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[Kclol]

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[seashell.economy]

This is a great PS. It is an incredible experience that most people will not be able to write about, and I think it makes you stand out in a strong way. The only two things I would change is 1) adding a few more sentences onto the very end of your essay to further draw out the connections you make from working as an agricultural laborer to your interest in attending law school and 2) as much as I agree with this statement: "I am happy to say that I have been required to take one of the jobs that your average American is “too lazy to do” and emerged a better person because of it" I would remove it. It presents a more confrontational tone than the overall positive and humble tone of your essay. Even though I agree with the sentiment, I think your essay is stronger without it. Good luck!

[Kclol]

Thank you for your response seashell. I will definitely try and find a way to talk about why my experiences working in the fields is linked to my decision to attend law school.

"I am happy to say that I have been required to take one of the jobs that your average American is “too lazy to do” and emerged a better person because of it"

The idea behind this sentence was that although i am very liberal and although my essay expresses liberal opinions that this sentence might speak to a more conservative readership. Im toying with it at the moment. Does hearing the reason why i chose to say this alter your opinions of it or do you still think it should be removed?

[kfh37]

I'd cut the sentence mentioned above. I'd also start the essay with the second paragraph, and weave in any relevant info from the first paragraph later in the statement.

[cbbinnyc]

Overall, this is a strong statement. I agree with all of Seashell's comments. (Definitely get rid of the "too lazy" sentence.)

In addition to generally touching up grammar and style, you should rewrite the opening paragraph. The first sentence is fluff (and probably untrue for many law school applicants who have likely been working hard most summers, even in their youth). Reword the second sentence - being a teacher working for an hourly wage doesn't mean you "need" to find a temporary summer job. Also, unnecessary to point out how "easy" it was to get the job. For my money, I'd be interested to hear a slightly more detailed explanation of why you took that job (seems strange to me that an educator would be unable to get anything besides a minimum-wage job in agriculture) ... but maybe I'm just out of touch.

[Kclol]

Haha yeah, thank you for the comments you guys. I agree with your comments about the first paragraph. I wrote it like that originally because i needed to put something on a blank page