Final Draft. About to pull the trigger on submitting! Honest opinions and advice would be greatly appreciated! Forum

[kkrunner]

LSAT: 163
LSDAS GPA: 3.05
Target Schools: UGA, UNC, WAKE


“BEEP...BEEP...BEEP,” roared the sound of my alarm as I briskly emerged from a deep sleep. I looked over at the clock. It read 5:30am, just like it had countless other mornings. As usual, my body was resistant to getting out of bed. “What could five more minutes hurt?” it pleaded. However, my mind knew it was time to begin the day, as greatness wastes no time on the lazy. I climbed out of bed and prepared for my routine morning run.

For many years, running comprised a large part of my personal identity. My life revolved around training, and racing was my motivation. It’s hard to describe the mixture of adrenaline and mental clarity felt when stepping onto the starting line, just moments before a race official raises the gun. While thoughts of personal goals and ambitions would often float through my mind, I could never forget that I was always racing for something greater than myself. In my high school days, I knew that I was counted on to lead my team and, at every level, to represent the name adorned on my racing singlet. Above all, I wished to bring my high school its first individual state title. Over time, I could feel this goal becoming closer and closer within reach.

On a crisp November morning, I had finally won the South Carolina cross-country state championship. The spoils of my efforts came as a medal around my neck and a steady stream of scholarship offers in the mail. It was a dream come true, and for a while, I felt invincible. At times, I’d even find myself fantasizing of potential Olympic endeavors, or which shoe company I’d be sponsored by.

These dreams all changed the day I was diagnosed with my first stress fracture. I was devastated. After months of grinding out miles and building up confidence, it felt as if someone had simply pressed the reset button. This chronic condition followed me into collegiate athletics where a summer spent running eighty miles a week would all be lost in just one trip to the doctor’s office. While fighting to stay healthy and competitive at the division one level, I found myself falling behind for the first time academically, struggling to level out the equal obligations that a student-athlete endures.

After a long career with many highs and lows, and with my future in mind, I made the tough decision to hang up my racing spikes in order to focus on school. Since that day, I have taken off and have not looked back. It was strange at first. My once unceasing schedule was suddenly replaced with what felt like endless amounts free time, and I quickly began filling it. To start, I ramped up my studies, and my grades quickly responded. The more time and effort I was able to devote, the better my results. I continued to progress, and my confidence kept building. The sensation almost felt like running again. It was just a different kind of battle. Next, I began volunteering.

During my first spring break unhindered by athletic obligations, I chose to attend a mission trip to Cincinnati with my university’s FCA chapter. I quickly discovered how amazing it felt to help those in need, and I was hooked. Part of my service involved one-on-one reading lessons with children from a kindergarten class that had been falling behind. Seeing them progress brought joy to my heart. Soon after this trip, another mission opportunity presented itself. Without hesitation, I signed up and began working to fund the trip.

Three months later, I landed in Port Au Prince, Haiti. We were stationed in a mountaintop village with the goal of building a church and aiding the local ministry. I was humbled by the local people’s kindness and sense of community. Even young children, most without a pair of shoes, would carry heavy cinder blocks to add to the church walls. On the fourth morning of the trip, my body was weary from the days spent laboring under the Haitian sun, and I was again fighting the urge to start the day. However, I reminded myself of the task at hand, and how the entire village was relying on my group’s effort. Any restraint I had in my body was swiftly alleviated, and I arose to help complete the mission we had set out to accomplish.

With the great joy and personal fulfillment I’ve experienced through service projects and contributing to a team, I know that I am meant to represent something greater than myself. Just like leading my teammates onto the starting line, I want to lead my clients confidently into the court of law. While I know that I will never become an Olympic athlete, I plan to study and practice law with the persistence and determination I devoted to running. While life doesn’t always go according to plan, I have learned that it is rarely life’s challenges or setbacks that defines a person. Instead, it is how one reacts in the face of adversity, how one recovers after being knocked down, and how one’s actions influence the people around them.

[Mr. Archer]

It's very well written overall and tells an interesting story. You might want to think about shortening the beginning about high school. That way you'll have more space to talk about figuring out life as a non-runner in college. Right now you quickly talk about improving your grades and then talk about the mission trip. I take the theme of your personal statement as finding joy in helping others. So, you might cut out the improving grades part and save it for a an addendum about your GPA. The way it is now comes off a little like, "I had bad grades because I was an athlete and focused on that, but sports didn't work out so then I studied because I had free time. Now I want to go to law school." Just a few thoughts. Good luck.

[kkrunner]

Thanks for the input! In regards to writing an addendum, the general drift i've gotten from TLS is that college athletics/immaturity/upward-trend/hard major isn't a good enough reason to warrant one.

[Alive97]

I agree with the poster above. If I were you I'd reduce the HS paragraph, and in subsequent paragraphs, shore up the conceptual relation between transitioning out of racing (and what you learned about yourself during that process/how you grew) and your desire to go to law school. It seems like that conceptual relation only pops up in the conclusion, even though the transition is introduced several paragraphs prior. As it stands in those several paragraphs, it seems like a summary of what you did after stopping racing, rather than a development of a broader theme (presumably, your desire to go to law school).

Those are my thoughts, anyway. I think this will be a solid PS.