Help Please!! Forum

[Anonymous User]

[LSATclincher]

Great statement (I'm not checking for minor grammar). The last para needs tweaking though. Tell your story naturally and end it naturally. The last para is forced. No need to mention non-traditional or even mention diversity at all. You're submitting it as a diversity statement so they know why you are writing it. You can come up with a better ending to end on a high note.

[Anonymous User]

Great statement (I'm not checking for minor grammar). The last para needs tweaking though. Tell your story naturally and end it naturally. The last para is forced. No need to mention non-traditional or even mention diversity at all. You're submitting it as a diversity statement so they know why you are writing it. You can come up with a better ending to end on a high note.

Thank you for your feedback. I will work on that last paragraph. If the school specifically asks how I can contribute to diversity, can that be answered without saying it explicitly?

[sjp200]

I'm not an expert on diversity statements but instead of saying "being the only brown girl", say only girl of African American descent in your classes. "Brown" traditionally refers to Indian or middle-eastern, and regardless is too informal for an essay IMO

[oreomilkshake]

deleted.

[Anonymous User]

tbh after reading this i'm wondering if you still consider yourself not to be one of "those" black people and buy into the whole good n*****/bad n****** dichotomy. maybe that needs to be cleared up in the statement.... like i get that you're just explaining where you came from and every poc has had to do that shit to survive and unfortunately break into the white world of success but it still makes my stomach turn a little feeling like you're trying to sell yourself as the good kind of black.

I am not trying to sell myself as the "good black". I'm not even sure how you gathered that from this statement. This is just my life and what I did to fit in. I was a kid that was embarrassed, but I'm not putting anyone down.

[oreomilkshake]

deleted.

[Anonymous User]

mostly this

so that my classmates would not find out that I lived in those poorly kept apartments down the street from the school.

(separating yourself from the other people who live there)

and this

I spoke eloquently and dressed nicely and that allowed me to feel a sense of inclusion amongst my classmates.

(come on, eloquently/nicely is code for white is code for there is something wrong with the way black people talk/dress. there is nothing wrong with code switching, that is a valuable skill to have, there is something wrong with tacitly putting down black speech and fashion.)

and this

I have learned to be adaptable and agile.

you know, on second read through i think i went too far earlier - it does seem like "okay she's learned to navigate the white world successfully and can use her ability to relate to the white folks in order incorporate her experience and background in a way that makes sense to them" instead of "she's learned to hide who she really is and she doesn't think that person is acceptable in the law school world". either way i'm not sure how much an adcomm would care or read into it that much.

also reading through again, in the first paragraph consider changing "The lack of a college education..." to "Her lack of college a education..." if you are specifically talking about your mother.

I see what you are saying. Thanks for the advice.

[Anonymous User]

Thanks for the advice everyone! Going to make some changes!

[Anonymous User]

Deleted.