Deleted Forum

[Anonymous User]

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[Ramius]

Way, way too long. Please cut this down to 1.5 pages using 12 point font max. You go into far too much detail in describing your family's poverty situation. You spend half a page talking about groceries...doesn't that seem excessive to you? I know you're trying to take a basic necessity and use it to showcase your situation growing up, but you can be much more succinct about it.

Read through each sentence and decide whether it is an effective use of space to further your base message, which is that your family is poor but they managed to overcome it.

[Anonymous User]

Thanks for your help!