PS First (Very Rough) Draft - Comments Welcomed Forum

[PhysicistLawyer]

Below is my first attempt at a personal statement for my law school applications. I am not particularly happy with the way it turned out. I think there are several things wrong with it. But, I thought it would be a good idea to post it here in order to get the input of others so that I can better refine/rewrite it.

In general, my idea was to use my physics education/research to demonstrate that I have the skills necessary for law school and also to show where my interest for IP law comes from (i.e. why law school?). I think my introduction is pretty bland. If anyone has suggestions for how to spice it up, please let me know. Structurally it's a bit all over the place.

PS Rough Draft:

At freshman orientation at the University at XX (XX), the upperclassman who led our orientation group in various team building activities discussed how important it was for us, as incoming freshman, to take advantage of all the opportunities that XX would offer over the course of our time at the University. We were encouraged to go beyond simply getting our degrees – to do more. I took this advice to heart; “do more” became the mantra of my undergraduate education.

As a large, public research institution, XX offers the opportunity for undergraduate students to participate in research projects with distinguished faculty from all departments. In the spirit of doing more, I got involved in undergraduate physics research with Professor XX the summer following my freshman year at XX. Over the past three and a half years, I have continued to work closely with Professor XX as a member of his research group and recently coauthored a journal article with him in the American Physical Society’s Physical Review E.

Professor XX had publications dating back to well before I was born and patents to compliment his impressive portfolio of research. He was upfront about his expectations of students in his research group – there would be no kid gloves when it came to physics research at the cutting edge of the field. I was expected to be as valuable to the research group as a graduate student. It was a tall order, but I was up to the task.

I spent countless hours on the upper floors of XX Hall learning about the intricacies of nanoparticle simulations by thoroughly examining the research performed by other physicists in the field. Through my physics research, I gained valuable analyzation and critical reading experience. After becoming immersed in the body of past research, I moved on to performing computer simulations of nanoparticles collisions in order to gather data on the nature of nanoparticle interactions that experimental physicists may have overlooked. Hidden in the terabytes of numbers generated by the computer simulations was the evidence of nanoparticle properties that had yet to be discovered – but needed to be reported.

The discovery of this new knowledge would be meaningless unless it was communicated effectively. After presenting my research at XX’s Celebration of Academic Excellence and the 2014 National XX Undergraduate Research Conference, I was poised to present my research to the physics community at large by submitting to a peer-reviewed physics journal. The process of co-authoring a journal article required numerous rewrites, rewordings, and general revisions which required me to view our research problem from various angles in order to infer ways that our article could be critiqued in the peer-review process. The publication of the journal article titled “XX” represents the culmination of more than three years of dedication to physics research.

Discussions with Professor XX throughout my undergraduate career about the various projects he has worked on in the past led to my interest in pursuing intellectual property law – specifically patent law. Patent law lives at the interaction of science and law, and must walk the fine line between encouraging and inhibiting innovation. My background in physics places me in a unique position relative to other law school applicants. My undergraduate physics education encouraged and grew the kinds of skills that are necessary for me to succeed in law school including: problem solving, critical thinking, reasoning, and complex analysis. I am poised to transfer the skills I have learned throughout my undergraduate career as a mathematical physics major to excel as a law school student.

[mynameismyname]

I would vote no because it sounds like a resume... I'm an 0l also but I think they want to know what makes you "you" and not a regugitation of your resume. If it were me, I would talk about my introduction to my love of science and math, transition to physics, and explain how that experience could make me a great ip lawyer. Many top law school students have credentials... The essay doesn't stand out amongst many.

[PhysicistLawyer]

I would vote no because it sounds like a resume... I'm an 0l also but I think they want to know what makes you "you" and not a regugitation of your resume. If it were me, I would talk about my introduction to my love of science and math, transition to physics, and explain how that experience could make me a great ip lawyer. Many top law school students have credentials... The essay doesn't stand out amongst many.

I was worried about there not being enough about me as a person. You're right - it does read like I am just regurgitating parts of my resume.

[joeycxxxx09]

I think you should focus less on what you did, but rather make the focus of this how it affected you/how these experiences made you want to attend law school. Talk about how these experiences put you in a position to want to be a lawyer/ how they will make you a better lawyer.

[mynameismyname]

Also make the part about your professor more compact like 1-2 sentences... This statement is about you. There is a prominent or field leading faculty member at every top 100 undergrad. Talk instead about the science that excites you, inspires you, and motivates you. Talk about how that love of science transfer to the legal world. Why do you want to a JD more than a PhD??? Explain that without using those exact words. People love when they feel like they have insight on people and know what fuels them or makes them tick. I know this probably sounds like something Drake would say but the ps is meant to be a deep introspective reflection of yourself about how you fit in the world. It's a love story without romance. When a person reads your statement they should feel like they just had a beer at a pub with you and they know exactly where you are from and where you are headed in a heartfelt way. Good luck but back to the drawing board.

[PhysicistLawyer]

I think you should focus less on what you did, but rather make the focus of this how it affected you/how these experiences made you want to attend law school. Talk about how these experiences put you in a position to want to be a lawyer/ how they will make you a better lawyer.

I definitely did a poor job of connecting the dots between physics and law school. Thanks for your input.

[PhysicistLawyer]

Also make the part about your professor more compact like 1-2 sentences... This statement is about you. There is a prominent or field leading faculty member at every top 100 undergrad. Talk instead about the science that excites you, inspires you, and motivates you. Talk about how that love of science transfer to the legal world. Why do you want to a JD more than a PhD??? Explain that without using those exact words. People love when they feel like they have insight on people and know what fuels them or makes them tick. I know this probably sounds like something Drake would say but the ps is meant to be a deep introspective reflection of yourself about how you fit in the world. It's a love story without romance. When a person reads your statement they should feel like they just had a beer at a pub with you and they know exactly where you are from and where you are headed in a heartfelt way. Good luck but back to the drawing board.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Thinking of the PS of more of a reflection than a list of reasons why I think I am qualified will help me in rewriting.