Personal Statement- please advise! Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hello, I updated my personal statement based on the helpful comments on my last post, and I would very much appreciate any advice you can give!

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[CanadianWolf]

Solid PS even though a bit long. The final sentence, however, is weak & in need of revision. CONSIDER: "...will lead to a career that will utilize all of my prior experience as a crisis counselor as well as my future Training as an Attorney."

Also, try to avoid ending sentences with a preposition.

[Anonymous User]

Thank you so much What do you think of: "I feel that the combination of my drive to advocate for underprivileged populations and my fascination with understanding our system of laws and how it functions will lead me to have a fulfilling and successful legal career." ?

[Anonymous User]

Oh sorry, I hadn't seen your recommended revision! Very helpful, I can't thank you enough!

[CanadianWolf]

Your alternate ending is fine, although "should" may be a better choice than "will" since you have not yet practiced law.