Critique my GPA addendum??? Forum

[hking4]

Alright, I just need someone to tell me how much of this is unnecessary/stupid/not worth mentioning:


During my freshman year of college, multiple factors contributed to my earning of a low grade point average. Along with having a particularly hard time adjusting to the responsibilities of a biomedical science major, my cousin, whom I was very close with, unexpectedly died in the spring semester. My first semester, I was very intimidated by my professors and failed to seek help from them when I began to do poorly. After withdrawing from a Chemistry class, I had the realization that the natural sciences were not for me. For the spring semester, I decided to enroll in humanities courses. After being exposed to such classes, I decided that I would change my major to Political Science. Later in the semester, my cousin was involved in a tragic coalmine explosion. After hearing the news, I quickly rushed to the mine to be with my family. They could not recover his body to determine if he was alive or dead for a week. As a result of the week of searching, the following days of mourning, and the funeral services, I missed about three weeks of classes. This negatively affected my grades as well as my state of mind. I was unable to withdraw from the year without losing my academic scholarships.

I received a 1.8 GPA in the fall semester and a 2.72 GPA in the spring semester of my freshman year. Regarding my first semester, I have since matured in that I approach my professors in office hours when I need additional help and have learned how to study appropriately. Also, after transferring institutions and changing majors, my grades have dramatically improved. I believe that my GPA at my current university of 3.73 is more representative of my current academic potential.


Thanks =)

[westie25]

Here is how I would write it (still using your words). Focus on what really impacted your grades, and leave out little things (e.g. not approaching professors). Hope this helps!

During my freshman year of college, multiple factors contributed to earning a low grade point average. First, I had the realization that the natural sciences were not for me, and I enrolled in humanities courses. After taking a few classes, I decided to change my major to Political Science, and my GPA improved. Additionally, in my first semester, my cousin was involved in a tragic coalmine explosion. After hearing the news, I quickly rushed to the mine to be with my family. They could not recover his body to determine if he was alive or dead for a week. As a result of the week of searching, the following days of mourning, and the funeral services, I missed about three weeks of classes. This negatively affected my grades as well as my state of mind. I received a 1.8 GPA in the fall semester, and a 2.72 GPA in the spring semester of my freshman year. After changing majors, and being able to heal from the tragic loss of my cousin, my grades have dramatically improved. I believe that my GPA at my current university (3.73) is more representative of my academic potential.

[bp shinners]

During my freshman year of college, my cousin, with whom I was very close, unexpectedly died. He was involved in a tragic coalmine explosion. After hearing the news, I quickly rushed to the mine to be with my family. They could not recover his body to determine if he was alive or dead for a week. As a result of the week of searching, the following days of mourning, and the funeral services, I missed about three weeks of classes. This negatively affected my grades as well as my state of mind. I was unable to withdraw from the year without losing my academic scholarships.

After transferring institutions and changing majors, my grades have dramatically improved. I believe that my GPA at my current university of 3.73 is more representative of my current academic potential.

[giantwhale3798]

I would suggest just saying the factors that make your grades lower, but not saying what grade is the real reflection because they already knows that. Being too eager to show your current strength will make them think that you are lack of confidence.

[hking4]

Thank you guys so much!

[CanadianWolf]

Another option:

During my first year of college, I experienced both personal difficulties and family tragedies which impacted my grades. After transferring & getting a fresh start, my grades improved dramatically.