Critique my Diversity Statement please! Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
Arad

Bronze
Posts: 133
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:17 pm

Critique my Diversity Statement please!

Post by Arad » Sun Sep 14, 2014 8:26 am

Will be redoing from scratch
Last edited by Arad on Mon Sep 15, 2014 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Top
smile0751

Bronze
Posts: 490
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2014 11:40 pm

Re: Critique my Diversity Statement please!

Post by smile0751 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:44 pm

Are all the innuendos at the beginning intentional? If not, I think you need to rewrite the intro to make it clear you are talking about DJing sooner (I dont think I have a particularly dirty mind...). If they are intentional, I think you are taking a risk, but it's your risk / reward to take.
Top
User avatar
pancakes3

Platinum
Posts: 6619
Joined: Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:49 pm

Re: Critique my Diversity Statement please!

Post by pancakes3 » Sun Sep 14, 2014 2:48 pm

Stylistically cliche, verbose, and yet lacks a convincing central argument.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”