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- Cubank
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 11:14 am
Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement
Nothing??? Please guys....Im trying to send out apps when the October score comes out.
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- Posts: 11442
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm
Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement
Delete the reference to dog feces if you want folks to take you seriously.
- Cubank
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 11:14 am
Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement
Will do, thanks. Any other suggestions?CanadianWolf wrote:Delete the reference to dog feces if you want folks to take you seriously.
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- Posts: 11442
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm
Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement
Try "...stray dogs and their litter on the sidewalks."
No other suggestions because the grittiness & harsh reality comes through in a convincing fashion as written.
I suggested that you delete that reference because sometimes shock items in a communication are difficult to forget & you do not want to be remembered as the "dog waste" applicant. Otherwise, you've produced a very effective & memorable diversity statement. Good luck.
No other suggestions because the grittiness & harsh reality comes through in a convincing fashion as written.
I suggested that you delete that reference because sometimes shock items in a communication are difficult to forget & you do not want to be remembered as the "dog waste" applicant. Otherwise, you've produced a very effective & memorable diversity statement. Good luck.
- Cubank
- Posts: 23
- Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 11:14 am
Re: Please critique my Immigrant Diversity Statement
I agree that the added imagery isnt worth risking that scenario. Thanks again for the input.
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