New associate fuck up thread (and tips for slacking) Forum

[Mola Ram]

like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

Unless I can answer the question without thinking at all, like in a sentence or two, I will get a matter no. so I can bill that

if you're billing .2 for 2 minutes of question answering i think that's fucked up

Naw I'll put a .1 for 2 minutes worth of attention

If I email around for a precedent doc ("Does anyone have a good example of an agreement/motion/form/research memo/etc."?) and you asked for a matter number back because you spent 8 minutes going through your inbox or folders, I would be pissed.

[baal hadad]

like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

Unless I can answer the question without thinking at all, like in a sentence or two, I will get a matter no. so I can bill that

if you're billing .2 for 2 minutes of question answering i think that's fucked up

Naw I'll put a .1 for 2 minutes worth of attention

If I email around for a precedent doc ("Does anyone have a good example of an agreement/motion/form/research memo/etc."?) and you asked for a matter number back because you spent 8 minutes going through your inbox or folders, I would be pissed.

I give you the case name, you look up the file in our system. I'm not billin for that.

[baal hadad]

Also as an associate im not in the biz of giving people bad or incorrect info so if someone asks me a simple question my answer is still probably gonna be "let me take a quick look at the rules/statute/whatever and get back to you" and you an bet your ass I'm billin for that

[anyriotgirl]

ten .1's equals one hour

why would you not bill every .1 that you are entitled to bill? let the partner cut it if he/she wants, why would you cut it preemptively?

[baal hadad]

ten .1's equals one hour

why would you not bill every .1 that you are entitled to bill? let the partner cut it if he/she wants, why would you cut it preemptively?

CR

[los blancos]

the idea got started because people are humans and have to do things like go to the bathroom, eat food, deal with personal issues, interact with other humans off and on, and do work stuff that can't be billed, like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

I'm convinced most associates engage in mild fraud on a daily basis and just leave the timer running.

[Troianii]

Just want to shout out brotherdarkness and rpupkin for the sense of humor. You two gave me more laughs in the first two pages than I've gotten on all other TLS threads put together.

[los blancos]

the idea got started because people are humans and have to do things like go to the bathroom, eat food, deal with personal issues, interact with other humans off and on, and do work stuff that can't be billed, like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

When you work a 60 hour billable week, do you really spend 4 hours per day doing that normal stuff? (80 hrs - 60 hrs = 4 hrs/weekday) Plus about 4-5 hours of my 60 hour "work week" are coming from home, either on the weekends or late night. Since I'm only billing about 11 hours on average in the office per day I sure as hell am not spending an extra 4 hours doing BS.

This has to be flame right

[brotherdarkness]

Just want to shout out brotherdarkness and rpupkin for the sense of humor. You two gave me more laughs in the first two pages than I've gotten on all other TLS threads put together.

Thanks. I think?

On an unrelated note, just remembered that bar results come out in about a month. Shit.

[lacrossebrother]

Guys I only bill 12.5 a day so there's no way I'm gonna spend extra time pooping

[lacrossebrother]

like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

Unless I can answer the question without thinking at all, like in a sentence or two, I will get a matter no. so I can bill that

if you're billing .2 for 2 minutes of question answering i think that's fucked up

Naw I'll put a .1 for 2 minutes worth of attention

If I email around for a precedent doc ("Does anyone have a good example of an agreement/motion/form/research memo/etc."?) and you asked for a matter number back because you spent 8 minutes going through your inbox or folders, I would be pissed.

I'd think it was tight and makes it more acceptable for me to do it

[Br3v]

like answering small questions about legal or procedural shit for another attorney on a case you aren't working.

Unless I can answer the question without thinking at all, like in a sentence or two, I will get a matter no. so I can bill that

if you're billing .2 for 2 minutes of question answering i think that's fucked up

Naw I'll put a .1 for 2 minutes worth of attention

If I email around for a precedent doc ("Does anyone have a good example of an agreement/motion/form/research memo/etc."?) and you asked for a matter number back because you spent 8 minutes going through your inbox or folders, I would be pissed.

Why would you be "pissed?" Because you have to reply with the matter number that you already have memorized?

[Kronk]

Probs because you're billing his client for bullshit.

[los blancos]

Doesn't it take more time to figure out the c/m and write a time entry than it's worth? Feels like a pointless exercise.

