Review my personal statement please! Forum
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Anonymous User
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Review my personal statement please!
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Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Nov 05, 2015 2:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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CanadianWolf
- Posts: 11453
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Re: Review my personal statement please!
Very well written. Interesting read. Nevertheless, there are a few minor adjustments needed.
CHANGE: "It was the intellectual breakthrough of the month." to "It was an intellectual breakthrough." The humor aspect is too risky & cheapens the overall quality of your writing.
In the last paragraph: DELETE: "radically". DELETE: "real" before "prior knowledge". CHANGE: "I get same feelings..." to "similar feelings" or to "the same feelings".
CHANGE: "And while law school won't be an easy course..." to "an easy journey."
CHANGE: "I know the process will be..." to "I suspect that the process...". Simply because there is no way that you could know that prior to experiencing law school.
CHANGE: "It was the intellectual breakthrough of the month." to "It was an intellectual breakthrough." The humor aspect is too risky & cheapens the overall quality of your writing.
In the last paragraph: DELETE: "radically". DELETE: "real" before "prior knowledge". CHANGE: "I get same feelings..." to "similar feelings" or to "the same feelings".
CHANGE: "And while law school won't be an easy course..." to "an easy journey."
CHANGE: "I know the process will be..." to "I suspect that the process...". Simply because there is no way that you could know that prior to experiencing law school.
