YALE 250 Critique? Forum

[WhiteHouse]

I don't know, it feels like its missing something. I want to rework some of the sentences, but I'm stuck. Also I'm exactly at 250 words. Any comments at all would be greatly appreciated:
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As a Shakespearean actor, I often find myself straddling the line between creativity and fidelity. How can I offer my own unique perspective on a text and introduce a new interpretation of a classic story without betraying its integrity? This dilemma is a tightrope walk I began thirteen years ago in my first play. My director suggested that I breathe new life into my character by filling the contextual gaps created by what was not explicitly written.

My desire to explore undiscovered interpretations drove me to read Shakespeare’s complete works at an early age. I approached them not as books, but as puzzles ready to be decoded. What many saw as completed works of art, I began to view as a framework to construct new ideas and to share my experiences. The more plays I performed, the more comfortable I became injecting my joys, my pains, and my life into the script. Vague phrases and homonyms became opportunities to explore new directions and push the boundaries of the text.

People find a sense of comfort in doing things the way they have been done before, by following the script. We can become so entranced by the genius of Shakespeare that we begin to think of his works as sacred products, prime for replication and admiration, but off limits to change. Actors, however, have the ability and the responsibility to disrupt that sense of complacency, to contribute different perspectives to these characters, and to expand the depth of the Shakespearean canon.
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Thanks!!

[CanadianWolf]

Great 250, in my opinion. Nevertheless, "my own, unique perspective" seems redundant to me. Also, the discomfort that you feel may be due to the fact that your concluding thought opens up a new issue for discussion (an actor's "responsibility" to interpret Shakespeare's works in a disruptive manner). Sometimes this can be handled by phrasing it as a question rather than as a statement. The question form indicates reflection, growth & future growth rather than just fueling discomfort by making a bold, unsupported claim.

[WhiteHouse]

Great 250, in my opinion. Nevertheless, "my own, unique perspective" seems redundant to me. Also, the discomfort that you feel may be due to the fact that your concluding thought opens up a new issue for discussion (an actor's "responsibility" to interpret Shakespeare's works in a disruptive manner). Sometimes this can be handled by phrasing it as a question rather than as a statement. The question form indicates reflection, growth & future growth rather than just fueling discomfort by making a bold, unsupported claim.

Wow thank you, this is really helpful! I completely agree with your comment on the last sentence. I want to open it up to broader context, but don't want to drop a new argument without any support. The reflective nature of a question is much more appropriate. Really appreciate it!!

[abitaman6363]

Your diction is pretty solid. However, the 250 lacks a certain zest that would (and should) make it stand out. One reason, I feel, is that there are few memorable details. The story of your struggle to comingle Shakespeare's words with your life's hallmarks is rather generic. I recommend bringing the reader further into the writing by including more imagery.

If you have any further questions, PM me.