Personal Statement Review. I'm about to hit send but I'm scared! Forum

[nikey11!]

deleted.

[Liz18]

You are definitely a good writer. And I'm no personal statement expert, but from my quick read through, my main thought is that I still don't know who YOU are.

Sure, you have told me about many events in your life, but some parts are a little resume-y and perhaps less reflective than they could be. I've learned a lot about your family, but I don't know how you think. I would rather hear less about family history (a bit is good background info though), and then I would want to hear how that has affected you in your life and how those effects will bring something unique to the law school.

I hope my comments make sense. Good luck!

[Big Red]

Great, ready to send.

IMO you should remove the "(1983-2009)" bit, breaks with the flow of the paragraph and I'm pretty sure anyone reading this is going to look up and learn anyway

best of luck

[oreomilkshake]

You are definitely a good writer. And I'm no personal statement expert, but from my quick read through, my main thought is that I still don't know who YOU are.

Sure, you have told me about many events in your life, but some parts are a little resume-y and perhaps less reflective than they could be. I've learned a lot about your family, but I don't know how you think. I would rather hear less about family history (a bit is good background info though), and then I would want to hear how that has affected you in your life and how those effects will bring something unique to the law school.

I hope my comments make sense. Good luck!

+1