Opening Personal Statement with Quote? First Paragraph Forum

[wrstroud]

"The worst combination of things is to not try to do the right thing, and to lose. Then you have nothing to hold your hat on”- Michael Bloomberg to David Cameron, quoted in TIME. This quote, in more than one way, encapsulates my conscientious—if not latent—resolve to use my own awareness to the benefit of others. Parallel to the moments in my life which have the most profound impact, this particular quote is conventionally innocuous, buried deep within the cover story and not on the cover itself. As a well-traveled 22 year old, any number of my experiences could perhaps make an excellent cover story to advertise my life on. However, it is often only the cover’s theme or narrative that one remembers, and not the seemingly insignificant details. I have found that these little details in life can mean much more than the glossy binding they are swallowed by. In this regard, the most moving moments and themes in my life are pale in comparison to the circumstances surrounding them, but nonetheless contain powerful messages that made me who I am today. In this sense, I would have nothing to hold my hat on if not for the lessons I have learned

[Synch]

The problem with opening with a quote is that it's not about you. You only have a limited amount of space with which to talk about yourself, and you need every line. IMO opening with a quote just makes the reader think about the person who said the quote, and not about you. I want to know about you, not Bloomberg.

[nothingtosee]

I think beginning with a quote is very 11th grade tbh. And I would not say well traveled 22 year old...sounds like "omg I went to that 5 story club in Prague" whether or not that's the case. I do like the cover story imagery...but I don't know that fits the purpose of a personal statement. Maybe start with the meat, then consider putting the quote in later...you'll probably find it works well without the quote. Good luck!

[wrstroud]

Thanks for the input!!

I think I can go from the same approach without the quote.

[Synch]

Good luck!

[papercut]

Quote openers are really hard to pull off. A blind applicant quoting Hellen Keller could pull it off. But if it looks at all like you just googled "inspiring quotes," then drop it.

Anyway, that's just an awful quote.