Personal Interest Personal Statement Forum

[Anonymous User]

Here's the first draft of my P.S. Pretty short but gives a good idea of my background of helping others and why I want to become a lawyer.

My hands were caked in flour and blue food coloring; my forehead was starting to bead with perspiration but I couldn’t stop. Everything had to be perfect for the party and most importantly, my 80’s rubix cube cake had to look exactly like the real thing. I was in charge of planning an 80’s dance for the Special Education class at my high school. It was their prom night, and it was up to me to make sure everything was “totally 80’s”. I spent hours crafting that cake and with the help of my peers along created a wall sized Pacman scene to make the dance even more special. The room ended up looking great, but it was the look on their faces that was breathtaking. It was a look that I still remember to this day and will never forget. I went home that night and cried. My outlook on life was forever changed by what I had seen.
It is the same look that I see when I volunteer at the local Braille Institute. Though many of the students have lost almost all of their ability to see, I witness it in their faces. The look of pure joy and happiness just by me doing the simple act of guiding them to their next class or getting lunch with them and talking about life.
After that dance and volunteering at the Braille, something in me changed. I learned about what true hardships in life are and became more fortunate for the life I have. I was able to attend my high school prom, I have been blessed to have 20/20 vision and I have been lucky enough to attend a university and received my degree. Many people, like those I have helped, are not as fortunate, yet have such a positive outlook on life. It was because of this that I started to see the big picture in life and I learned the value of patience and understanding through helping others.
My senior quote in high school was, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” But there I was, fretting over making sure each square was perfectly aligned to the cake. It was the 80’s dance and volunteering at the Braille that finally pushed me to fully embody that saying. By no longer focusing on the minor details, I was able to see the big ideas and what is most important to me. It’s not about making the most beautiful cake; it’s about how that cake could affect people in a positive way.
My volunteer efforts have developed into a strong passion for helping others. It is a passion that I hope to now turn into a career through public interest law. By becoming a public interest attorney, I will have the opportunity to really help the people around me. I will be more than an arm that helps guide my clients to the right direction. I will be able to impact their lives. It may be helping make sure that a young girl has access to a fair education, or a visually impaired adult has the opportunity to learn and attend a school like the Braille Institute. No matter what the case, I know that through public interest law, I will have a positive impact on individuals and even communities which is more intrinsically motivating than anything else.
“School name” is known for it’s prestigious public interest program. Etc etc etc go into detail about each schools P.I. program and why I feel like I should be selected for it.

[Anonymous User]

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[mist4bison]

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[Anonymous User]

I think that overall this topic could turn into a good PS, but at the moment it's very elementary. It's also repetitive and doesn't exactly delve much past the surface level. I think that this draft can be scrapped and you can restart suing one specific instance--I'd say the HS dance--to highlight what kind of qualities this experience brought you. The Braille thing you gloss over and I'm assuming it's in your resume, so I don't think it's necessary.

You discuss that working with these disadvantaged groups changed your outlook on life forever. Okay, cool. How? Why does this experience make you different than you were before or than you are from any other applicant? A desire to help people isn't enough, imo. A lot of people have a desire to help people; it doesn't mean they'll make great lawyers. I also think some of this reads as melodramatic (see, "I went home that night and cried"). Don't do this. It's weird.

The dance thing might be a good anecdote to write about in order to show that one of your prevailing personal qualities is dedication.

Thank you! I thought I could kind of tie the Braille in with the dance but I see what you mean.. I'll rewrite solely about the dance since it's not part of my resume and the braille is listed on there.

Lol to the crying thing.. I tacked that on at the end to try to embellish a little.. should of left it off you're right.

The experience made me more patient, compassionate/understanding, less superficial, and really opened my eyes to the less fortunate around the world.. I was in such a bubble of high school and my friends and cheerleading at the time that I didn't really pay attention to anyone else.. I kind of listed that in the essay but should I go deeper into each of those things? with P.I. I think it's extremely important to have patience and be understanding as with all other areas of law..

[Gefuehlsecht]

I like this for some reason. I would not scrap it totally. It needs some work, obviously, especially towards the end. I'd redo the last paragraph.

[Anonymous User]

I like this for some reason. I would not scrap it totally. It needs some work, obviously, especially towards the end. I'd redo the last paragraph.

I just posted my second draft based off of the initial feedback.. feel free to read it!