My personal statement so far...Am I at least heading in the right direction?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
bns0021

New
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jun 10, 2020 10:58 pm

My personal statement so far...Am I at least heading in the right direction?

Post by bns0021 » Sat Oct 10, 2020 4:41 pm

My personal statement is not complete. I have a few more paragraphs to add. I am planning on adding my experiences at the Innocence Project and how its made me realize how much impact and attorney can have on someones life, flaws within our criminal justice system, and how its ultimately made me passionate about pursuing public interest law.

I just wanted to see if I was at least heading in the right direction. I wanted to make it interesting to read in the sense that each event caused another event to happen type of thing.

Here's what I got so far:

I discovered my passion for public interest law during my sophomore year of college, after reading a book called “May God Have Mercy.” Based on a true story, the book, tells a story about a man, named Roger Coleman, who was wrongfully convicted of murder and given the death penalty. Although my initial interest in the book regarded the conception of wrongful convictions, what I took away most from this reading, was the remarkable efforts of Roger Colemans attorney, Kitty Behan. Kitty was a young lawyer with very little experience under her belt so many people were skeptical of her. Regardless of people’s doubts, she fought for Roger Colemans innocence for two years and even put her own health on the line.

Although Kitty was not successful in preventing Roger’s execution, I can’t help but to admire her resilience. She is a lawyer I aspire to be one day. Regardless of what other people thought about Roger Coleman, regardless of the doubtfulness of Kitty and her inexperience, she fought until the very last minute she could, for justice and for what she believed in.

Upon being inspired by this book, I was eager to learn more about the instances of wrongful convictions. During my research, I found out that my institutions law school had an entire clinic dedicated to overturning wrongful convictions. This came to my surprise because I had no idea how profound this issue was within our justice system. Fortuitously, this clinic was also accepting applications for a competitive internship. I immediately knew this was something I was interested in. Without hesitation, I submitted an application. Later that week, I was called in for an interview and was told I’d hear from them regarding their decision by the end of the week. The next few days, I was constantly checking my phone and had conducted in depth research about the organization and its mission. By this point, I was extremely invested. I wanted this internship more than anything.

A few days later, I was surrounded by my roommates when my phone began to ring. I shouted, “Oh my god, they’re calling!” all of them grew silent. I refrained from putting the phone call on speaker to save myself the embarrassment if I wasn’t offered the internship. I distinctly remember the moment my roommates realized I got the internship based on my response on the phone, when I said, “Thank you so much! I am so excited!” Their faces all lit up with joy. After the phone call ended, my roommates congratulated me while I took it all in. I had just been offered an internship at the West Virginia Innocence Project. I was so excited and so eager to get involved in this organization. I knew this was going to be something big for me.

CanadianWolf

Diamond
Posts: 10763
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: My personal statement so far...Am I at least heading in the right direction?

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Oct 12, 2020 11:06 am

Tough to get past the statement: "Although Kitty was not successful in preventing Roger's execution...."

Your law school application personal statement shows enthusiasm for your interest in attending law school and in pursuing public interest law as a public defender. That is good, but you need to write in a more succinct fashion.

The last paragraph that you shared is unnecessary, in my opinion.

User avatar
mjb447

Silver
Posts: 1389
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:36 am

Re: My personal statement so far...Am I at least heading in the right direction?

Post by mjb447 » Mon Oct 12, 2020 1:35 pm

I think I like the topic and general direction, but you'll probably ultimately want to cut a lot of what you have so far. Showing how each event caused another is fine up to a point, but I really don't think you need this level of detail concerning the book you read, the reasoning behind applying for this internship, AND how you felt about accepting the internship, especially since they all get at the same basic theme.

Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”