Personal Statement on AmeriCorps service Forum

[Theresa87]

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[Kclol]

Either a minor error that you overlooked or possibly your style of writing..

The guidance counselors worked with over five hundred students each, and naturally many, many students suffered from missing information.

many, many is too many manys

[cbbinnyc]

The topic is good, potential to be a strong statement.

You need somebody to go over this in detail for style and grammar. There are many tense errors, subject-verb agreement problems, and other miscellaneous errors or awkwardly worded sentences.

Also - this may have partially been because your PS looks like one long paragraph on here - it could use some tightening up and trimming. Felt a bit disorganized.

[Theresa87]

The topic is good, potential to be a strong statement.

You need somebody to go over this in detail for style and grammar. There are many tense errors, subject-verb agreement problems, and other miscellaneous errors or awkwardly worded sentences.

Also - this may have partially been because your PS looks like one long paragraph on here - it could use some tightening up and trimming. Felt a bit disorganized.

Thanks. I am going to go over it for grammar and cut it down. I just wanted to make sure the overall topic and tone sounded okay before I polished it.