input GREATLY GREATLY appreciated!!!!!!! Forum

[d39524s]

It was 87 degrees out, and sweat was literally pouring out of my body. As I crossed the finish line of my first half-marathon, I thought I would feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment, but at that moment, all I felt was a burning desire to lie on the pavement and let go of my consciousness. But despite the pain, within minutes of finishing, I knew that I was officially addicted to endurance running.
Since then, I’ve completed six half-marathons, one Tough Mudder, three runs across the state of New Hampshire, and am in the middle of training for my first full marathon. Since that first half marathon in 2010, running has been a constant part of my life. I have served as a captain and social chair for the Dartmouth Endurance Racing Team, my university’s team for adventure and long-distance racing.
Being a runner has taught me so many lessons; one of those is tenacity. Being a runner means refusing to succumb to your weaknesses. This summer, I was hospitalized for a week and a half due to an extremely severe infection. When I left the ICU, I was about ten pounds lighter than when I entered, and extremely weak. The day that I was allowed to begin physical activity again, I was determined to lace up my sneakers and go for a run. I barely lasted fifteen minutes. Three weeks earlier, I had been completing ten-mile runs with ease. I knew that the fall marathon I had been training for would not be possible, but I didn’t let that deter me from pursuing my goal. I got over my disappointment and signed myself up for a spring marathon, which I am confident that I will complete this May.
Endurance racing has also honed my ability to strategize successfully. Every time I run a half marathon (my current favorite event), I aim to beat my personal best and place in my age division. But there are multiple different ways to try and accomplish this: do I run at a strong and consistent pace the entire time? Or do I start out slowly and try to run the second half of the race more quickly than the first? The answer depends on a variety of factors: how I’m feeling that day, the layout and difficulty of the course, who my competitors are, and so on. Running is more than a physical sport; it’s a difficult mental endeavor as well.
Perhaps the most difficult running endeavor I’ve participated in is Race Across The State, a fundraiser organized by my team to raise money for the Children’s Hospital at Dartmouth. Race Across The State is a 24-hour, overnight relay race in which 6 members of our team run the from Dover, Maine, all the way back to Hanover, NH (over 130 miles!) Last year, when I captained the team, our team broke CHaD’s overall fundraising record, which was incredibly exciting.
I had a coach once who loved to tell us that running is a metaphor for life. I didn’t quite recognize the wisdom of his words at the time, but looking back, I wholeheartedly agree; the traits that characterize me as a runner will serve me well in law school and in my career in the legal field.
Like runners, great lawyers must be tenacious; they must be willing to fight for the pursuit of justice, even when they are facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles. Just as I don’t give up at mile 11 of a half marathon or on the seventh obstacle of a Tough Mudder, I will not back down when I face challenges in a classroom or in a courtroom.
One of the most valuable assets that I possess as a runner is the ability to assess a situation and strategize quickly and flexibly. Similarly, lawyers must be able to tackle a difficult case and deduce how best to approach it. While it is rooted in precedent, the law is dynamic and constantly evolving, which I am well equipped to handle.
Since high school, I have wanted to be a lawyer because of my desire to impact people’s lives positively. I have done this throughout my life, and I have combined my love for philanthropy with my passion for running. In the pursuit of justice, lawyers must constantly strive to protect the wellbeing of their clients, and I know that I will never lose sight of this fact.
Being a runner truly is about setting goals for yourself and striving to accomplish them, no matter how challenging they may be to achieve. I can still remember the moment I decided I wanted a career in the legal field. It was in tenth grade, and I had just finished the book “The Nine” by Jeffrey Toobin. I was absolutely fascinated by the complexities and intricacies of our legal system. Though I was young, something clicked – I knew that being in the legal field was something I could truly see myself doing. I want a career that challenges me, a career where I can benefit others in the pursuit of justice, a career that I am passionate about. After devouring information on law school, I know without a doubt that becoming a lawyer is the next endeavor I want to accomplish.

[d39524s]

bump pls <3

[Ramius]

I didn't mind this statement, but it hardly wowed me about you. Trying to connect endurance running wasn't a failure, but it felt a little forced in making it this big statement about you. You could replace endurance running with any random sport or activity and make a similar case, so it doesn't really set you apart in any way. Also, I'd get rid of the entire thing about figuring out you wanted to be a lawyer back in high school.

Maybe I'm just jaded, but your platitudes about what a career in the legal field would entail made you seem somewhat naive as to what the actual legal field is like. That may not hurt you in your PS, but I sincerely hope you're realistic as to what your career will likely look like in going to law school.

This statement probably won't hurt you in any way, and it can certainly use some revision in cleaning up some of the grammar, but I have a hard time seeing this statement make you stand out amongst a sea of candidates.

[Gefuehlsecht]

So you like to run. You're good at it. Being a lawyer is like running and you'll be good at being a lawyer, too. After all, you're good at running . . .
I don't know. After reading this, I'd pick you for my dodge ball team but I don't think I'd admit you to my law school.
Here is what I think you should do: Forget about linking lawyers to runners. If you want to write about running, fine. Pick the hardest run of your life. Tell me about it. What made it hard? How did you manage to finish anyways? Tell me more about yourself and your character. Then pick a single attribute of yours. Let's say resilience. Now link resilience to what you'll do in law school. See if that improves things.