PS- Please Help!!! Forum

[Anonymous User]

Hello, I think my previous post was too long, so here it goes again. Please help; any advice is very much appreciated!!

[UsernameNotFound]

I think you have a good basis for your essay. But man, was that second paragraph (in all my 50 hours...) hard to get through. There is so much in there that you can take out of that one.

[Anonymous User]

Very good to know, thank you so much! I will definitely work on wordiness and cutting shit out. Do you think the last paragraph is necessary? Like should I be bringing in those other experiences I have had with policy/public interest work stuff or is it kind of random with the rest of the essay?

[A. Nony Mouse]

To be honest, I did find it a little random - you have this essay primarily about your experience with the hotline, then the last paragraph reads a little like "but I'm really interested in policy and here's a list of the policy stuff I've done," which is probably all on your resume anyway. It seems to me that if you want to talk about your hotline experience, then keep the focus on that, but if you want to talk about your policy interests, change the PS topic to something policy related. (Or it may just be that it needs a better balance between the two things.)

You could keep the first sentence of the last paragraph, and instead of pivoting to "volunteering was great but really I like policy better," which kind of frames the policy stuff as a contrast to the volunteering, maybe transition more into why law seems to be a more effective way to address the deficiencies/failures you experienced (maybe something about how working at the policy level allows you to address/prevent problems on a bigger scale rather react to them on an individual basis).

The last few sentences really do seem to rehash your resume, and adcomms will have all that information already.

[Anonymous User]

Oh my goodness, thank you so much!! That really explains the issues I had with that last paragraph that I couldn't quite put my finger on. I was trying to tie it back to why I want to go to law school, and I was struggling because I don't want to disparage counseling as a career and how helpful that can be to people/society. I think saying it will allow me to address/prevent problems on a bigger scale rather than react to them on an individual basis is such a perfect way of describing it though. But do you think this topic would be more compelling and relevant since it focuses on my policy interests:

[CanadianWolf]

The major flaw with this proposed law school PS is that the writer failed to establish a topic. (This is, I suspect, why A. Nony Mouse found your PS to be "a little random".) The result appears to be little more than an overwhelming recitation of the writer's recent experiences which concludes with a regurgitation of the writer's resume.

[Anonymous User]

Gotcha, do you think the other topic focusing on public service/ United Students Against Sweatshops is better ?

[CanadianWolf]

Almost any topic is fine. The presentation of that topic is the key. Stay focused on a well established theme & present your support for that theme & your concluding thoughts in a clear & concise manner.