Oops Forum

[jessi419]

I think I may have ruined my chances to get off one wait list.

I had a letter of recommendation sent to a school and their office apparently hasn't received it. When I received my copy, I realized it had been addressed to the Dean of Admissions and not to the Office of Admissions. Since the dean himself sends e-mail correspondence to applicants, I chose to send him a quick, polite e-mail telling him that a letter had been sent to him and I was wondering if he had received it.

The dean's response was:
"My obvious query then is to whom he sent the letter if not the Office of Admissions and Financial Aid? It is our office that should be receiving such a letter. If you want his letter to be part of your application, then the letter needs to be sent to our office."

Which I took to be rude/condescending. Not entirely unexpected, but it still peeved me.

My response to him was, "The letter was sent to you. If you do not recall receiving it or have chosen to disregard it, then that is fine. I have sent a copy of it myself to the Admissions Office to be included in my application.

Thank you again for your time,"

Which now, upon reflection, was a knee-jerk response. Do you think this alone would cause me to be taken out of the running? I'm having a mental image of him folding up my application into a paper airplane and tossing it into the trash. Right now, I am pretty sure I'm going to just reapply to schools in the Fall (I was late sending out applications in the cycle, so I'm finding myself waitlisted at a lot of places that I feel I outrank with my numbers), but I also don't want to make any enemies.

[CanadianWolf]

It seems as if both of you had a bad day &, unwisely, chose to document it in writing.

[jessi419]

It seems as if both of you had a bad day &, unwisely, chose to document it in writing.

Sounds like a fair assessment.

[blurbz]

Assuming your original note to him wasn't mean/rude, I think he sounds like a prick and I wouldn't want to go to his school, anyway.

[jessi419]

Assuming your original note to him wasn't mean/rude, I think he sounds like a prick and I wouldn't want to go to his school, anyway.

My initial email was polite and clearly stated a letter was sent to him by a graduate of the law school and I merely wanted to see if he received the letter. And if not, then I'd gladly send a copy to the admissions office.

[blurbz]

Then I stand by what I said. I think you may have done yourself a favor: A school with bad administration is not a school I want to make the mistake of attending (again).

[Mich33]

Then I stand by what I said. I think you may have done yourself a favor: A school with bad administration is not a school I want to make the mistake of attending (again).

+1

[kmap]

Was this NYU? Cause if so, they deserve every bit of vitriol they receive.

Dean was a dick, probably deserved to be chewed out, but he's still the one in a position of power, so I wouldn't have done it if I were you. But you probably don't want to go there anymore anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

[jessi419]

Then I stand by what I said. I think you may have done yourself a favor: A school with bad administration is not a school I want to make the mistake of attending (again).

Thanks, I think you might be right. Part of me is operating under the assumption that the world is filled with people like this, so I should just get used to it. But, the other part is thinking why should I vie for someone's approval just so I can end up paying them to be condescending?

I was mostly concerned that I might start getting used to matching this type of person's tone and it might end up getting me in trouble eventually, but I feel like there's no other way to deal with it if I don't want to seem like a pushover.

[jks289]

His email seems jerky, but he also has nothing to lose. You made a mistake, lesson learned. Don't bother obsessing over it. There is nothing to be done now, and you might as well just wait and see if you get in. Proceed as if this never happened. While I do think things like this can be bad, somehow I doubt the guy will hold a grudge into next year's cycle.

[jessi419]

His email seems jerky, but he also has nothing to lose. You made a mistake, lesson learned. Don't bother obsessing over it. There is nothing to be done now, and you might as well just wait and see if you get in. Proceed as if this never happened. While I do think things like this can be bad, somehow I doubt the guy will hold a grudge into next year's cycle.

Yeah, I'm not going to obsess over it. I genuinely have no hard feelings, because I'm sure to encounter worse in my life. I think I just need to learn how to handle it appropriately.

[djjf39]

Yeah, I'm not going to obsess over it. I genuinely have no hard feelings, because I'm sure to encounter worse in my life. I think I just need to learn how to handle it appropriately.

[jessi419]

Was this NYU? Cause if so, they deserve every bit of vitriol they receive.

Dean was a dick, probably deserved to be chewed out, but he's still the one in a position of power, so I wouldn't have done it if I were you. But you probably don't want to go there anymore anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

It's not NYU. I don't really want to say the dean's name or the school because I'm paranoid enough to think they monitor sites like these. Although, I guess I'm doing myself no favors by copy/pasting his exact words either.

[jessi419]

Yeah, I'm not going to obsess over it. I genuinely have no hard feelings, because I'm sure to encounter worse in my life. I think I just need to learn how to handle it appropriately.

I'm taking this to mean I either drown my sorrows with alcohol or I break bottles over their heads.

[djjf39]

I'm taking this to mean I either drown my sorrows with alcohol or I break bottles over their heads.

Buy a bottle, ride the night train, and see what happens. Much cheaper than professional therapy....

OP, the reply was definitely dickish, but he would have to have serious childhood traumas to hold a grudge for the next nine months. I would bet he won't even remember two months from now.

[jessi419]

I'm taking this to mean I either drown my sorrows with alcohol or I break bottles over their heads.

Buy a bottle, ride the night train, and see what happens. Much cheaper than professional therapy....

OP, the reply was definitely dickish, but he would have to have serious childhood traumas to hold a grudge for the next nine months. I would bet he won't even remember two months from now.

Got it, thanks. Yeah, I am hoping I won't even be in the position where I have to consider attending this school next year. I think my options will be better when I apply early in the Fall. I applied in April/May/(June for this particular school).