Getting closer to final draft, any thoughts? Forum

[Scalvert]

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[JazzyMac]

In efforts to be an asset to this forum, please take my opinions or feedback with a grain of salt.

This is a great paper and I think I read your rough draft a while back (could be wrong).

I would take out the part about "not enjoying" the classes you took in preparation to become a plastic surgeon. Spin it in a positive, ie, "I realized I much enjoyed reading war stories, watching documentaries, history classes, etc."

Remove "dry" topics, and instead insert something along the lines of, "I read War & Peace for fun". Depending on how you write it, it might produce a chuckle to the reader.

I'm way more of a print out, and red pen something, but for the sake of me not quoting, these are pieces of feedback. I can let you know more.

[Scalvert]

You could quote in a PM or If you do quote here, just remember to delete it in a couple of days! I appreciate the feedback.

[Scalvert]

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[JazzyMac]

I laughed out loud about the C-Span. That's exactly what I meant.

There are some grammar edits needed--correct tense and perhaps some verb correction. It's definitely a lot more vivid. Good job!

[Scalvert]

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[texasellewoods]

I laughed out loud about the C-Span. That's exactly what I meant.

^^same