Hows 1L Living With a S.O. Forum

[rundoxierun]

The living together doesnt bother me. Im really, really flexible about everything and my only real pet peeve has to do with separation of spaces(i.e. dont eat in bed, i refuse to do schoolwork in bed, etc.). My biggest thing about moving in together is choosing a school. Do you let her preferences take priority or your own? Tough, tough choice.. hard to explain to a S.O. why your pref. should matter more w/o hurting some feelings or looking selfish.

[Rocketman11]

getting this as a rug

speaking of. do you have a rug/carpet? discuss

[dominkay]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

To be fair, there is a big difference between maintaining a relationship during 1L and moving in together for the first time during 1L.

Exactly. I think it's like running a marathon the night before your LSAT. Yeah, you should be able to balance your academic endeavors with your fitness goals, but still.

[Rocketman11]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

To be fair, there is a big difference between maintaining a relationship during 1L and moving in together for the first time during 1L.

Exactly. I think it's like running a marathon the night before your LSAT. Yeah, you should be able to balance your academic endeavors with your fitness goals, but still.

it is so rude to ignore direct questions

[dominkay]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

To be fair, there is a big difference between maintaining a relationship during 1L and moving in together for the first time during 1L.

Exactly. I think it's like running a marathon the night before your LSAT. Yeah, you should be able to balance your academic endeavors with your fitness goals, but still.

it is so rude to ignore direct questions

Not if the questions themselves are rude!

Also, carpets are gross. Dust mites live in carpeting. Ugh.

[legalease9]

I'm sorry but these questions always crack me up ... if you can't maintain a relationship in law school, there is no chance you can maintain a relationship working as a lawyer or any other demanding job.

To be fair, there is a big difference between maintaining a relationship during 1L and moving in together for the first time during 1L.

Exactly. I think it's like running a marathon the night before your LSAT. Yeah, you should be able to balance your academic endeavors with your fitness goals, but still.

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

[kalvano]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

[DoubleChecks]

it is so rude to ignore direct questions

Not if the questions themselves are rude!

Also, carpets are gross. Dust mites live in carpeting. Ugh.

wait, are you guys still actually talking about carpets and dust mites or...?

[DoubleChecks]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

girls share their pads w/ their bfs? man...that'd take awhile for me to get use to

[rundoxierun]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

ehh I never found that stuff to be weird when my gf lived with me.. I guess it just depends on your personality type. I liked having her around, saves a lot of the energy involved in constantly having to find something to do and someone to do it with every nite.

[legalease9]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

[romothesavior]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

girls share their pads w/ their bfs? man...that'd take awhile for me to get use to

[rundoxierun]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

Also, there is a certain progression in relationships and you cant always just hold these things off. I mean even if you do long distance for a year, the person has to find a job and a place one year then move to an entirely different place and get a new job the next. If you arent ready to move in together 1L then you should probably break-up(unless the other person can find/afford a place in the town you are going to school in... this is optimal). Life isnt like shopping for furniture, you cant always sit around and wait for the price to go down or keep shopping while keeping in the back of your mind the nice couch at the other store. You gotta make jumps and deal with the choice.

Plus, life isnt all that hard, people just suck at it. If it doesnt work out with you guys living together 1L it wasnt gonna work period.

[HBK]

My girlfriend said she wouldn't uproot her life without some form of collateral. So I gave her a ring.

[dominkay]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

I think waiting until 2L or 3L sounds reasonable. It's not so much about whether 2L or 3L is inherently less difficult; it's about having adjusted to that level and/or type of stress. It's also my understanding that your grades during 1L matter a whole lot more than your grades during 3L.

Personally, I don't believe in shit like being "truly right for each other." I think you find someone that you love, who you're reasonably compatible with, and from there it's a combination of luck and making shit work.

[legalease9]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

Also, there is a certain progression in relationships and you cant always just hold these things off. I mean even if you do long distance for a year, the person has to find a job and a place one year then move to an entirely different place and get a new job the next. If you arent ready to move in together 1L then you should probably break-up(unless the other person can find/afford a place in the town you are going to school in... this is optimal). Life isnt like shopping for furniture, you cant always sit around and wait for the price to go down or keep shopping while keeping in the back of your mind the nice couch at the other store. You gotta make jumps and deal with the choice.

Plus, life isnt all that hard, people just suck at it. If it doesnt work out with you guys living together 1L it wasnt gonna work period.

+180

[rundoxierun]

The thing is.. Long Distance or whatever doesnt require any less time or effort than living together and it comes with an equivalent amount of stress. There will be many very long talks, many arguments, plus you have to make an extra effort to let the person know you care since you cant be there physically.

