removed, thanks all. Forum

[trkmaniak00]

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[EnfieldTennisChamp]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened.

As a 'retired' runner, I do appreciate the whole shoes thing. I think that would resonate with other runners, but may have quite limited impact beyond that demographic. Nevertheless, I think this metaphor/analogy of the shoes to your life struggles and accomplishments is legitimate. However, I think that you spend too much space developing the metaphorical side, i.e. details about your actual shoes, rather than developing the details of what the wear-and-tear on the shoes represents. You mention your athletic competitions/achievements but I think that could be more impactful if you added some concrete details. "at nationals in 07, i faced situation X and learned Y." "competing in d1 t&f presented struggle X and i learned Y."
like you said, i think your essay lacks detail about yourself. apply some of that concrete descriptiveness that you effectively use to develop your metaphor to describing your actual real life situations.

I would also spend more space with the "why law school" stuff. Again, concrete details are your friend. The lawyer did accomplish some good things, but listing a couple specific acts or statements or whatever that really struck you is going to be more memorable.

hope that helps a little! sorry about lazy typing - on an unfamiliar keyboard and got too tired of fiddling around for apostrophes and capitalization.

[oshberg28]

Excellent PS - I am going to disagree with the previous poster; I don't think there is any need to expand on "why law", as your entire PS helps elucidate that without directly stating so, which is what a good PS should do.

[Philafaler]

Removed.

[trkmaniak00]

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