New associate fuck up thread (and tips for slacking) Forum

[lacrossebrother]

i actually opted for small firm lifestyle, and havent gone home before midnight in awhile. i got hit with a MSJ to write in 4 days cold (i.e. hadnt seen file before) on top of all my other shit, which just wrecked my deadlines on everything else. I think after this week Ill be ok again

[baal hadad]

i actually opted for small firm lifestyle, and havent gone home before midnight in awhile. i got hit with a MSJ to write in 4 days cold (i.e. hadnt seen file before) on top of all my other shit, which just wrecked my deadlines on everything else. I think after this week Ill be ok again

work sucks

[FSK]

i actually opted for small firm lifestyle, and havent gone home before midnight in awhile. i got hit with a MSJ to write in 4 days cold (i.e. hadnt seen file before) on top of all my other shit, which just wrecked my deadlines on everything else. I think after this week Ill be ok again

I read stories like this all the time, and I don't understand how something so criticlaly important gets left to the last minute repreatedly across so many firms. Can you explain?

[baal hadad]

i actually opted for small firm lifestyle, and havent gone home before midnight in awhile. i got hit with a MSJ to write in 4 days cold (i.e. hadnt seen file before) on top of all my other shit, which just wrecked my deadlines on everything else. I think after this week Ill be ok again

I read stories like this all the time, and I don't understand how something so criticlaly important gets left to the last minute repreatedly across so many firms. Can you explain?

There's a lot of shit going on brah

[FSK]

I believe it. Just hard to get from the outside in.

[Desert Fox]

[lacrossebrother]

I believe it. Just hard to get from the outside in.

here's what happened.
associate looks at her calendar correctly, sees when MSJ is actually due, schedules depos appropriately.
associate misreads her calendar, thinks she has MSJ due but will be in depos all week.
associate solves her "problem" by dumping MSJ on me.
associate returns from her trip, after I'm just absolutely cooked from nonstop writing, re-looks at her calendar, finds that we have plenty of time to get the thing in.

[baal hadad]

I believe it. Just hard to get from the outside in.

here's what happened.
associate looks at her calendar correctly, sees when MSJ is actually due, schedules depos appropriately.
associate misreads her calendar, thinks she has MSJ due but will be in depos all week.
associate solves her "problem" by dumping MSJ on me.
associate returns from her trip, after I'm just absolutely cooked from nonstop writing, re-looks at her calendar, finds that we have plenty of time to get the thing in.

You got any good arguments at least?

how are the facts

I've never been asked to write a MSJ so I don't know how it goes

[lacrossebrother]

lol ya it was fine

[rpupkin]

Transactional PE associate here.

Working on the company side, and I used a precedent document for an entirely different client/deal (think: a warrant, note, etc).

I accidentally left the signature page from the precedent document in the new document, which was then sent to the investors of the Company (think: leaving a Blackstone signature page on a document that was then sent to KKR (the Company's actual investor)). The investors chime in "UHHH WHAT IS THIS SIGNATURE PAGE FOR [THAT OTHER PE FIRM] DOING HERE?" The company is like "WE HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH [THAT OTHER PE FIRM]! PROMISE!" and my senior associate is like "get your shit together, homie"

I have been working as a lawyer for nearly four years and I don't understand even one of those sentences. Litigators and Corporate Attorneys live in completely different worlds.

[Anonymous User]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

[Danger Zone]

Transactional PE associate here.

Working on the company side, and I used a precedent document for an entirely different client/deal (think: a warrant, note, etc).

I accidentally left the signature page from the precedent document in the new document, which was then sent to the investors of the Company (think: leaving a Blackstone signature page on a document that was then sent to KKR (the Company's actual investor)). The investors chime in "UHHH WHAT IS THIS SIGNATURE PAGE FOR [THAT OTHER PE FIRM] DOING HERE?" The company is like "WE HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH [THAT OTHER PE FIRM]! PROMISE!" and my senior associate is like "get your shit together, homie"

I have been working as a lawyer for nearly four years and I don't understand even one of those sentences. Litigators and Corporate Attorneys live in completely different worlds.

OFS. I was trying to explain a deal structure to a guy in litigation who I started with and as soon as i said "mezzanine" he was like "I don't understand anything you just said."

[FSK]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

http://www.amazon.com/Neiko-71010-Stain ... ttle+metal

That was easy.

