Another DuI addenda please help Forum

[jgutella]

On X X of XXXX I was charged with DUI (alcohol) in XXXXXX. With the advice of counsel, and with admission of intoxication at the time of arrest, I proceeded to enroll in the ***** Package. While involved in this program, I maintained sobriety, received counseling, performed community service, among various other things. Within **** months and with the successful completion of all the strict components of the package, the charges were dropped. I did not let this experience get in the way of my scores, as you can see, and it has greatly aided me in getting my priorities straight. I also had the opportunity to ride the city bus, where I became even more humbled. I can assure you that this has not been a problem since and won’t be a problem in my future.
Any advice?
Also is this going to be a huge problem with Law schools? My other stuff is good but I know this will have to be very troubling for them.

[CanadianWolf]

If this was your first DUI, then it should be noted, in my opinion.

Brevity may help, although your tone & embellishments are convincing.

[minnbills]

I would take out the part about the city bus. I would also take out the "advice of counsel" and all that.

All the adcomms want to know is 1) that you've matured etc. etc. and 2) that you'll be able to pass the bar.

[transferror]

It won't be troubling at all, especially since the charges were dropped. Will the deferment program (I assume that's what "Package" is) show up on record.

Either way, it shouldn't be a big deal. I went through the same thing (kind of, I had a DUI w/ charge ultimately dropped), but I had even more on my record and it wasn't a problem.

Edit: I agree, drop the bus part and lose the word "various." Stick with either "other" or "various," but not both.

[North]

If that's a serious draft of an addendum you're thinking about sending to law schools, then you have a lot more to worry about.

[North]

I also had the opportunity to ride the city bus, where I became even more humbled.

Did the bus smell? The people? If yes, be sure to include in the revision.

[jgutella]

North- This draft is not one that I am seriously considering sending in yet. That is why I am here asking for advice.

Everyone else- Thanks for the input. I will take out the bus part, I thought I would mention it because it was an important experience for me. But it doesn't sound right I understand.

[cron1834]

That bus shit is priceless.

On a serious note, it doesn't actually strike me that you are accepting responsibility. "I was charged with" and "upon advice of counsel I enrolled in x" are not quite the same as stating, "I committed this crime. It was wrong." I'm not an adcomm or a bar investigator, so I don't know what they're looking for; but with that said, as a lay reader this really jumps out at me.

[banjo]

Were you drunk while writing this?

On XX of XXXX I was charged with DUI (alcohol) in XXXXXX. I admitted to intoxication at the time of arrest and voluntarily enrolled in the XXXXX Package. During the course of the program, I maintained sobriety, received counseling, and performed community service. After I completed the strict components of the program, the charges were dropped.

I accept full responsibility for my actions, and deeply regret endangering the lives of innocent people. This experience helped me set my priorities straight. I recognize that my behavior fell far below the ethical standards of the legal profession, and I promise that it will never happen again.

[phireblast]

Honestly the tone of this sounds like you were a bit inconvenienced by the whole process and went through the motions. Repent harder. Also the city bus thing...

[axel.foley]

Were you drunk while writing this?

On XX of XXXX I was charged with DUI (alcohol) in XXXXXX. I admitted to intoxication at the time of arrest and voluntarily enrolled in the XXXXX Package. During the course of the program, I maintained sobriety, received counseling, and performed community service. After I completed the strict components of the program, the charges were dropped.

I accept full responsibility for my actions, and deeply regret endangering the lives of innocent people. This experience helped me set my priorities straight. I recognize that my behavior fell far below the ethical standards of the legal profession, and I promise that it will never happen again.

+1000. Please don't keep the city bus part.

[lakers180]

+1 to getting rid of bus part
would try to make it sound more professional op