"if you want to be a successful lawyer, don't get married." Forum

[Julio_El_Chavo]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again." I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.

(Ebeneezer Scrooge)

[homestyle28]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again." I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.

If you can't figure out how to work this out or how to communicate expectations, your marriage is doomed regardless of what you do. That you get irritated by explaining what Law review is means 1) you bring up law review with your non-lawyer/law school friends, which makes you sound like a dick and 2) you're going to have loads of fun working with clients, good thing you're hard wired for biglaw

also, nice use of the anon feature

[Anonymous User]

or maybe people should marry someone who cares enough about them to listen about Law Review and have brains to research stuff on their own and don't need things explained to them 20 times. someone with a little patience wouldn't hurt, either.

if you marry the right person, even in moments where they are upset and might resent you a little, they will quickly realize how grateful they are for you. no one is perfect, and life isn't easy. marry someone who will stick it out with you and see you as more than a lawyer.

[Danteshek]

I can say from first hand experience it is WONDERFUL to have a (preferably much younger) woman in your life you knows little and cares less about the law.

[fatduck]

If you can't figure out how to work this out or how to communicate expectations, your marriage is doomed regardless of what you do. That you get irritated by explaining what Law review is means 1) you bring up law review with your non-lawyer/law school friends, which makes you sound like a dick and 2) you're going to have loads of fun working with clients, good thing you're hard wired for biglaw

also, nice use of the anon feature

he has to be anon or annoying LAY PEOPLE will be asking him all the time for legal advice

[bk1]

I am a woman. I was meeting him about a possible internship.
This is a small corp law firm in NYC.

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again." I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.

Those plebes just don't understand how much 1 year of law school has enlightened you.

[Anonymous User]

As for clients, you've gotta do what you gotta do at work. I worked with "clients" before law school in another career. It's highly unlikely it would be a problem after law school. But having to adapt to a completely different lifestyle and way of thinking when not at work is something I would not be willing to handle. I am not willing to marry someone who does not understand what I am about. I don't think that's too much to ask.

In addition, quit acting like I am some kind of Martian. I saw quite a few marriages and long-term relationships implode during my first year of law school. It's something that happens quite often in the legal profession as well. All in all, marry another lawyer or someone in a similar career, or don't get married.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

All in all, marry another lawyer or someone in a similar career, or don't get married.

Yeah, this is terrible advice for some people.

[homestyle28]

If you can't figure out how to work this out or how to communicate expectations, your marriage is doomed regardless of what you do. That you get irritated by explaining what Law review is means 1) you bring up law review with your non-lawyer/law school friends, which makes you sound like a dick and 2) you're going to have loads of fun working with clients, good thing you're hard wired for biglaw

also, nice use of the anon feature

he has to be anon or annoying LAY PEOPLE will be asking him all the time for legal advice

Fuck his legal advice, I'm copying his marriage advice and turning it into a book.

"How to be an asshole and happily married" look for it on amazon.

[Icculus]

If you want to be a successful lawyer, only marry another lawyer or someone who lives a similar lifestyle -- like ibankers. Relating to non-lawyers is getting irritating and difficult after just one year of law school. I could not imagine years of marriage, given that Big Law is a lot more stressful and time-consuming than law school.

You sound unpleasant.

Or hard-wired for Big Law.

It does get irritating having to explain what Law Review is, and it would be equally irritating to have to explain why I couldn't pick the kids up at 5, or why I "missed dinner yet again."I'd say marry another lawyer, or don't get married. I am a guy, by the way. But the same is probably even more true for women.

If you can't figure out how to work this out or how to communicate expectations, your marriage is doomed regardless of what you do. 1) you bring up law review with your non-lawyer/law school friends, which makes you sound like a dick

also, nice use of the anon feature

You don't have to explain law review because you don't have to tell people about. From what I can gather, you bragged about law review, people didn't know what it was, you got pissed because you are clearly so much better than everyone else, and now you're bitching here.

Honestly, I don't think you need to worry about a wife and kids because you sound too insufferable for anyone to actually stay with long enough to become a wife and have kids. And why so anonymous? Are you afraid you'll out yourself with your insufferable attitude?

As for OP, I taught for several years and many of the people I worked with were married to professionals working 60 hour weeks. One teacher's wife was a partner at a big law firm and he basically took care of the kids and was with them over the summers. He loved it, loved being with the kids, and loved the fact that he was a second income and could play intramural hockey and not get yelled out by his wife. If you meet the right person you'll find a way to make it work because they will be understanding and will know what they're getting into.

[Icculus]

or maybe people should marry someone who cares enough about them to listen about Law Review and have brains to research stuff on their own and don't need things explained to them 20 times. someone with a little patience wouldn't hurt, either.

Is it really that big of a deal that a non lawyer didn't understand law review?

[Julio_El_Chavo]

From what I can gather, you bragged about law review, people didn't know what it was, you got pissed because you are clearly so much better than everyone else, and now you're bitching here.

[Anonymous User]

or maybe people should marry someone who cares enough about them to listen about Law Review and have brains to research stuff on their own and don't need things explained to them 20 times. someone with a little patience wouldn't hurt, either.

Is it really that big of a deal that a non lawyer didn't understand law review?

i don't think so, but i was just using his/her example.

[Icculus]

or maybe people should marry someone who cares enough about them to listen about Law Review and have brains to research stuff on their own and don't need things explained to them 20 times. someone with a little patience wouldn't hurt, either.

Is it really that big of a deal that a non lawyer didn't understand law review?

i don't think so, but i was just using his/her example.

