A THOUSAND BLESSINGS upon those who critique my statement :] Forum

[abovethelaw]

nevermind

[Ramius]

I'm not sure what I just read, but it won't work as a personal statement. There are too many problems in it to even begin to critique it. You need to scrap this entire thing and put some time into focusing on the intent of a personal statement. You're trying to convey something to the reader that makes it seem like you'd be a good candidate for law school. That means you need to focus on one or two specific qualities about yourself that you believe will make you a good law student, figure out something in your past experiences that showcases those qualities and present it in a clear, concise manner that gives another dimension to you as an applicant. This statement rambled on incoherently and doesn't use a central theme to tie it together in any effective way. Before you write another version, take the time to read some of the examples in the admissions section of this website. It'll give you some good ideas of ways to write an effective PS.