Tear My PS to Shreds, Please Forum

[ReasonableStout]

Hey Folks. I'm looking to get some new eyes on my personal statement. Your honest reactions and/or critiques are greatly appreciated. Harsh criticism welcome!

"It came as a surprise when I found myself auditioning for the school musical in high school. I had never taken a drama class or been involved in a play up to this point. Nonetheless, my school was putting on a production of Little Shop of Horrors, and there I was standing in line, waiting to audition. I thought hanging around after school, portraying the illustrious role of Hobo #4 might be a fun. Plus there were several cute girls from my class also auditioning. The only problem with my plan was I did not get the Hobo #4 part. Instead I was assigned the lead role of the play.

After retrieving my jaw from the floor, I went to see the drama teacher to ask if there was some mistake. She told me that she saw a piece of the character in me. Even though I had less acting prowess than a lawyer in one of those horrible daytime television commercials, she was willing to take a chance on me. She said she could teach me the acting skills if I was prepared to put in the work. I hesitantly agreed, and set forth on a journey of newfound passion.

The first step was memorizing my lines, seventy pages of dialog in all. From there I spent months running the script, practicing blocking, sitting-in on drama classes and private lessons. All of that in addition to play practice every day after school. It was grueling, but in the end, so worthwhile. The countless hours of work paid off in the form of a new perspective, lasting friendships, and a kick-ass show.

University of Texas School of Law is an impressive institution for many reasons. In addition to the laundry list of academic offerings and achievements, UT Law has a really cool theater troupe, Assault and Flattery. I have spent an embarrassing amount of time watching and laughing at A&F YouTube videos. The culture of University of Texas School of Law appreciates and encourages this type of student group. That is a huge benefit for me and helps to illustrate why UT Law is one of my top choices.

Applying to University of Texas School of Law feels a lot like auditioning for a musical with no theater experience. Here I am, with very little legal knowledge, asking for a place to learn and grow. I cannot promise that I will speak fluent legalese when I enter law school. But I can promise that I have a deep passion for pursuing a legal education and that I will commit myself wholeheartedly to my passions."

[cavalier1138]

Well, since you asked: there's literally nothing redeeming about this PS except that it's free of any glaring grammatical errors.

Godawful choice of topic, trite, unrelated to the law, picks out a student group totally unrelated to the practice of law as a primary reason for wanting to go to a top-tier school, doesn't give me any insight into you as a person, implies that the rest of your application doesn't show that you have the right qualities to attend law school, reads like a bad college admissions essay...

Seriously, don't run with this topic. If you're going to talk about something that happened to you in high school, it had better be something that has some relevance to your life after high school. Unless you're pursuing acting on some kind of professional level (or at the very least heavily pursued theatre in college), this should not be your topic. And if you are still pursuing acting, then you need to explain how you reached the decision to apply to law school. This doesn't come close.

[ReasonableStout]

Seriously, don't run with this topic.

Believe it or not, I agree with you. I'm not really happy with this topic, I just sort of stumbled on it because I saw that UT Law has a cool theater group. I did continue theater a bit in college, but it's not really an outstanding quality about me.

What I'm struggling with is finding a compelling writing topic. I've had an easy ride so far in life. Not many notable events or experiences that come to mind.

Do you have any advice on finding inspiration for a personal statement topic? I appreciate your blatant honesty!

[cavalier1138]

Well, why do you want to go to law school?

[ReasonableStout]

I want to go to law school because I want to be a lawyer.

I love communicating in all forms: reading, writing, speaking. And using my communications skills to solve problems puts a smile on my face. I want to learn to be a better communicator and a better problem solver... and above all, I want a career where I get to uses those skills on a daily basis. My gut is telling me that law is the right place to form that career.

[Gitaroo_Dude]

Like Cav said, I think it's a bad idea to talk about high school experiences, unless it was something legitimately life altering.

You said you continued theater in college though. Did you participate in any productions or shows on campus, get involved with that scene, etc? It may not necessarily need to be an outstanding quality of yours, as long as it's an interesting one I would think, if it could be presented well. I'm wondering if you could possibly try and connect your passion for theater to your desire to pursue law as a career (without mentioning UT's theater org). Maybe something along the lines of your college theater experience really bringing out your passion for communication, presentation, and working with others, then talking about how you were always interested in certain related aspects of the law, and now theater has equipped you with skills you think will help you in your goal of going to law school and becoming a lawyer?

That said, what do you consider your best qualities to be? At the end of the day you want to present the best version of yourself and demonstrate to the admission committee that you're a strong candidate for their school.

[ArtistOfManliness]

Call me crazy, but I kind of liked it... with a little more tie in to college. I'd definitely not include the comment about cute girls (even if not slightly offensive, it shows ignorance of the current climate regarding sexual assault and harassment on college campuses to even put it in an essay) or the phrase "kick-ass."

I think you could shorten up the lead-up a little bit and draw more analogies to the law and selling yourself, but I don't hate the basic idea.

[cavalier1138]

I want to go to law school because I want to be a lawyer.

I love communicating in all forms: reading, writing, speaking. And using my communications skills to solve problems puts a smile on my face. I want to learn to be a better communicator and a better problem solver... and above all, I want a career where I get to uses those skills on a daily basis. My gut is telling me that law is the right place to form that career.

This is still pretty general. What kind of problems do you want to solve through communication? And why be a lawyer instead of a therapist/social worker/marriage counselor/any other job that lets you solve problems through communication?

[zeglo]

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[darthlawyer]

awesome ps. submit as is.