Thoughts on my PS? Forum

Scalvert · Post by **Scalvert** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:28 am

As one of the handful of liberals at my small-town southern former HS, I can identify with everything you just said.

You might consider deleting "I still have arguments.....day to day life." like you said, those things really had no bearing on you. Also, go through and take out unnecessary adjectives and adverbs (this is something that I had to do with mine as well). It needs some streamlining, but I like it

CanadianWolf · Post by **CanadianWolf** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:50 am

I enjoyed reading your PS. Clarity of thought is your strength, brevity is not. Try to express yourself in a more concise manner so that you don't lose the reader's interest through needless repetition. The first sentence of one's PS is important. Consider using "some" instead of "they" (Some say that you find yourself in high school). This will allow you to retain credibility with a greater number of readers as many believe that college is the time of self-discovery, while others may feel that parenthood is the true time of one's self discovery. Additionally, this change should allow you a bit more flexibility in the development of your theme.

CanadianWolf · Post by **CanadianWolf** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:01 pm

A weakness in your theme, in my opinion, is that you have progressed from knowing that you're right & forcing your point of view on others, to knowing that you're right & being a bit more clever & considerate when trying to convince others. A touch of self doubt & respect for the perspectives of others is a better indication of true growth & maturation. There is a reason why the term "growing pains" is so widely used.

Indifference · Post by **Indifference** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:18 pm

I've got to disagree with some of the previous posters. While you are a good writer (although overly wordy), this PS pushes all the wrong buttons for me. First, you focus on how you like to argue and be persuasive, and how because you are convincing on a day to day basis you would be a good lawyer. That's pretty much a no-no for a law school PS. Also, the idea that a google search to out a crappy mechanic is what convinced you to go to law school does not sound entirely persuasive to me.

Sorry to be so harsh. I do think you are a good writer. I just don't think this is a good PS topic.

rnoodles · Post by **rnoodles** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:30 pm

mujiali wrote:I've got to disagree with some of the previous posters. While you are a good writer (although overly wordy), this PS pushes all the wrong buttons for me. First, you focus on how you like to argue and be persuasive, and how because you are convincing on a day to day basis you would be a good lawyer. That's pretty much a no-no for a law school PS. Also, the idea that a google search to out a crappy mechanic is what convinced you to go to law school does not sound entirely persuasive to me.

Sorry to be so harsh. I do think you are a good writer. I just don't think this is a good PS topic.

I have to second this. I only read the first paragraph and got a really off-putting feeling and made me form an opinion of you that was undoubtedly untrue. You shouldn't ever try to paint yourself as a difficult person. I mean, 5 years worth of interactions with people from (assumedly) 2 different cities and you still couldn't mesh with any of them? How do you thing that comes of to law schools which are noticeably smaller, emphasize collegiality, and are apparently a lot like hs socialization in some respects? Just things to think about OP.

But, FWIW, you are a great writer and I don't mean to be harsh. Hope it all works out phenomenally!!

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 12:59 pm

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

Full disclosure:
I used this PS when I applied two cycles ago. I applied late in the cycle (January) with a 169 LSAT, a 3.3 GPA and a hope for T-14 so I know I was a long-shot to begin with, but I kept having the distinct impression that my personal statement really held me back.
At the time I had not done a lot of research into what topics made a strong personal statement or what tones were most effective. I'm happy to report that I have since retaken the LSAT and scored in the mid 170's. I've also written a new PS for this cycle (currently in another thread) which more brief, more appropriate, makes me sound more likable and has received lots of positive feedback.

Thank you all for helping to confirm that this PS was a serious hindrance to my previous applications.

Scalvert · Post by **Scalvert** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 1:22 pm

I almost used this same topic for mine, so I suppose it's difficult to see the drawbacks when it's a personal thing. Good luck and congrats on the great score!

Anonymous User · Post by **Anonymous User** » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:41 pm

Scalvert wrote:I almost used this same topic for mine, so I suppose it's difficult to see the drawbacks when it's a personal thing. Good luck and congrats on the great score!

Thank you!
I think you can absolutely write the topic well so don't let my failure to do so discourage you!

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