Please Critique My Diversity Statement Forum

[Paigeburly]

Hello everyone,
I have written a diversity statement on my experience growing up homeschooled to accompany my personal statement.
I would love to hear any feedback regarding the form, content, length etc.
Specifically is the end decent? Or does it need something stronger or no conclusion at all?
Thank you!

_____________________________________________________

“Different”, “weird”, “retarded” and “strange”. These were all words that I overheard in conversations growing up. The curious stares I would receive in the grocery store, the jokes other girls would make about me at Sunday school; I knew I was different. Growing up I was one of a very few kids in the neighborhood who were homeschooled, and not just homeschooled but “homeschooled”. An existence in which I had never stepped foot in a classroom or done homework. My mom was my teacher and my backyard was my world.

When I was young I was so excited to learn. I would pour over my books and read everything I could find. My mom started my first lessons at three because I needed to channel all of my ADHD energy. I always enjoyed reading, first my school books, then magazines then cereal boxes, there was no end to my need to learn more. Some weeks I would be inspired and complete 3 months of schoolwork in one week simply because I enjoyed it so much. As a little girl I never wondered about how different my life was, but as I got older I began to doubt my mom’s choice to homeschool me and my sister, and if being different meant that I would somehow be forever strange. I would spend hours of my teenage existence arguing and begging my mom to let me go to school, so I could be “cool”, so I could blend in and not have to make excuses to the grocery store clerk for why I wasn’t in school at 11am. My mom always said that she wanted me to be protected, that she wanted me to be free to grow in my need to learn. I resented her for it.

However, looking back today I can now say that I am so thankful that I got to experience my first 18 years of life homeschooled, and if you asked if I wanted to live it all over again I would without a doubt say yes. I have learned to embrace the fact that people can be different, that there are many life paths, and I can now genuinely appreciate the idea of diversity. My first day in a classroom was my first day of college, and if possible I was even more excited than before to learn to excel in a classroom, and unlike many other fellow college students, who had spent years and years growing up in a classroom environment, I was fresh and excited to take on the new challenge. The skills I have learned as a homeschooler are invaluable. I learned to be independent and to take initiative, as I grew older I was completely self-taught and could complete my schoolwork without oversight. I was expected to be responsible for myself and that no teacher or parent was responsible for my success. The day I graduated from college I thanked my mom for having the patience, sacrifice and dedication to help me become the person she believed I could be. My mom not only gave me my education but she also taught me the most valuable lesson I have learned in life so far: not all things in life may seem good or “right” in the moment, but in hindsight they are the experiences which refine and grow us into individuals.

[FanOfPosner]

I would drop "retarded". Because: 1. There's real social stigma around the use of that word right now, so it's jarring. 2. It makes it seem like the diversity statement is going to go a completely different way.

[kevgogators]

I would drop "retarded". Because: 1. There's real social stigma around the use of that word right now, so it's jarring. 2. It makes it seem like the diversity statement is going to go a completely different way.

[Paigeburly]

Good points. It's a really harsh word, I will go ahead and change that right now. Thank you!

[Paigeburly]

Hi Guys, So here is the revised version. After viewing multiple applications I thought it might be a good idea to blend in my academic work to my diversity statement. My diversity factor (homeschooling) was also the subject of a published thesis work I did in UG. Merging them together I thought might be a good idea in showing how I have utilized my different perspective to make an academic contribution.

Thoughts? Critiques? The harsher the better

_______________________________________________________________________________________

“Different”, “weird” and “strange”. These were all words that I overheard in conversations growing up. The curious stares I would receive in the grocery store, the jokes other girls would make about me at Sunday school; I knew I was different. Growing up I was one of a very few kids in the neighborhood who were homeschooled, and not just homeschooled but “homeschooled”, not private schooled, or charter schooled but purely homeschooled, an existence in which I had never stepped foot in a classroom or done homework; my mom was my teacher and my backyard was my world.

My mom started my first lessons at the young age of three because she needed to channel all of my ADHD energy. I always enjoyed reading the most, first my school books, then magazines then cereal boxes, there was no end to my need to learn more. Some days I would be inspired to complete 3 months of schoolwork in one week simply because I enjoyed a story so much. As a little girl I never wondered about how unusual my circumstances were.

However as I got older I began to realize how different my family’s lifestyle really was. I soon became embarrassed, and spent many hours of my teenage existence arguing with mom to let me go to school, so I could be “normal”, go to prom and not have to make excuses to the grocery store clerk for why I wasn’t in school in the middle of the day.

My mom always said that she wanted me to be protected, that she wanted me to be free to learn without the need for drugs to control my hyperactive energy, but her reasoning didn’t keep me from deeply resenting her for it. Whenever I would really want to upset my mom I would threaten to call Child Protective Services to say that I was being “abused” by not being allowed to attend public school. As a member of the local homeschool group I had read and heard others talking about how homeschooling was being prosecuted throughout the US and I knew that bringing it up would bother my mom the most.

However, looking back today I can now say that I am so thankful that I got to experience my first 18 years of life homeschooled. I have since learned to embrace the fact that people can be different, and can now as an adult genuinely appreciate the unique perspective and skills that being homeschooled has given me. My first day in a classroom was my first day of college, and I was even more excited than ever before to learn. And unlike many other fellow college students, who had spent years and years already in a classroom environment, I was fresh and excited to take on a new challenge.

During my junior year of undergraduate study I was selected to participate in the UCSD Sociology department honors research program. The program involved the creation of a research thesis and topic proposal that would be composed of 50 pages of original research and analysis completed over a years’ time and critiqued by two separate faculty supervisors.
In selecting a topic I was excited to finally have an opportunity to further research homeschooling, particularly the area of legal precedence and policy. Since starting college I had anecdotally seen more and more the emergence of “homeschooling” as a term being used less as a description for extremes, and more as synonymous with the charter school movement. Even the term itself had begun to be used in a positive way, almost like the word “private” or “elite” schooling.

My thesis question therefore related to trying to understand the emergence of the Homeschooling movement in the United States and the evolution of its public acceptance. The analysis of my research centered on homeschooling’s creation first as a social movement, and its eventual social evolution into the charter school formats popular in United States education today.
Conclusions and analysis of the study involved measuring the quantitative factors involved in homeschooling (such as religious affiliation of participants and state to state legal regulations) in an effort to assess the causal mechanisms of why the homeschooling model has become so much more acceptable in United States public educational culture as opposed to its global counterparts, where it is still legally prohibited and prosecuted in such places as Germany and the Netherlands. My research showed much promise in helping me understand a movement which I myself had been a part of. It was an amazing moment when I could reconcile my educational work with who I was as an individual.

The day I graduated from college I finally apologized and thanked my mom for having the patience, sacrifice and dedication in helping me to become the person she believed I could be. I believe that homeschooling has given me many key skills and viewpoints that will be essential for practice in law. I learned to be independent and to take initiative. I was largely self-taught and could complete schoolwork without oversight. I also was expected to take responsibility for myself and not to rely on a teacher or parent to be responsible for my success. All traits which I believe I might not have otherwise learned in a traditional class setting.

In the future I would love to further be involved in the areas of legal policy, both domestically and internationally that would further help develop and protect innovative education methods such as homeschooling. I have a passion for the educational needs of countries which do not have traditional access to schooling, and see the design and curriculum of many homeschooling programs in the United States as being relevant solutions to helping to solve many educational issues around the globe.