Female Dress Code at interviews? Forum

[PrincessLexiRae]

You can wear an engagement ring...I don't see any reason why you shouldn't.

[Anonymous User]

You can wear an engagement ring...I don't see any reason why you shouldn't.

I'd advise against wearing an engagement ring, but not on grounds of tackiness. The unfortunate truth is that many employers (especially older men) discriminate against women they perceive are likely to get pregnant, and for those employers, an engagement ring or wedding band is a red interview flag. I've heard partners who wouldn't dream of discriminating on race or sexual orientation openly discuss their fear of hiring young women "who'll just get pregnant and drop the ball."

[Anonymous User]

I told a friend of mine to wear a fake engagement ring b/c her target market completely changed over the summer solely based on where her serious S.O. is headed, but she has NO ties to the new place. "My boyfriend is going there" is not as good of a reason as "my fiance is going there" in my mind. I don't think she's going to do it, but I stand by my advice. Whatever.

Clothing wise, I have pants suits and skirt suits, always wear silk shell or other non-collared shirt under, hair half up half down, ALWAYS pantyhose (knee highs under pants, full hose under skirts) b/c I've heard from female partners especially that they don't understand "the younger women's generation" not wearing them.

Skirt MUST be at or below the knee. I can still remember when I conducted interviews for my old job and saw this Asian girl with super long hair wearing a sexy secretary short skirt suit that looked like it was out of a porn. BAD TIMES.

[12262010]

You think it's tacky to wear an engagement ring, period, or you have some sort of opinion that some engagement rings are appropriate and some are not? If so, what would you find distasteful to wear to an interview? I almost never take it off, so regardless of what other people think of the appropriateness of the ring itself, it's not like debating whether or not to wear a diamond necklace or diamond studs. Keep in mind that I will (and generally do) wear very little other jewelry--I wear small pearl studs and that's it. No right hand rings, no necklaces, no bracelets.

no, I think giant bling is tacky generally.

[pehaigllleises]

I would not wear it if I had independent ties to Chicago. Unfortunately, however, my resume says New York, NY all the way down it. My husband has a long residency here. I want to stay here. Mentioning him is the best way to support that assertion. I also really hate babies, but there's no tactful way to bring that up in an interview (or basically ever).

One of my friends is borrowing an engagement ring to do the same thing. She has no connections to the city she wants to move to other than her serious significant other. "Boyfriend" does not have the same serious connotation that their relationship deserves.

no, I think giant bling is tacky generally.

People's definitions of what is and is not too much (and too much for an interview does not necessarily equal giant) tend to vary with age, gender, finger size, ring type (solitaire, side stones, three stone, etc.) and region (hard to be too much in New York, but I see far less in Chicago).

[12262010]

People's definitions of what is and is not too much (and too much for an interview does not necessarily equal giant) tend to vary with age, gender, finger size, ring type (solitaire, side stones, three stone, etc.) and region (hard to be too much in New York, but I see far less in Chicago).

why take the risk that someone would be put off by your massive bling? just take it off for 20 minutes.

[animalcrkrs]

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

[pehaigllleises]

People's definitions of what is and is not too much (and too much for an interview does not necessarily equal giant) tend to vary with age, gender, finger size, ring type (solitaire, side stones, three stone, etc.) and region (hard to be too much in New York, but I see far less in Chicago).

why take the risk that someone would be put off by your massive bling? just take it off for 20 minutes.

Because it's not "massive" by my definition and most urban people's definitions. I just wanted to know if anyone else had a sense of what is "too much for an interview" for a young woman in Chicago. You're not being very helpful in that end. I also almost never take it off, because I feel that the safest place for it is on my finger, and not in my bag, where it can more easily fall out or get lost. So the risk of cattiness has to outweigh the risk of losing it.

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

Wow! Mine is between those but much closer to the measely side. I understand having a more understated ring for traveling outside the country, but I don't understand having a beautiful engagement ring that you rarely wear.

[animalcrkrs]

To be honest it almost looks fake it's sooo big (and she's tiny with tiny hands lol)

[12262010]

Because it's not "massive" by my definition and most urban people's definitions. I just wanted to know if anyone else had a sense of what is "too much for an interview" for a young woman in Chicago. You're not being very helpful in that end. I also almost never take it off, because I feel that the safest place for it is on my finger, and not in my bag, where it can more easily fall out or get lost. So the risk of cattiness has to outweigh the risk of losing it.

that rationale is horrible. leave it home.

post the ring if you want to know whether people think it's tacky for interviews. HTH.

