Yale 250 help

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Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2019 10:34 pm

Yale 250 help

Post by IsabelGao » Fri Jan 18, 2019 12:30 am

This is my first post :D Really need some feedback on my first draft.
I'm not a native and I know there must be some problem about expression (some "Chinglish" things). Please just tell me any thing wrong with this draft. Thanks in advance guys!

It may be hard to believe that I, the captain of school debate team, used to be a stutterer. From childhood, I had trouble speaking out a complete sentence at times, especially in the state of nervousness. My parents felt desperate when I repeated “I” for ten times and failed to say even one more word.
I cannot remember exactly what drove me to public speaking, but one thing is clear that I did not want to be among the “typical” stutterers who, trapped in their imperfection, become afraid of the crowd and choose to keep silence. It’s harder than I imagine when standing on stage. Every time I feel a deep sense of isolation: from judges, opponents, audience, and the whole world. Speaking requires intense struggle in my heart and initially I have to fight with myself and force her to open mouth. Sometimes I was grabbed by nervousness and failed to say a complete sentence before embarrassedly coming down. But whenever I devote wholeheartedly to my speech and keep my mind off those stammer things, I seem to get rid of it. Even though I still experience mental struggle before coming on stage, I am definitely improving. Every time I finish my speech successfully, I feel more confident and gain power to beat stammer.
Now I view my stammer as part of who I am. Both blessing and curse, stammer once made my life hard, but it drives me to where I am today.

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