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cmroberto
- Posts: 66
- Joined: Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:52 pm
Re: Seeking TLS wisdom. Critique PS draft, please?
While your PS is interesting, it seems like it just doesn't tell me enough about you. I have a few suggestions about how you may fix this problem.
1) you spend too much time (or too many words, I guess) on the anecdote in the beginning. To be honest, you started to lose me there. Definitely don't cut it out altogether, but definitely pare it down. It doesn't provide enough important insight into who you are as a student/person or what your goals are and it's just a little too long.
2) in the second half of your statement, in which you are outlining your academic experience and your future goals, you should do more "showing" and less "telling". Don't simply say "I did X because of Y" and "Z is my goal for my legal career". Rather, express these things in a way that demonstrates why Columbia (or any other school) should want someone with your credentials and really sell your ability to succeed in LS/the legal profession, regardless of what field you work in.
I think this is a great start to a PS and you're certainly far ahead of where I was this time last year. I hope you will consider my advice and feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. I'm KJD and a reverse splitter who got into my first choice school (T20) when others with significantly stronger numbers did not, so I have to believe that my PS was at least partially responsible for my success.
1) you spend too much time (or too many words, I guess) on the anecdote in the beginning. To be honest, you started to lose me there. Definitely don't cut it out altogether, but definitely pare it down. It doesn't provide enough important insight into who you are as a student/person or what your goals are and it's just a little too long.
2) in the second half of your statement, in which you are outlining your academic experience and your future goals, you should do more "showing" and less "telling". Don't simply say "I did X because of Y" and "Z is my goal for my legal career". Rather, express these things in a way that demonstrates why Columbia (or any other school) should want someone with your credentials and really sell your ability to succeed in LS/the legal profession, regardless of what field you work in.
I think this is a great start to a PS and you're certainly far ahead of where I was this time last year. I hope you will consider my advice and feel free to PM me if you have any other questions. I'm KJD and a reverse splitter who got into my first choice school (T20) when others with significantly stronger numbers did not, so I have to believe that my PS was at least partially responsible for my success.