[jks289]

People's definitions of what is and is not too much (and too much for an interview does not necessarily equal giant) tend to vary with age, gender, finger size, ring type (solitaire, side stones, three stone, etc.) and region (hard to be too much in New York, but I see far less in Chicago).

why take the risk that someone would be put off by your massive bling? just take it off for 20 minutes.

Because it's not "massive" by my definition and most urban people's definitions. I just wanted to know if anyone else had a sense of what is "too much for an interview" for a young woman in Chicago. You're not being very helpful in that end. I also almost never take it off, because I feel that the safest place for it is on my finger, and not in my bag, where it can more easily fall out or get lost. So the risk of cattiness has to outweigh the risk of losing it.

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

Wow! Mine is between those but much closer to the measely side. I understand having a more understated ring for traveling outside the country, but I don't understand having a beautiful engagement ring that you rarely wear.

Your ring sounds fine to wear. If people are routinely distracted by it (constantly looking at it, asking questions, grabbing your hand) then you might want to leave it off. Otherwise, it is a non-issue. You are married, and unless it is the Hope diamond, most people realize a ring is a question of personal taste. The likelihood is that a male interviewer won't notice, and a female interviewer will be wearing a ring herself.

I have a similar set (tiny thin wedding band) and usually pop off the engagement ring for important things. Not because it is big or tacky, and I don't think that is a good reason to not wear it, but because I have a nervous habit of twisting the ring. I have considered getting a completely plain gold band for travel/outdoor stuff. That might be a good inexpensive alternative for you.

[Anonymous User]

One of my friends is borrowing an engagement ring to do the same thing. She has no connections to the city she wants to move to other than her serious significant other. "Boyfriend" does not have the same serious connotation that their relationship deserves.

As someone in a similar situation to your friend who had no problem securing a job, I think the fake ring is a terrible idea. First, boyfriend is perfectly fine to say, and if you're concerned about the seriousness factor, mention the duration. Second, and more importantly, think about what happens after you get the job. The following reflects my experience at a largeish firm in a smaller market: You will socialize with other summers, associates, and sometimes even partners outside of work. People at your firm will know, or know of, your boyfriend, members of his family, his coworkers and friends. Several will go to the same gym and supermarket that you do. You will have lots of mutual acquaintances. And so on. There's going to be a non-negligible chance of getting caught and looking really dumb for lying about something that isn't even worth lying about. Maybe someplace as big as Chicago maintaining the fiction will be easier. Just realize you'll have to do so all summer, and forever if you stay with the firm after graduation.

[jks289]

One of my friends is borrowing an engagement ring to do the same thing. She has no connections to the city she wants to move to other than her serious significant other. "Boyfriend" does not have the same serious connotation that their relationship deserves.

As someone in a similar situation to your friend who had no problem securing a job, I think the fake ring is a terrible idea. First, boyfriend is perfectly fine to say, and if you're concerned about the seriousness factor, mention the duration. Second, and more importantly, think about what happens after you get the job. The following reflects my experience at a largeish firm in a smaller market: You will socialize with other summers, associates, and sometimes even partners outside of work. People at your firm will know, or know of, your boyfriend, members of his family, his coworkers and friends. Several will go to the same gym and supermarket that you do. You will have lots of mutual acquaintances. And so on. There's going to be a non-negligible chance of getting caught and looking really dumb for lying about something that isn't even worth lying about. Maybe someplace as big as Chicago maintaining the fiction will be easier. Just realize you'll have to do so all summer, and forever if you stay with the firm after graduation.

Also the term "partner" implies a commitment without needing specifics. Just use a pronoun to avoid an awkward clarification of same-sex (if it even matters) at a later date. "My partner has been offered a job here. His family is from the area."

[neimanmarxist]

People's definitions of what is and is not too much (and too much for an interview does not necessarily equal giant) tend to vary with age, gender, finger size, ring type (solitaire, side stones, three stone, etc.) and region (hard to be too much in New York, but I see far less in Chicago).

why take the risk that someone would be put off by your massive bling? just take it off for 20 minutes.