Yeah, I am a bit confused with all the anon posting. But I think his example is idiotic.

[nouseforaname123]

You don't have to explain law review because you don't have to tell people about. From what I can gather, you bragged about law review, people didn't know what it was, you got pissed because you are clearly so much better than everyone else, and now you're bitching here.

I'm willing to bet $5 that his explanation of Law Review included the line: "Just like President Obama at Harvard."

(Yes, I've heard someone use that line.)

[homestyle28]

TBF, I left my wife after having to explain promissory estoppel to her...the judge was totally on my side

[Icculus]

TBF, I left my wife after having to explain promissory estoppel to her...the judge was totally on my side

HOW COULD SHE NOT UNDERSTAND PROMISSORY ESTOPPEL?!?!?! WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST LOOK IT UP?!?! Dude, way to dodge a bullet on that one. Next thing you know you would have been explaining what constitutes consideration. We couldn't have that.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

So statistically: If you're a woman and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who makes a lot more money than you. When push comes to shove and compromises have to be made, you will be the one that ends up downshifting. Ideally don't get married at all, because if you decide to have kids you will be the one that ends up downshifting. If you're a man and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who works a lot less than you. People marry for companionship, and when you're working 60 hours a week and she's working 40, she'll resent you for not being there the other 20. Do, however, get married to someone. Married men make more money, are seen as more stable and responsible, and live longer.

Professional couples tend to have low divorce rates. They don't have the time to sleep with their spouse much less with additional people on the side.

If you have more than two kids and your wife is a stay-at-home mom, she'll be working more than 60 hours a week. Trust me.

[homestyle28]

Seriously, I can't keep it up for a chick who can't explain the significance of Marbury v. Madison

[Perseus_I]

So statistically: If you're a woman and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who makes a lot more money than you. When push comes to shove and compromises have to be made, you will be the one that ends up downshifting. Ideally don't get married at all, because if you decide to have kids you will be the one that ends up downshifting. If you're a man and you want to be a successful lawyer, don't marry someone who works a lot less than you. People marry for companionship, and when you're working 60 hours a week and she's working 40, she'll resent you for not being there the other 20. Do, however, get married to someone. Married men make more money, are seen as more stable and responsible, and live longer.

Professional couples tend to have low divorce rates. They don't have the time to sleep with their spouse much less with additional people on the side.

If you have more than two kids and your wife is a stay-at-home mom, she'll be working more than 60 hours a week. Trust me.

....and resenting the fact that you're not there to help her take care of the kids. Trust me, I come from a long line of those types of families. Women with real careers are more interesting to talk to anyway. Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.

[Julio_El_Chavo]

....and resenting the fact that you're not there to help her take care of the kids. Trust me, I come from a long line of those types of families. Women with real careers are more interesting to talk to anyway. Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.

Wow, way to generalize. You obviously have a very specific set of attributes you look for in friends. Otherwise, you might have taken the effort to get to know the millions of women your age who actually want to be homemakers and enjoy it. Personally, I find professional women to be dull. They spend their entire lives trying to fit into a male-dominated profession and coarsen themselves in order to fit in to the point that they become more like men than real women. If I wanted to hang out with professional women, I might as well hang out with professional guys because they have the exact same personalities, goals, etc. It's refreshing to have a woman who is nurturing, caring, happy, etc. who can tell you stories about all the hilarious shit your kid did while you're at work. Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide. Also, I don't believe any of the people in this thread claiming that professional couples are less likely to divorce than professionals married to non-professionals. Even if that's the case, it's probably more correlated to socio-economic status in general than being a professional. People who struggle financially are probably more likely to fail at marriage, but this category of people probably doesn't include single-provider couples where the working partner is in biglaw.

[nouseforaname123]

Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.

I don't have an opinion either way, but lots of assertions in this thread with little support.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/ ... vorce.html

Women working full-time are 29 per cent more likely to get divorced than those who stay at home and raise children.

[GATORTIM]

.

[bk1]

I think we can all agree on one thing: no matter who you marry, odds are your marriage will probably either fail or be miserable.

[Anonymous User]

....and resenting the fact that you're not there to help her take care of the kids. Trust me, I come from a long line of those types of families. Women with real careers are more interesting to talk to anyway. Overall, for both financial and personal reasons, I am in favor of professionals marrying each other. I am sure it can work the other way, but the chances of it not working out are quite high.

Wow, way to generalize. You obviously have a very specific set of attributes you look for in friends. Otherwise, you might have taken the effort to get to know the millions of women your age who actually want to be homemakers and enjoy it. Personally, I find professional women to be dull. They spend their entire lives trying to fit into a male-dominated profession and coarsen themselves in order to fit in to the point that they become more like men than real women. If I wanted to hang out with professional women, I might as well hang out with professional guys because they have the exact same personalities, goals, etc. It's refreshing to have a woman who is nurturing, caring, happy, etc. who can tell you stories about all the hilarious shit your kid did while you're at work. Financially, it's been proven in numerous studies that stay-at-home moms save an enormous amount of money for families given the services they provide. Also, I don't believe any of the people in this thread claiming that professional couples are less likely to divorce than professionals married to non-professionals. Even if that's the case, it's probably more correlated to socio-economic status in general than being a professional. People who struggle financially are probably more likely to fail at marriage, but this category of people probably doesn't include single-provider couples where the working partner is in biglaw.

My goodness, I sure hope you don't talk like this in real life, or that you are never in charge of hiring or promotions anywhere; you're an equal opportunity lawsuit waiting to happen, unless you are a woman. Then I apologize.

Accidently anon. This is Persues_I.