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[Olliedemars]

I find this to be charming and fun as a piece of writing. However, the qualities that you highlight in yourself--anxiety paired with a propensity for making bizarre requests--aren't necessarily qualities AdComms would value.

As an outsider, I read this & think 'What a smart, interesting guy'...but it doesn't make me want to have you as a colleague/student/peer.

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[alohakehau]

Agreed. Also, your language comes off as a little pretentious. Sometimes simpler is better. Overall, very intriguing though.

[Alive97]

I don't know if your PS caused an underperforming cycle but I would rework it. I don't think the topic of purposely learning to accept rejection is a bad one. But just saying that you did so and then gained self-confidence and had interesting experiences may not say enough for a PS. For one thing it does not connect your growth to legal employment or study. While that may not be absolutely necessary in a PS, it certainly is one path to take. It sounds to me like a good theme would be courage, and to cut the line that says these things might not sound like much to an outside observer. For someone with your pre-existing anxieties, to be in a foreign land and do this does in fact require a radical change. So maybe, the courage to reinvent yourself, or something along those lines.

I'm not sure if the police car story should necessarily be cut but I would make its introduction more brief. One opening sentence about being in a police car with certain sounds and whatnot, then move right into the rest of the story and points.

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[Alive97]

Personally I didn't find it to be pretentious.

[alohakehau]

Agreed. Also, your language comes off as a little pretentious. Sometimes simpler is better. Overall, very intriguing though.

Do you mean that the subject matter and essay theme make me sound like a pretentious individual? Or that my language and voice sound pretentious? Either way, that's not a criticism I have considered before.

Definitely not the subject matter. I genuinely thought your experiment was interesting. Maybe not what the law schools are looking for, but unique. I'm talking about phrasing like: "eschewing even mundane social interactions." Maybe just simplify your essay a little bit, considering the subject matter is already so out of the ordinary. Just a suggestion.

[Olliedemars]

Ah. So you still see 'anxiety' in this? That's.... pretty much the polar opposite of what I had hoped to convey.

It's clear at the end you feel like you've transformed for the better.
But it's a 'methinks the lady doth protest too much' deal. If you say you used to be cripplingly reserved, but then outline how you used socially odd behavior to free yourself from your shyness, that's naturally going to cause the reader to wonder how you'll act at a social mixer--or an OCI--now.

I say this as someone who a nervous mess at those sorts of things, too, so I feel your pain!

[HYPSM]

No offense, but I got the impression that you were trying hard to sound intelligent, and it was difficult to get through because some parts were needlessly and awkwardly verbose (in an unrefined way).

But more importantly, you come off as being a little bizarre/weird and potentially creepy (not trying to be rude).

With your LSAT score, you don't really need a risky PS to land a splitter-friendly T-14 law school, so I think you should be taking a different approach to this.

[HYPSM]

Agreed. Also, your language comes off as a little pretentious. Sometimes simpler is better. Overall, very intriguing though.

Do you mean that the subject matter and essay theme make me sound like a pretentious individual? Or that my language and voice sound pretentious? Either way, that's not a criticism I have considered before.

Definitely not the subject matter. I genuinely thought your experiment was interesting. Maybe not what the law schools are looking for, but unique. I'm talking about phrasing like: "eschewing even mundane social interactions." Maybe just simplify your essay a little bit, considering the subject matter is already so out of the ordinary. Just a suggestion.

I COMPLETELY agree.

"eschewing even mundane social interactions" --> When I read this, I immediately though "what the heck...?" because of how awkward it sounded. And this is considering the fact that I tried to be as open-minded as possible. Now imagine what an admissions officer is thinking.

[jflaw]

How late did you apply? It seems odd that you wouldn't get any better offers with that high of a score, unless your sub 3.0 was closer to a 2.0. All the above comments are correct, you need to write more concisely, you want to be a lawyer not a novelist. I would also consider changing your topic to something that better highlights why schools should look less at your GPA. While you should definitely write an addendum, your personal statement is also a great place for it since that is obviously the black mark on your application.

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[brush]

I sank into the dark leather of the police cruiser interior

ya i stopped reading there

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[jphiggo]

I think whatever value someone like Mike Spivey could bring to the table would likely be realized for you in your situation. Have you looked into admissions consulting?

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[lurklaw]

I mean, you're literally suggesting to schools that you would personally benefit from them rejecting you. I don't mean to discount your progress, but you need to find another topic to write about.

Best of luck.

[jflaw]

How late did you apply? It seems odd that you wouldn't get any better offers with that high of a score, unless your sub 3.0 was closer to a 2.0. All the above comments are correct, you need to write more concisely, you want to be a lawyer not a novelist. I would also consider changing your topic to something that better highlights why schools should look less at your GPA. While you should definitely write an addendum, your personal statement is also a great place for it since that is obviously the black mark on your application.

Mid-November. Besides the WashU full ride, I got UVA at sticker, and good money at Vandy and Emory and W&M. My application was weak, though, since I did zero supplemental essays and did not include an addendum for my GPA.

By the way, conventional wisdom holds that the PS should be used to highlight positive aspects of your application, not to try and justify or excuse the negative aspects.. So I would probably caution you against advising people to use their personal statements to address the 'obvious black marks' in their applications. Unless I'm misunderstanding your suggestion.

My apologies, I didn't know I was talking to a law school admissions expert. In my personal statement I talked about how I struggled during the beginning of UG but was able to overcome it and become not only a better student, but a better overall person. Law schools seemed to have enjoyed it.

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[jflaw]

My apologies, I didn't know I was talking to a law school admissions expert. In my personal statement I talked about how I struggled during the beginning of UG but was able to overcome it and become not only a better student, but a better overall person. Law schools seemed to have enjoyed it.

I'm not claiming to be an expert, just stating what seems to be conventional wisdom on this board. If you look up the TLS guide to personal statement writing, and look at their list of things "Not to do," the very first thing they say is

1. Do not focus upon your weaknesses! Almost every applicant has some aspect of their application, such as a low LSAT score or GPA, which they view as a flaw. Discussing this weakness will only highlight it. Instead, write about the traits and characteristics that define you as an individual and showcase what you will bring to that law school. Your tone should be confident and positive. If you do have a weakness to address, such as a severe illness resulting in poor grades for a semester or a documented history of doing poorly on standardized tests with their not truly reflecting your potential, write about this in an addendum.

Obviously don't focus on your weaknesses only, but writing something about how you used to be unmotivated, but working for the last few years really gave you perspective and encouraged you to work harder, built you into a better person is something admission counselors would care a whole lot more about than your social awkwardness. They want to know that you won't flunk out.

[personofinterest]

Besides the WashU full ride, I got UVA at sticker, and good money at Vandy and Emory and W&M.

Those results seems pretty normal for super splitters: NU is the most likely of the T14 to take you, then UVA. I don't think you are likely to do any better next year. Do you have a reason to think you will get a scholarship from a T14?

If I were you, I would pick between wash U, UVA, and never going to law school. Personal circumstances and goals can help you make that decision. I wouldn't worry about your PS. Also, try asking UVA for money if you haven't yet.

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