My PS is either really unique or just plain wrong. Advice pl Forum

[WongWray]

I wrote the intro paragraph without doing any real research to keep my PS as unique and genuine as possible but, after reading some examples, I can't decide if this is a good way to go or not.

Its hard to deny it, there exists a certain beauty within the skill set of a lawyer. The abilities of persuasion, negotiation, and logical reasoning that every lawyer must posses are such powerful tools. With a single act of written or verbal communication a lawyer can alter perceptions that people have had for their entire lives. Concrete beliefs can be influenced. Hopeless situations can be improved. Bitter disputes can be reconciled. Whether handling a single family’s divorce or modifying a law’s interpretation for an entire nation, a lawyer has the capability to evolve a society in ways that other professions cannot. To me, that is such a beautiful thing.

Most of my writing has been more motivational and speech-like as opposed to the narrative, story-telling style that I keep seeing online. Please be brutally honest. Also, I'm a first-time poster so if I've broken some forum rule I apologize. Thanks in advance.

[albanach]

Its hard to deny it, there exists a certain beauty within the skill set of a lawyer.....

What is this supposed to tell us about you? Your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the school about you as a person.

[cinephile]

Its hard to deny it, there exists a certain beauty within the skill set of a lawyer.....

What is this supposed to tell us about you? Your personal statement is your opportunity to tell the school about you as a person.

Agreed. Also, it seems a little silly to tell people who went to law school/work in a law school about the skill set of a lawyer when you don't have direct experience. If you do have direct experience like having parents who are lawyers or working as a paralegal, why not just talk about how that has inspired you to take this next step and that you know what you're in for.

[WongWray]

Thank you both for the advice. Looks like I might have to take this in a new direction.