsel and offer to settle.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

That's actually not as bad as calling the client to give them advice on their case.

[seespotrun]

For male SAs, get caught hanging out in the women's bathroom several times.

[Anonymous User]

Approach name partner and offer to open up a new office in a major city on the condition of being made partner as a first-year.

That summer was the only no-offer firm-wide that year.

I did not make that up.

[El Pollito]

Amazing.

[IAFG]

Call up opposing counsel and offer to settle.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

That's actually not as bad as calling the client to give them advice on their case.

This is apparently not rare, I heard of another summer jumping in on a call to share their insights.

[IAFG]

Approach name partner and offer to open up a new office in a major city on the condition of being made partner as a first-year.

That summer was the only no-offer firm-wide that year.

I did not make that up.

MUST be a trust fund baby with no interest otherwise in working at a firm.... right?

[Anonymous User]

Approach name partner and offer to open up a new office in a major city on the condition of being made partner as a first-year.

That summer was the only no-offer firm-wide that year.

I did not make that up.

MUST be a trust fund baby with no interest otherwise in working at a firm.... right?

Nope. Just an unfortunate combination of ambition and an acute lack of perspective.

By SA standards, this person did have an unusually large number of legit business contacts in the city in which he wanted to open up an office. It was still crazy, though.

[09042014]

Approach name partner and offer to open up a new office in a major city on the condition of being made partner as a first-year.

That summer was the only no-offer firm-wide that year.

I did not make that up.

MUST be a trust fund baby with no interest otherwise in working at a firm.... right?

I could Mercy and Moug thinking that was a good idea.

[rickgrimes69]

Call up opposing counsel and offer to settle.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

Nope. One of my profs last semester, a partner at a V20, told us how he had to no-offer / fire someone who did this.

[Stinson]

SA sits in on conference call with male partner and associate, also waiting on a female partner who happens to be very attractive. Male partner asks whether they should wait for female partner to begin the call, because she is running late. SA cups her own breasts with her hands and says, "That depends, is it a video conference?"

[Nebby]

Mail joke letters on firm letterhead. Get address wrong so it's returned to the mall room.

This happen?

[rpupkin]

SA sits in on conference call with male partner and associate, also waiting on a female partner who happens to be very attractive. Male partner asks whether they should wait for female partner to begin the call, because she is running late. SA cups her own breasts with her hands and says, "That depends, is it a video conference?"

This story would be easier to appreciate if we had pics of the female partner. I'd like to see pics of the SA as well, but I understand that those might be harder to find.

[NYSprague]

Mail joke letters on firm letterhead. Get address wrong so it's returned to the mall room.

This happen?

I think it was a cease and desist to a friend sent as a prank and it got returned to the managing clerk. Not sure of exact details.

[worldtraveler]

Post confidential case information on facebook, causing a mistrial.

[suzige]

SA sits in on conference call with male partner and associate, also waiting on a female partner who happens to be very attractive. Male partner asks whether they should wait for female partner to begin the call, because she is running late. SA cups her own breasts with her hands and says, "That depends, is it a video conference?"

...has this story been shared before elsewhere...? why do i know this story...

[El Pollito]

Post confidential case information on facebook, causing a mistrial.

Holy shit.

[09042014]

Post confidential case information on facebook, causing a mistrial.

175

[worldtraveler]

Post confidential case information on facebook, causing a mistrial.

Holy shit.

Supposively a Berkeley student did this a few years ago. Or it might just be a story the CDO told to scare us.

[ChardPennington]

Mail joke letters on firm letterhead. Get address wrong so it's returned to the mall room.

I have confirmed with Chad that he addressed the letter correctly, but the intended recipient was out of town, causing his apartment mailbox to be full at the time that the Cease and Desist letter regarding persistent elevator farting was mailed. Curiously, the letter was returned to sender instead of sent to the post office for pickup. Less curiously, Chad's summer employer was nonplussed.

ETA: Chad was assured, credibly, that his no-offer was due to the economic condition of the firm, and the subsequent semi-implosion of the firm would appear to bolster this explanation. Nevertheless, the farting-relating C&D letter, along with a few similar faux pauxs, make Chad consider to this day whether he would have received an offer even if the firm were in sterling economic health.