Your Input Appreciated Forum

[Anonymous User]

nm. Thanks for all who helped.

[dontdoitkid]

I usually don't like quotes at the beginning of personal statements, but I think you actually pulled this off pretty well. It provided a context that you referred back to later on (most people say the quote, talk about it, and then never return to it again). Overall I think it's pretty good - you don't cover too much ground, but the concept of overcoming adversity (in your case with MS) is broad to begin with. If executed correctly, however, it can read well, and I think you definitely did that.

Try shortening some of the paragraphs in which you've made the same point more than once, and having a slightly increased emphasis on how it has impacted your decision to study law. That will make it even better.

[Gefuehlsecht]

I think it only needs some minor tweaks. Shorten some sentences. I don't like the quote in the beginning. Try to hide the ball a little longer and weave that information into your first paragraph somehow. Or maybe cut it out completely, the statement will work without it. Repost after your edits are done, please. I'd like to read the final product.

[Anonymous User]

nm