Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
biomed123

New
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 22, 2015 9:30 pm

Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by biomed123 » Sat Feb 06, 2016 12:17 pm

Hey all I am applying to a few T14 and then some T20 schools with a few safeties. I am concerned my essay may be a little on the short side but I think I have covered myself pretty sufficiently any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
After spending the last six years of my life conducting scientific research, I came to the realization that my dream of advancing cost effective medical treatment was based much more on legal battles than scientific ones. There is currently a large gap dividing the scientists who research and discover medical treatments and the pharmaceutical companies that market and sell those treatments. Understanding the legal complexities involved in getting those medications from the laboratory into the hands of people that need them is arguably the most important aspect of bringing a drug to market. I have spent my education researching Alzheimer’s disease. My time spent researching has revealed to me many flaws in the drug development pipeline. I believe that through a legal career I can work to correct these flaws.
I chose to focus my research on Alzheimer's disease because I understood the enormous toll of this still mysterious disease. Alzheimer's disease affects over 5 million Americans and no effective treatments exist. In my research, I attempted to examine the disease from a different angle to better understand how to treat it. Previous treatments would regularly work on mice, but would ultimately fail in humans. In order to understand this treatment failure, we focused our efforts on understanding how shifts in tiny protein structures in the brain could potentially affect the disease. By looking at these protein structures we were able to gain a more clear understanding of how they affect the brain as a whole during the disease. After years and multiple experiments, our lab developed a much better understanding of how these structures are involved in the development of the disease.
I am currently finishing my doctoral thesis and will be defending it in the coming month. Throughout the process of developing my thesis I have sharpened my critical thinking and logical reasoning skills. I am ready to take the skills I have developed in the scientific field and apply them to a legal education. If admitted to Emory Law, I will bring a diverse and unique perspective to classroom discussions and the student body. I hope to be given the opportunity to develop the skills necessary to make a genuine impact in the medical field.

Thanks all

User avatar
FuturePanhandler

Silver
Posts: 907
Joined: Tue Apr 08, 2014 9:31 pm

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by FuturePanhandler » Sat Feb 06, 2016 12:55 pm

No.

WatchClosely

Bronze
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:26 am

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by WatchClosely » Sun Feb 07, 2016 2:01 pm

.
Last edited by WatchClosely on Wed Feb 22, 2017 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

kcdc1

Silver
Posts: 992
Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 6:48 am

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by kcdc1 » Sun Feb 07, 2016 2:42 pm

1. Ignore grammar dude above. That sentence doesn't need a comma.

2. Add detail. Briefly explain what you're researching. Briefly explain one example of the legal problems you see. The explanations need to laid out carefully -- you want to be clear and jargon-free, but you don't want to talk down. Assume your reader is smart and capable of understanding, but has no background knowledge and isn't interested in reading more than two sentences on the topic.

WatchClosely

Bronze
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2015 4:26 am

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by WatchClosely » Sun Feb 07, 2016 3:05 pm

.
Last edited by WatchClosely on Wed Feb 22, 2017 2:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

Want to continue reading?

Register now to search topics and post comments!

Absolutely FREE!


kcdc1

Silver
Posts: 992
Joined: Fri Jan 03, 2014 6:48 am

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by kcdc1 » Sun Feb 07, 2016 4:09 pm

WatchClosely wrote:I recognize that username. You're one of the few massive splitters from a few cycles ago whose numbers actually resembled mine.
Yeah, looks like your GPA was better tho. Undergrad gunner. Good luck w/ apps. Feel free to PM me if you wind up choosing between NU and UVA.

lujk

New
Posts: 16
Joined: Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:03 am

Re: Is this too short? Advice greatly appreciated

Post by lujk » Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:05 am

WatchClosely wrote:I guess you're right; that comma isn't technically necessary, but I still feel that omitting commas before the conjunctions separating independent clauses reads sloppily.
You would be right, except that conjunction isn't separating independent clauses, it's separating two verbs that have the same subject.

Want to continue reading?

Register for access!

Did I mention it was FREE ?


Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”