[Kronk]

Doesn't it take more time to figure out the c/m and write a time entry than it's worth? Feels like a pointless exercise.

nah, because they obviously just also bill for that time as well.

[Clearly]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

Quit whiskey, switch to vodka you drunk.

all those people can't be wrong.

[BaiAilian2013]

ten .1's equals one hour

why would you not bill every .1 that you are entitled to bill? let the partner cut it if he/she wants, why would you cut it preemptively?

Because some partners get pissed if you bill too much time (writing a lot of time off affects their compensation at some firms) and above a certain amount they have to say why the time is getting written off, and you don't want to be the associate whose name keeps showing up in connection with "excessive time" writeoffs. A .1 that gets written off is a .1 that could have been spent on another matter and not been written off.

This is client-, partner-, practice group-, firm-, and market-dependent, but that's why an associate would sometimes eat a .1 for a bullshit 2-minute interaction. It's a strategic decision. I cut way less than my peers in my group fwiw, but I still do it, usually for a small-potatoes client with either a stingy partner or a partner I want more work from.

[Danger Zone]

Probs because you're billing his client for bullshit.

Another great perk about big law: not giving a shit whether other people are overbilling because the client is some nameless faceless entity

[gk101]

you'll also be cutting a lot of time when you get in the client relationship management / business development stage of your career

[El Pollito]

Probs because you're billing his client for bullshit.

Another great perk about big law: not giving a shit whether other people are overbilling because the client is some nameless faceless entity

eh some partners really don't like it

[Anonymous User]

I'm the Snapple debacle, and also may have had a secretary debacle. We have one secretary holding down our little fort, which includes about 8 of us in total and several big partners. She is fairly young and still has her youthful good looks, but her facial expressions imply she just survived The Battle of Iwo Jima, even on a Monday. Oblivious and cheerful, I introduced myself to her by name, and stated that I was new, smiling widely. This seemed like the appropriate thing to do, but she glared at me the way that the diner waitress glared at Benicio Del Toro in Fear & Loathing. She wasn't having any of it. Instead of replying with her name, she said, "Okay." Now it's been kind of a weird and awkward struggle on a daily basis. My daily good morning never has an echo, which makes me feel like I'm the creepiest associate since Desert Fox. Is there some kind of weird power protocol I violated, and how would one fix this?

[rpupkin]

I'm the Snapple debacle, and also may have had a secretary debacle. We have one secretary holding down our little fort, which includes about 8 of us in total and several big partners. She is fairly young and still has her youthful good looks, but she looks miserable for long stretches of day, like she just survived The Battle of Iwo Jima. Oblivious to this, I introduced myself to her by name and stated that I was new. This seemed like the appropriate thing to do, but she glared at me the way that the diner waitress glared at Benicio Del Toro in Fear & Loathing. She wasn't having any of it. Instead of replying with her name, she said, "Okay." Now it's been kind of a weird and awkward struggle on a daily basis. My daily good morning never has an echo, which makes me feel like I'm the creepiest associate since Desert Fox. Is there some kind of weird power protocol I violated, and how would one fix this?

For starters, one would avoid going to a TTT law firm that assigns eight attorneys (including several partners) to one secretary.

[Desert Fox]

[Desert Fox]

[rpupkin]

I'm the Snapple debacle, and also may have had a secretary debacle. We have one secretary holding down our little fort, which includes about 8 of us in total and several big partners. She is fairly young and still has her youthful good looks, but she looks miserable for long stretches of day, like she just survived The Battle of Iwo Jima. Oblivious to this, I introduced myself to her by name and stated that I was new. This seemed like the appropriate thing to do, but she glared at me the way that the diner waitress glared at Benicio Del Toro in Fear & Loathing. She wasn't having any of it. Instead of replying with her name, she said, "Okay." Now it's been kind of a weird and awkward struggle on a daily basis. My daily good morning never has an echo, which makes me feel like I'm the creepiest associate since Desert Fox. Is there some kind of weird power protocol I violated, and how would one fix this?

For starters, one would avoid going to a TTT law firm that assigns eight attorneys (including several partners) to one secretary.

My V42 makes me share with like 13 people.

Wow. No wonder you do your own secretarial shit.