Because it's not "massive" by my definition and most urban people's definitions. I just wanted to know if anyone else had a sense of what is "too much for an interview" for a young woman in Chicago. You're not being very helpful in that end. I also almost never take it off, because I feel that the safest place for it is on my finger, and not in my bag, where it can more easily fall out or get lost. So the risk of cattiness has to outweigh the risk of losing it.

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

Wow! Mine is between those but much closer to the measely side. I understand having a more understated ring for traveling outside the country, but I don't understand having a beautiful engagement ring that you rarely wear.

Subtle "I've got a massive rock" trolling.

[pehaigllleises]

I said that "huge" and "massive" are definitely not words that apply, so I'm not sure where you're getting that. Also size != price or prettiness. Our OCS tells us to wear our engagement rings, and other sources say don't wear anything over 1ct, don't wear anything over 2ct, or don't wear anything that will put someone's eye out. I wanted more opinions.

Thanks, jks289, for your advice. My wedding ring is thin plain and less than $100, so I may just get another to stack and invest in a safe for home.

I will relay your concerns to my friend about the borrowed ring, anon. It's a good point.

[animalcrkrs]

On '16 and Pregnant' on MTV Gary bought Amber a 21 dollar engagement ring at walmart. That sounds like the way to go to me.

[Antipodean]

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

2 carats is "measely"? That's at least ten grand spent on a chunk of mineral of no particular rarity.

[rbgrocio]

Or get two like my loaded friend did, one for "everyday." One's 7 carats (5 carat center stone and two 1-carats on either sdie) the other a measely 2 carats.

lol... I think 2 carats is already huge...

[rbgrocio]

I'm amused by this whole ring debate. I mean... getting a fake ring, really? If you are good enough they will take you without you having to prove where your husband or bf or whatever lives... What if you get hired? All of a sudden you don't wear the ring anymore or you keep telling a lie forever and ever... I think it is because of things like this that sometimes when i want to say the word "lawyer" i inadvertently say "liar."

Also, I never take my engagement and wedding band off (NEVER)... I would probably not want to work anyway for someone who would not hire me just because i'm married and they think im going to get pregnant. My ring is much more discrete that what everyone here is talking about, but if I were an employer the last thing I would be concerned about is whether you have a ring on your left hand or not.

[jennylynn]

I don't care what the position is, I couldn't work for someone that sexist. I might be naive, but that's my gut instinct on the matter. I'd wear the ring.

[NYAssociate]

.

[jennylynn]

You all are way overthinking this.

And this.

[20160810]

OP has been outed for truly silly usage of the anonymous feature.

[kimber1028]

One of my friends is borrowing an engagement ring to do the same thing. She has no connections to the city she wants to move to other than her serious significant other. "Boyfriend" does not have the same serious connotation that their relationship deserves.

As someone in a similar situation to your friend who had no problem securing a job, I think the fake ring is a terrible idea. First, boyfriend is perfectly fine to say, and if you're concerned about the seriousness factor, mention the duration. Second, and more importantly, think about what happens after you get the job. The following reflects my experience at a largeish firm in a smaller market: You will socialize with other summers, associates, and sometimes even partners outside of work. People at your firm will know, or know of, your boyfriend, members of his family, his coworkers and friends. Several will go to the same gym and supermarket that you do. You will have lots of mutual acquaintances. And so on. There's going to be a non-negligible chance of getting caught and looking really dumb for lying about something that isn't even worth lying about. Maybe someplace as big as Chicago maintaining the fiction will be easier. Just realize you'll have to do so all summer, and forever if you stay with the firm after graduation.

Also the term "partner" implies a commitment without needing specifics. Just use a pronoun to avoid an awkward clarification of same-sex (if it even matters) at a later date. "My partner has been offered a job here. His family is from the area."

+1. My fiancé and I dated for six years before getting engaged, so I used "domestic partner" or just "partner" to describe him on a regular basis. I found that most take it just as seriously as "fiancé," if not "husband/wife," especially in states with domestic partner recognition. I agree with the poster above, though - if your friend lies about the engagement, it'll be tough to keep up the charade next summer and beyond. . . her boyfriend will pretty much need to propose to keep her cover intact.

[12262010]

how about nail color? what are our limited options?