Final edits for PS... (God-willing) Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
LawSchoolHopeful77

New
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:41 pm

Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by LawSchoolHopeful77 » Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:10 pm

[deleted]
Last edited by LawSchoolHopeful77 on Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
TheRealSantaClaus

Bronze
Posts: 152
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 4:44 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by TheRealSantaClaus » Mon Dec 14, 2015 5:16 pm

.
Last edited by TheRealSantaClaus on Tue Jun 28, 2016 1:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

LawSchoolHopeful77

New
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by LawSchoolHopeful77 » Sat Dec 19, 2015 5:11 pm

[deleted]
Last edited by LawSchoolHopeful77 on Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

iamapipersson

New
Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:19 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by iamapipersson » Sun Dec 20, 2015 4:58 am

LOLOLOLOLOL

User avatar
Emma.

Gold
Posts: 2408
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 7:57 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by Emma. » Sun Dec 20, 2015 10:47 am

Don't submit this.

Want to continue reading?

Register now to search topics and post comments!

Absolutely FREE!


LawSchoolHopeful77

New
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by LawSchoolHopeful77 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:32 am

[deleted]
Last edited by LawSchoolHopeful77 on Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

LawSchoolHopeful77

New
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by LawSchoolHopeful77 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 11:32 am

[deleted]
Last edited by LawSchoolHopeful77 on Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
cheesy143

New
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by cheesy143 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:07 pm

So I guess my first concern would be how you describe the mechanics. This might just be my opinion but it seemed a little belittling of them. I don't think that was your intention at all but when you described how surprised you were that they kept showing up to work or about the"hardships" they faced I think it could come off the wrong way. I mean obviously its hard work but it's not like they're dying in a third world. They have a good job and a lot of them make good money and are happy so I would try to tweak the wording a little.

LawSchoolHopeful77

New
Posts: 12
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:41 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by LawSchoolHopeful77 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:10 pm

[deleted]
Last edited by LawSchoolHopeful77 on Wed Jan 27, 2016 6:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Want to continue reading?

Register for access!

Did I mention it was FREE ?


User avatar
cheesy143

New
Posts: 58
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2015 10:04 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by cheesy143 » Mon Dec 21, 2015 12:20 pm

LawSchoolHopeful77 wrote:
cheesy143 wrote:So I guess my first concern would be how you describe the mechanics. This might just be my opinion but it seemed a little belittling of them. I don't think that was your intention at all but when you described how surprised you were that they kept showing up to work or about the"hardships" they faced I think it could come off the wrong way. I mean obviously its hard work but it's not like they're dying in a third world. They have a good job and a lot of them make good money and are happy so I would try to tweak the wording a little.
Definitely see what you mean. Was trying to walk a fine line on that description and I guess it still needs some work. For sure do not want to make it seem that way. Everything else look okay?
Yea it's a hard line to walk. I know what you meant. A lot of my family members are mechanics and they are all very hard workers. Maybe talk about learning from their work ethic more than their hardships and your point would come across better.

Other than that I think just read it out loud and hear where it sounds awkward and fine tune it. If you had a specific story to back up your points that might beef it up too

iamapipersson

New
Posts: 56
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 5:19 pm

Re: Final edits for PS... (God-willing)

Post by iamapipersson » Wed Dec 23, 2015 4:20 pm

LawSchoolHopeful77 wrote:
cheesy143 wrote:So I guess my first concern would be how you describe the mechanics. This might just be my opinion but it seemed a little belittling of them. I don't think that was your intention at all but when you described how surprised you were that they kept showing up to work or about the"hardships" they faced I think it could come off the wrong way. I mean obviously its hard work but it's not like they're dying in a third world. They have a good job and a lot of them make good money and are happy so I would try to tweak the wording a little.
Definitely see what you mean. Was trying to walk a fine line on that description and I guess it still needs some work. For sure do not want to make it seem that way. Everything else look okay?
Rewrite it completely.

Register now!

Resources to assist law school applicants, students & graduates.

It's still FREE!


Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”