PS rough draft, please critique Forum

[Anonymous User]

Below is my current personal statement, looking for critiques. More specifically, I would like more critique on the trajectory, what the topics could improve etc. The grammar and sentence structure will come after that.

Also, personal names and other potentially identifying information was &%^%& or bolded.

Taken down, someone advised me to stay private.

The personal statement is a mix about my intellectual development as well as being a professional athlete after a successful college career. If you would like to read it, please PM me.