[dominkay]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

Also, there is a certain progression in relationships and you cant always just hold these things off. I mean even if you do long distance for a year, the person has to find a job and a place one year then move to an entirely different place and get a new job the next. If you arent ready to move in together 1L then you should probably break-up(unless the other person can find/afford a place in the town you are going to school in... this is optimal). Life isnt like shopping for furniture, you cant always sit around and wait for the price to go down or keep shopping while keeping in the back of your mind the nice couch at the other store. You gotta make jumps and deal with the choice.

Plus, life isnt all that hard, people just suck at it. If it doesnt work out with you guys living together 1L it wasnt gonna work period.

Have you ever actually lived with someone?

[rundoxierun]

Have you ever actually lived with someone?

Yes.

[dominkay]

Have you ever actually lived with someone?

Yes.

I'm always surprised to hear people talk like circumstances don't matter at all.

[legalease9]

To Kalvano and Dominkay, when would you advise that they do move in together for the first time if not 1L?

Sometime a little less stressful. Adjusting to having someone share your pad, your bathroom, your bed...it's weird at first.

Thats my question. What time in a lawyers life is going to be less stressful? I suppose you could wait until 2 or 3L. Although new pressures arise in terms of finding legal employment so you don't drown in debt etc. I wouldn't say it would be any less stressful to move in just as your starting your first law firm job. Furthermore, if you can't tolerate eachother through 1L, how are you going to tolerate eachother when life gets really tough (illness death in the families, etc.). I think that if they are truly right for eachother, they can survive a move in during 1L. The postponement of things until life "gets easier" isn't a realistic option for legal professionals (or most anyone) IMO.

I think waiting until 2L or 3L sounds reasonable. It's not so much about whether 2L or 3L is inherently less difficult; it's about having adjusted to that level and/or type of stress. It's also my understanding that your grades during 1L matter a whole lot more than your grades during 3L.

Personally, I don't believe in shit like being "truly right for each other." I think you find someone that you love, who you're reasonably compatible with, and from there it's a combination of luck and making shit work.

I can see an argument for 2L 3L, although I am concerned about the Long distance period. And again, while academic stress goes down, career stress goes up during 2L and 3L. And if you're on a journal... oh boy!

I understand the importance of GPA, especially 1L GPA. However, I think to risk a relationship for a possible GPA boost is misplacing your priorities. But that's just me. Each person has to prioritize their own lives. Which is more important to you, your relationship or a minor improvement in your law school success. For those who vote the latter, you may want to reevaluate the strength of your relationship, and whether it should continue at all.

Doesn't "love" mean something stronger than "reasonable compatibility" and "luck?" Again, this is a question each person has to answer for themselves.

[legalease9]

The thing is.. Long Distance or whatever doesnt require any less time or effort than living together and it comes with an equivalent amount of stress. There will be many very long talks, many arguments, plus you have to make an extra effort to let the person know you care since you cant be there physically.

This.

[legalease9]

Have you ever actually lived with someone?

Yes.

I'm always surprised to hear people talk like circumstances don't matter at all.

I wouldn't say circumstances don't matter at all, but I say the most important circumstance is the degree to which you love the individual, and the importance of the relationship.

[rundoxierun]

Have you ever actually lived with someone?

Yes.

I'm always surprised to hear people talk like circumstances don't matter at all.

If the circumstance is stress from 1L then no it doesnt matter. Long Distance is much harder than being together, every little thing seems more important than it is under normal circumstances. Even little things like deciding what to get your SO for a bday present get more stressful since you want to make up a little for not being there everyday. Not to mention the possibility of guilt for being the one keeping you two apart. In my case of long distance, I was the one responsible for creating the situation(transferred schools) so whenever my SO complains about being lonely it kind of tugs at me.

[dominkay]

I can see an argument for 2L 3L, although I am concerned about the Long distance period. And again, while academic stress goes down, career stress goes up during 2L and 3L. And if you're on a journal... oh boy!

I understand the importance of GPA, especially 1L GPA. However, I think to risk a relationship for a possible GPA boost is misplacing your priorities. But that's just me. Each person has to prioritize their own lives. Which is more important to you, your relationship or a minor improvement in your law school success. For those who vote the latter, you may want to reevaluate the strength of your relationship, and whether it should continue at all.

Doesn't "love" mean something stronger than "reasonable compatibility" and "luck?" Again, this is a question each person has to answer for themselves.

I didn't say that love IS being reasonably compatible. I said that you need to have love AND reasonable compatibility for a relationship to work.

Doesn't love mean something stronger than proximity? Which is more important to you, being together now, or building a future for yourself and your partner? If they're not willing to hold off on moving in together for a single year, in the interest of your shared future, perhaps you should reevaluate the strength of your relationship.