Is this PS unique and interesting? Forum

[Anonymous User]

Very interested to hear comments on this. I decided to write about something I am passionate about, but let me know if it seems out of place and not relevant. Any comments are welcome. Thanks.



In a world filled with stereotypes, prejudices, and discrimination, who stands out? Is it the person who turns on the news on television and automatically adopts the beliefs of the commentator, or is it the person who is able to see the story from another point of view or another person’s shoes? It’s the latter—the critical thinker. These are the people who can challenge what they hear and because of that, they are the ones who can make changes for the better in society. Fortunately, I was able to adopt this trait through life experiences.

It all started with a mission trip I signed up for through my church a few years ago. I grew up in a neighborhood that lacked diversity so I was ready to branch out and meet new people outside of my city, and this was the perfect opportunity. The destination was rural West Virginia and the job was to refurbish mobile homes in a low-income community. On the first day, my church group sat down and talked with the family whose home we would be working on. I remember being uncomfortable when we first arrived at the mobile home. It was like nothing I had seen before. There was wallpaper peeling off of the wall, holes in the furniture, and the carpet looked like it hadn’t been replaced in decades. I remember thinking, “what kind of people treat their house like this?” For the next few days, we would paint, clean and renovate the home.

During the week, I started to slowly come out of my shell and had long conversations with the family. I started to get to know them on a personal level. I found out that the woman, who appeared to be in her mid-forties, had been battling a form of cancer for the last four years and they had a difficult time paying their medical bills and consequently had to live on almost no money. This completely changed my perception of these people. Instead of viewing them as lazy people who couldn’t take care of their own home, I now viewed them as genuinely good people who had some bad luck in their lives and needed a little bit of help in a difficult time. It gave me energy knowing that I was making a difference in these people’s lives and it caused me to step up and lead my group for the remaining days. I empathized with these people and this is when everything changed for me.
Since this experience, I always look at a story from both sides before forming judgments about a person or a group of people. Recently, I have developed an interest in the topic of discrimination against Muslims in western societies like the United States. Many people don’t realize that Islamophobia is a growing issue in the United States. With each terrorist attack that is carried out by a Muslim, more people in the United States assume that Islam is a violent religion and that all Muslims are violent people. We even have a presidential candidate who is proposing banning Muslims from practicing their religion in mosques across the United States. The reason why this is such a big deal to me is because I know that these perceptions of Muslims and of Islam are completely wrong. This is similar to my mission trip experience because it is easy for people to believe what they see on the news and form inaccurate perceptions of these people, but if you truly take the time to get to know them, your perception of them will change.
I have had the pleasure of having Muslim professors and Muslim classmates and I can say that they are some of the most genuinely nice people you will ever meet. One of my good friends at Kansas State University is from Saudi Arabia. He will often tell stories of him boarding airplanes and when he walks down the aisle, nearly everyone will look at him with concern in their eyes like he’s going to carry out an attack. If people put themselves in his shoes and imagine that situation, I think they would understand how damaging these stereotypes and perceptions are.

Representing people who are misperceived by society is precisely what I am interested in doing as a lawyer. The reason why I bring up the issue of discrimination against Muslim Americans is because I think that in my lifetime it is going to be a huge issue, and it is only getting worse. As more refugees move from war-torn countries like Syria, they will need to be properly integrated into countries like the United States and they are going to need representation to ensure that they are treated fairly. It’s hard to know exactly what path I will take after I graduate from law school, but I can assure you that my passion for helping those in need and being able to see a story from multiple perspectives will make me a successful lawyer and a valuable addition to the classroom.

Last Paragraph will be customized to the school I am applying to

[anpansmash]

I believe that it is a great paper on the injustice that Muslim Americans receive due to prejudice and misconceived beliefs. That does not make it a good personal statement as there's really nothing I got about you besides your stance on this issue. To be fair, you are teetering a line of politics that may turn away some schools.

[CPAlawHopefu]

1. Introduction is an attention grabber, so good job. But take out "It’s the latter—the critical thinker". This downplays the effect of the rhetorical question posed in the introduction.

2. You need to mention why specifically the Muslim Americans that you want to represent. Your overall theme centers around the lesson you learned about making sure to look at the world from unprejudiced, unbiased perspective in order to avoid pre-mature judgment. This can apply to people of any race, religion, sexual orientation, and socio-economic level around the world, yet you emphasized Muslim Americans. Why is this? Are you a Muslim as well? Or do you have some personal anecdote that involves war refugees? Or have you faced any discrimination yourself in the past? You need to tell us these things.

3. As anpanshmash mentions, it's very risky to mention your political stance on a PS.

"We even have a presidential candidate who is proposing banning Muslims from practicing their religion in mosques across the United States. The reason why this is such a big deal to me is because I know that these perceptions of Muslims and of Islam are completely wrong."

" As more refugees move from war-torn countries like Syria, they will need to be properly integrated into countries like the United States and they are going to need representation to ensure that they are treated fairly. "

I'd get rid of all these.


4. Your conclusion (especially the last sentence) is very bland and generic. You mention that you aren't certain about what to do after getting a law degree. This is a MAJOR red flag. You want to persuade the adcom that you NEED (not just want) the law degree. You don't need a law degree to "represent" people - you can be a journalist and tell stories of their hardship, a teacher to educate the especially underprivileged children, or apply for PeaceCorps and do good things around the world. You show almost no reason why being a lawyer is necessary to reach your goal.