[RaceJudicata]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

ENJOY YOUR SNAPPLE, BRO!!!! Don't let the man stop you. But get a non-transparent water bottle.

[TLSModBot]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

Hide your water bottle in a rumpled paper bag. Then they can't see what color the liquid is inside!

[Anonymous User]

I thought about the stainless steel bottle. My one issue with it is I never get sick, like ever except for one time 5 years ago where I was in bed for a week puking from getting some kind of worm from a steel water bottle despite having cleaned it fairly frequently. It particularly scared me because I had to bail on some last minute commitments, and it cost the company I was working for several thousand dollars to resolve the complaints. So basically, I'd have to toss them out every month, but I assume $72/year is a small price to pay to be able to have my snapple mix and not have to take AA classes to keep my job.

[A. Nony Mouse]

Random but how would you address a possible misconception that you're drinking alcohol all day every day? I've tried to get off pop, but don't enjoy the taste of water so I have been using these drink mixes. Initially, I was using the Diet Lemon flavored Snapple ones. When mixed into a 16 oz bottle of water, it tastes like the real thing. It is a fantastic product, and I highly recommend it. However, I quickly learned it makes it look like whiskey. I switched to the Raspberry flavored ones, but the color distinction is minimal, and it still looked like whiskey. I began to notice that when I spoke with other attorneys, they would often look at my water bottle. It got increasingly awkward when my first year class would be reminded of the alcohol on the job policy. Although it may be paranoia, it seemed odd that we were never reminded of any of the 1000 other policies like drugs and sexual harassment, but were only ever reminded of the alcohol policy.

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

....wouldn't something that looks like whiskey also look like iced tea? this sounds a little paranoid to me. Could it be that people look at your water bottle because most people don't carry their water bottle with them everywhere they go all day?

[rpupkin]

After this I decided to totally switch over, and went to a Pink Lemonade mix, which looks pink and not like whiskey. However, my water bottle still never stopped drawing attention. I'm a fairly social person, and walk around my floor a lot to get to know the other people always carrying my water bottle, but can't help but think everyone thinks I'm an alcoholic who has become so desensitized to liquor they can take swigs of it all day, and still be fine. The comedic thing about it all is that while I enjoy liquor with food, I don't drink much, and never have more than 2 beers or 2 glasses of wine. I've found myself randomly commenting in conversations at times that it's just lemonade, and not alcohol, which probably comes off incredibly awkward. Should I just forget about the drink mixes? Is there any way to explain that I'm not an alcoholic despite it never directly coming up?

....wouldn't something that looks like whiskey also look like iced tea? this sounds a little paranoid to me. Could it be that people look at your water bottle because most people don't carry their water bottle with them everywhere they go all day?

Right. People could also be looking at the water bottle because the OP keeps randomly and defensively bringing up the contents of the water bottle. OP: just leave the water/lemonade/whiskey/cosmo bottle at your desk. Problem solved.

[FSK]

I thought about the stainless steel bottle. My one issue with it is I never get sick, like ever except for one time 5 years ago where I was in bed for a week puking from getting some kind of worm from a steel water bottle despite having cleaned it fairly frequently. It particularly scared me because I had to bail on some last minute commitments, and it cost the company I was working for several thousand dollars to resolve the complaints. So basically, I'd have to toss them out every month, but I assume $72/year is a small price to pay to be able to have my snapple mix and not have to take AA classes to keep my job.

You must not know how to clean dishes. You can bleach these. I promise that will kill whatever you think is in it. Please do not throw away 12 bottles a year because you are lazy/unable to do basic household tasks.

[Desert Fox]

[Desert Fox]

[rpupkin]

I feel like an alien watching a different culture. I don't understand these corpmos but from what k gather signing pages is very important in their religion.

Yeah. Looking in from the outside, it appears to me that corporate clients are willing to pay associates $400/hr for shit that I would ask my secretary to do in litigation. I'm sure it's all really important and the associates add value in some way, but I just don't get it.

[hdunlop]

Yeah even for tls that water bottle stuff is some aspie shit

[jingosaur]

If the partners think you're downing a 20 ounce bottle of pure whiskey every day, you're more of a hero than a liability.

[LeDique]

my favorite part is that you guys chose to live this life

in fact, you actually competed for it

jfc

this is all i could think reading through the thread. how's the new job going?