Should I ask my professor to dinner to get >LOR? Forum

[ZVBXRPL]

I have done very well in Professor Y.'s classses and she recently offered to write me a LOR. I feel that due to her busy schedule, it's quite possible she writes a mediocre LOR. I, however, feel that I need to take advantage of this opportunity and get the best LOR possible. So, my idea is to ask her to have dinner with me (on me, of course) so she can give me pre-law advice. Obviously this is to guilt her into spending more time/thought on the LOR. Obviously a stellar LOR neither guarantees nor is necessary to gain admission to a T LS but does asking her to dinner hurt any more than a decline due to time constraint or the $70 dinner tab? I feel like this is +EV. Am I incorrect?

Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?

P.S. I was thinking of titling this thread: "Should I ask my professor out?" but I realized I am not Yahoo News.
EDIT 8/2: I posted.the following a few days ago but feel that it belongs at the head of thread:
In retrospect and without qualification, asking a teacher to dinner is rude and not my place. When I created this thread I didnt think it was necessary to qualify my question with (extra) background information. However, in light of the overwhelming majority, here it is:A few months ago, Professor Y. offered me an internship with a circuit court judge she knows and suggested we meet the judge at a restaurant. The meeting never took place because I turned down her offer due to other obligations this summer. To be clear, I am not (exactly) suggesting a rain check on a one time offer for dinner. I am, however, looking for an opportunity to give her more of a reason to write a stellar LOR. Ultimately, I am curious with what I can get away with...perhaps at my detriment. I will probably schedule a meeting in school during office hours...like a normal person.

[rinkrat19]

No, absolutely not. That is weird and awkward.

A professor can write a perfectly fine LOR in like 5 minutes flat. It's part of their job. Time is not the factor limiting LOR quality; it's interest, and since she offered to write one for you, she has sufficient interest to make it not suck.

[guano]

Ask her out. Bring flowers. Report back how it went

[ManoftheHour]

Is she hot?

[nickb285]

.

[politics89]

Why don't you just try to set up a meeting to talk to her about it? Or maybe even coffee?

Dinner def comes off as weird

[guano]

Why don't you just try to set up a meeting to talk to her about it? Or maybe even coffee?

Dinner def comes off as weird

This is more appropriate if you need to ask for an LOR
Seriously, she already said she'd do it. Give her a reasonable amount of time, then follow up to ask if she's sent it in yet.

[Lincoln]

Should I ask her to dinner for "advice"?

Putting that in quotes makes it sound like when I invite a lady to my apartment to "watch a movie."

But no. This would be weird, and she's not going to spend any more time/write any better because you bought her dinner (an invitation which she likely would not accept, either because of ethical rules or because it's weird). If she offered to write you a LOR, she's going to put work into it. Don't try to guilt her, it won't make her LOR better and it's kind of a douche move.

I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."

[JJ123]

Lunch. Definitely lunch. Dinner is completely different.

[Balthy]

I agree, lunch or coffee on campus would be better. You shouldn't just ask for advice but briefly explain your general admissions strategy, possible weaknesses, etc. and offer to help with any refresher info if she needs it. A professor I'm pretty cool with once discussed LOR situations quite candidly with me and said that this sort of info really helps. Bring her a copy of your PS and resume if you can too.

[ZVBXRPL]

Awkward? No. Wierd? Possibly.
I guess lunch is a possibility but she's pretty busy and the consensus here is: HELL NO.

[crestor]

OP that is creepy

[A. Nony Mouse]

I just assumed the question wasn't for real, but if it was, no, do not ask your prof out to dinner. Either you do just want advice, in which case make an appointment for office hours, or you want to bribe her to write you a good letter, in which case your motives are transparent and it looks bad.

Alternately: film yourself asking her to dinner and her reaction.

[Nightrunner]

For the record, I think this is infinitely less ludicrous (entering the field of viability, even) if you change it to a cup of coffee.

[nickb285]

.

[BFrankBYangC]

Nominated for worst idea 2013. Generally if you're on the fence about a social interaction such that you have to make a poll about it the answer is "no, don't do that."

[itachiuchiha]

Is she hot?

[Lincoln]

I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."

Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?

It works, but only because everyone knows that it's an invitation to do the dirty. Cause who the hell has a stamp collection!?

[nickb285]

.

[hephaestus]

Just go to their office hours?

[Lincoln]

I usually go with asking if she wants to "see my stamp collection."

Does that work? Are there a bunch of philandering philatelists who get all hot and bothered at your Dag Hammarskjöld invert?

It works, but only because everyone knows that it's an invitation to do the dirty. Cause who the hell has a stamp collection!?

I'm now waiting for the day when you find yourself having to spend several hours pretending to be interested in a woman's stamp collection, your slowly wilting manhood compromised by the sight of hundreds of meticulously organized plastic sleeves.

I don't get invited often enough to where this is likely to happen.

[UMich11]

Unless you're close with them, don't do dinner. Lunch might be a decent option, or simply coffee. But office hours is there for a reason and you can always just walk up and ask for one. I was very good friends, i guess you could say, with a prof, but he also rowed out of the same boathouse as my school's team so i got to know him well. him and i just grabbed Chipotle one day and i asked then, he had no issue as long as i bough lunch (not sure if he was joking or not so i bought lunch).

[NYC2012]

.

[mr.hands]

OP that is creepy

[dr123]

No and she would probably decline